If people are as horrible in real life as they are on here I really feel sorry for their children, friends and family 😩

[ToddlerMama27]

There’s just so much bullying, nastiness and judgement

I don’t think for one minute that the online persona of most matches their real life interactions with people.

YANBU

I completely agree! I'm quite new to the app and I'm shocked to see how horrible people can be, it's quite toxic really!

Other message boards are available. Is netmums still going?

Luckily they're mostly completely false so appear to be much nicer in real life. We get to see what they're really like.

I just posted this in another thread. So many folks giving extreme reactions, always encouraging women to isolate themselves over the slightest offence. It’s utterly appalling

I guess people put down here what they may think in real life, but not say? For instance I may think in RL...FFS she's not pregnant again! She already has 6 children and neither she nor the DH work! I certainly wouldn't say it, but I might be tempted to write it down here. Even then I would think twice and probably not.

Yes, people coming on here upset and being told they’re just silly or childish. Imagine going to your mother and being invalidated like that instead of being heard. Loads of bitches here but then we know loads of women make shite mothers.

And...we're back.

You've just proved the OP's point perfectly 🙄

It has been a while...

I think on here people say what they really think but in real life they wouldn't get away with saying.

I find some of the vitriol and harsh parenting directed towards children particularly hard to understand. Wander over to the step parenting board to see what I mean. I really hope some people are venting and don't take their attitudes into real life.

Mumsnet has always been like this IME. There are just a lot of posters on here so you are bound to get some absolute assholes. I genuinely do think they are the minority though.

My tip is don't get heavily involved in any long threads (except really lighthearted ones maybe). The problem with the long ones is that people only read the most recent posts or all the op's posts at best and then they get all offended at something taken out of context and there's no talking people down once they've decided someone has been offensive, especially if someone else has already decided to be offended...

Bit of a ramble, but that's my analysis after quite a few years on MN.

If you want to comment just say your piece and move on. Don't get into defending yourself or what you've said because it is like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall once one or two people have decided you've done wrong and then others join in because it must be a good idea if everyone else seems to be doing it. It's classic mob mentality.

But again, this is the minority of threads and generally just the long ones on more serious / emotive subjects.

I avoid any long threads on bfing, climate change, step-parenting and child free by choice. Too emotive. Usually end up as nasty bunfights unfortunately.

It's a shame as there is value in the site imo, but I agree with you that there are some nasty bastards on here.

I'm on Reddit as well and other SM and I'd say you honestly do get it in lots of sites. It isn't just Mumsnet

I think it's kind of the other way around.

I think it's a masterclass in how your behaviour might upset/inconvenience someone else and really good for hearing an alternative view.

I've definitely been more considerate of other people's situations and motivations since I've been here.

I often think I wish that a couple of family members would post their expectations of me in AIBU. They would have their arses handed to them. 😅

I said on another thread that I believe being on mumsnet for too long rewires people's brain chemistry.

There's a sort of accepted wisdom on Mumsnet that bears no resemblance to anything in real life. A lot of the posts must be from perfectly nice people who turn into angry keyboard warriors when triggered on here. And an odd number of really anti social posters who seem to think any RL interaction with others is cheeky fuckery. It's bizarre.

Yes, I agree with this too and think Mumsnet has made me a lot more aware and a bit more considerate. Especially things like pregnancy announcements.

Personally I have found a lot of kindness and compassion on MN, far more than in real life. Probably because whatever your problem, there is someone who has the same one. But not on AIBU. I never start a thread here. I go to other forums.

Me three!

Have become much better at letting other people's weirdness/rude/offhand behaviour wash over me because you just never know what's going on in people's lives. The amount of shit some people get dealt is frankly astonishing.

I can live with all that, it's the fact that MN isn't as funny as it was back in the day when I first joined (several changes of name ago) ten years or so ago.

It depends what the reasons for the exchange of views is. In real life it's often very difficult to say what you really think because many people don't want that, they want support and to be told that everything is going to be fine and that they did the right thing. Only close mature friendships can withstand telling someone certain things.
Online threads can be about supporting. but unless specifically asked for they are more about helping, and helping includes hearing differing opinions. How they are communicated depends on many things and on a forum such as this is not something that can be controlled.

That I agree with.

But to fundamentally disagree with an OP you need to assume that you know more than they do about the situation, which is impossible.

I'd avoid posting on AIBU, unless I was collecting material for an article. But MN has made me realise how very different people are. I value that.

I skim over the angry stuff.

I've come to the conclusion that social media is largely about telling other people off. People seem to get a kick out of doing so.