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Original poster

Hit neighbours car and drove off

105 replies

Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:29

Yes I know I'm a idiot, I just need someone who isn't my husband to talk this through with.
So this evening as I reversed out my drive the back of my car made contact with my neighbours car which had been parked across the street. I knew that the cars had touched but really thought it was nothing, no noise when it happened, didn't feel anything in my car, only knew because I saw how close the other car was when I looked in the rearview mirror. As I thought (stupidly) nothing had happened I drove off.
Another neighbour saw what happened and told the neighbour who's car I hit. This neighbour then went round to my house when I was out and spoke to my husband about it. I have had the lecture on how immature I was and "what if it had been a child" from my husband and feel suitably awful. I am planning on going round to apologise in the morning.
How am I best to approach this? I feel like being honest and saying I didn't think I'd done any damage won't go down well. My husband says they weren't angry and don't want any money (their car wasn't damaged) it was a more of a "we're disappointed" sort of thing. My husband has told me I've embarrassed our family in front of the neighbours now and I should be ashamed to show my face for a while. Going to be up all night worrying about this.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 15/05/2023 21:31

Eh? There was no damage? So nothing happened did it?

a neighbour ‘saw’ saw what if there was no damage?

good grief don’t be up all night worrying about people who insist on treating you like a naughty child.

Spookysnake · 15/05/2023 21:31

Just go and apologise nicely; these things happen, and no one was hurt. Tell your husband to take a chill pill and cut you some slack. Now get some sleep!

Wolfiefan · 15/05/2023 21:33

Sounds like your husband is the real problem. Does he often lecture and berate you? What exactly are you supposed to be so ashamed of??

Dotcheck · 15/05/2023 21:33

There’s no damage? As in, you can’t tell it’s been hit?

Shadowworry · 15/05/2023 21:33

What the neighbour saw was no damage

Original poster
Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:34

Yes there's no visible damage, I should still have stopped and let the neighbour know it had happened though

OP posts:
OddSockSeeker · 15/05/2023 21:34

My 11 year som likes to read these with me. He said to tell you you’re only human and it’s no big deal. 😘

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/05/2023 21:35

If there’s no damage to either car then what’s the problem?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/05/2023 21:36

Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:34

Yes there's no visible damage, I should still have stopped and let the neighbour know it had happened though

Well yes, you drove off without checking if there was damage. That's what their disappointed in. If you'd actually done damage and no one had seen, would you have owned up?

inappropriateraspberry · 15/05/2023 21:36

Tell a little white lie. Say you saw there was no damage, couldn't stop as you had an appointment and was going to talk to you tonight/tomorrow about it and apologise.

FiveShelties · 15/05/2023 21:36

How can anyone be upset about this when there is no damage.

The 'what if it was a child' is ridiculous.

I have no idea how you can apologise for not doing anything.

QueenAstrid · 15/05/2023 21:36

I’d just go round and's say that you didn’t think you hit the car because you didn’t feel a bump, but if the other neighbour said you did then you must have and you’re glad there’s no harm done. Act surprised about it.

Spookysnake · 15/05/2023 21:37

Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:34

Yes there's no visible damage, I should still have stopped and let the neighbour know it had happened though

You should, but you didn't; however, you're stuck living next to each other so just offer up a full apology and maybe throw in some flowers. You didn't murder their cat or pee on their dahlias.

Original poster
Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:37

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/05/2023 21:35

If there’s no damage to either car then what’s the problem?

The problem is that I knew I'd made contact and didn't stop to let the neighbour know. I think of I'd done that it would have been a "these things happen" situation but as I thought I'd got away with it and drove off I now look irresponsible and like I don't care about someone else's property

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 15/05/2023 21:37

If there is no damage then surely you can just claim you hadn’t realised it had made contact.
Just apologise.

FictionalCharacter · 15/05/2023 21:38

Why does your husband think he has the right to tell you off like a child? And why don’t you tell him you won’t accept being spoken to that way?

FiveShelties · 15/05/2023 21:39

I cannot imagine knocking on someone's door to say 'I just thought I would let you know that I have not damaged your car'.

Branster · 15/05/2023 21:39

OddSockSeeker · 15/05/2023 21:34

My 11 year som likes to read these with me. He said to tell you you’re only human and it’s no big deal. 😘

Your son is a very wise boy!

SeriouslyStressed · 15/05/2023 21:40

Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:34

Yes there's no visible damage, I should still have stopped and let the neighbour know it had happened though

No, there was no need to let anyone know anything. If you stumbled into your neighbours shrub and caused no damage to the shrub would you knock the door and tell them?

Your husband is clearly very fixated on what the neighbours think - he IBU

moodoperator · 15/05/2023 21:40

FiveShelties · 15/05/2023 21:39

I cannot imagine knocking on someone's door to say 'I just thought I would let you know that I have not damaged your car'.

Technically you need to do this every day for the rest of your life

Usetherightgearforthehill · 15/05/2023 21:40

If you didnt feel anything then say that. Apologise and say you didnt feel anything so you didnt realized you had hit their car but you are very sorry.

Tbh if you didnt feel anything and theres no damage to the neighbours car unless the other neighbour was stood right next to it how do they know whether you got right up to it or just next to it?

And as for your DHs what if a child was there he is being ridiculous. If he reverses the same whether he's going towards a small unpredictable child that might move at any moment or a stationery car then that says more about him than you and is a stupid leap of logic.

Dryshampoofordays · 15/05/2023 21:41

I wouldn’t be apologising for their disappointment that my car lightly touched their car with no damage caused. No harm done, their problem if they want to be arsey about it. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you didn’t feel a bump and knew it was fine so went about your day! Sounds like a nosy neighbour problem and your husband sounds quite dramatic.

happylittletree · 15/05/2023 21:41

I'm bothered by the lecture from your husband. It sounds like no harm was done, just like you thought to start with. Why are you supposed to apologise for this?

VioletPickles · 15/05/2023 21:41

FiveShelties · 15/05/2023 21:39

I cannot imagine knocking on someone's door to say 'I just thought I would let you know that I have not damaged your car'.

This. No damage, no problem.

Original poster
Lavenderleopard · 15/05/2023 21:41

Me and my husband are going through a rough patch anyway and I think this is just another example of me making stupid unnecessary mistakes (I have a 3 month old and am constantly sleep deprived, not an excuse but an explanation) which is why it's bothering me. I keep doing little things which make both our lives harder and I don't know how to stop it.

OP posts: