Have you ever lost a long term friend?

[RedRobyn2021]

My friendship of 12 years seems to be coming to an end and I am feeling a lot of pain. Just questioning everything about myself and feeling really sad.

Have you ever lost a long term friend?

Yes I had a friend of 17 years just disappear from my life. We’d been each other’s bridesmaids and were so close.

She had moved away but we were still in regular touch. Then I distanced myself from a mutual friend who was having an affair with a married man and she basically convinced my friend that I was being a bitch and she was a victim. My friend dropped me without even asking for my side of the story.

Yes, have a friend of 20+ years who moved away to another country. Before that we'd meet up regularly and could talk for hours. She would mention occasionally how she didn't have many friends mostly because in her words 'people don't live up to my friendship standards'. I wasn't totally sure what that meant until it happened to me!

I was going through a sudden bereavement and she wanted to video call all the time. I just couldn't handle it as I was quite depressed (I was much happier to chat on text). I should have just told her but instead I made excuses (rather than admitting I didn't have the energy for long video calls). She took the huff and sent me a long series of texts about how people always let her down and how texting is not how you maintain a friendship etc. I replied and apologised/explained but that was it. I allowed it to limp on for a few months, occasionally video calling her but when I realised that I actually dreaded these calls, I asked myself why I was doing this? You shouldn't dread speaking to your friends!

She was never quite the same after her text tirade and I sensed her disapproval. Just 'like all the others' I'd failed to live up to her 'standards of friendship'. I did actually send her a text a couple of months ago to tell her some exciting life news but I just got a very clipped response in return.

That was it for me. I shouldn't have to to 'live up to friendship standards' (whatever that means). It's really sad but I also accept that life has seasons. Some people stick with you throughout them all and some don't.

I think its totally natural, as you grow, you grow apart. I think lots of friendships just fizzle out as circumstances change. Life just gets in the way!

Yes a 15 year one around 14 years ago.I realised it was me putting all the work in so I (childishly) thought I'm not going to be in contact unless she contacts me and guess what she didn't.She wasn't an emotionally available person really and I'm the opposite.
It just fizzled out and tbh I was glad.

I had a close friend.
Me and my family really supported her also when she was going through a number of very bad years.
Then things changed for her,she was happier and started dating...
I knew she was happier but I didnt know about the boyfriend.....because as I found out from a mutual friend.....she was only telling friends about him.
She relied on me for so much and part of that was her making me feel sorry for her.

Yep, my best friend if 15 years literally turned on me overnight. I thought of her like the sister I never had.

When I split up with my ex (my sons dad) she was there and helped so much. I did the same when it happened to her too.

She had a jealous streak in her and she wasn't on my side most of the time towards the end. Didn't like me having other friends other than her. Didn't like the fact I'd gone to Uni, didn't like the fact I still worked because in her eyes I should claim benefits and not work because I was a single mum - basically she wanted me at her beck and call and not have a lovely away from her.

She would try and sabotage any relationship that was developing between me and whoever by looking them up on Facebook and messaging them! I started something up with an old school friend and she jumped in and wrecked it

When she met her now husband, I was casted aside, she had no time for me (her words) and didn't need me as much....

We then just parted, she deleted me off her Facebook and that was that.

The best thing is my life blossomed without her, sometimes you do just outgrow somebody and they are not for you anymore.

She saw my Mum the other week (it's been 9 years) and she said that life got in the way of our friendship which made me so angry! She ditched me for her husband 🤣