Hit neighbours car and drove off

[Lavenderleopard]

Yes I know I'm a idiot, I just need someone who isn't my husband to talk this through with.
So this evening as I reversed out my drive the back of my car made contact with my neighbours car which had been parked across the street. I knew that the cars had touched but really thought it was nothing, no noise when it happened, didn't feel anything in my car, only knew because I saw how close the other car was when I looked in the rearview mirror. As I thought (stupidly) nothing had happened I drove off.
Another neighbour saw what happened and told the neighbour who's car I hit. This neighbour then went round to my house when I was out and spoke to my husband about it. I have had the lecture on how immature I was and "what if it had been a child" from my husband and feel suitably awful. I am planning on going round to apologise in the morning.
How am I best to approach this? I feel like being honest and saying I didn't think I'd done any damage won't go down well. My husband says they weren't angry and don't want any money (their car wasn't damaged) it was a more of a "we're disappointed" sort of thing. My husband has told me I've embarrassed our family in front of the neighbours now and I should be ashamed to show my face for a while. Going to be up all night worrying about this.

Oh god, the purse, last week I went to get petrol. Drove a fair distance to the cheapest place, filled up
id not even bought my purse.
shop lady and me had a good laugh about “menopausal brains” while I filled in “stupid woman “ form
but then I wasted all the money I’d saved on cheaper petrol by having to do an immediate round trip in the car home and back again 🤦‍♀️
by that time a bloke was on the till, and made jolly sure everyone standing at tills had a good laugh about ..hey ho!

Probably your neighbour just wanted you to be aware so you can be more aware of their car being there in future. Just go and apologise and tell them you will take more care in future. It's not a big deal. Just learn from it. DH's reaction is way over the top.

I really don't think you hit it. I reversed into my wall a couple of days ago. Edged back slightly too far, caused no damage at all, but I felt it alright. If you didn't hear or feel anything and there's no visible damage to either car, why does your other neighbour think you hit it? They must have been even further away than you, surely?

I'm also doubtful that you hit it if you didn't feel anything. How close was nosy neighbour who supposedly saw this? Unless he was exactly lined up with the right angle I'm not sure he could tell whether you made contact or were just close.

PS your husband sounds like a dick.

Why does your husband think he's better than you?
Your human and that's ok - you don't need to feel bad so your husband can feel better about his own shitty self.

Do you have a Ring doorbell? Because I don't quite believe your husband's account of this. It sounds like he usually makes you believe that things are your fault? Why do you believe him when he says that?

None of these phrases are normal, sane things to say to a partner:
"what if it had been a child" (it wasn't)
"embarrassed our family" (lol nah)
"should be ashamed to show my face" (wtf? ott)

The nappies haven't run out, they've nearly run out. Comparing that to, say, loo roll - Lots of people leave loo roll buying until the last roll, it's nothing usual!

Take a box of chocolates, apologise, thank them for being understanding.

Give baby to your partner overnight and sleep.

Sorry- I know you already feel bad- but you knew the cars had 'touched' so you really were obligated to check if there was any damage then, and let the neighbour know.

“I am so, so sorry. I am beyond tired and I panicked. When I had more time to think and to calm down I was coming around immediately to tell you.” Bottle of wine. Some flowers.

Practice this line to say to your husband as appropriate.... 'FUCK OFF'.

^^ ahh I hadn’t read about your husband. Does he usually talk down to you? Make you feel worthless?

That. There's no damage at all, so it's entirely reasonable that no bump would be felt.

I'd do this!

It's called sleep deprivation op. You aren't doing anything to annoy your husband nor is there anything you need to fix. He could actually be supportive and helpful and empathic though, instead of grade A cunt.

I actually don’t believe your husband, my dock head ex used to make things up as an excuse to have a go at me, gaslight me or make me feel stupid and yours sound just like him.
Also cut yourself some slack, I’ve a 3 month old who actually sleeps brilliantly, however I still never buy nappies till we’re almost run out, shock horror my partner even has to go and get them which is probably a good thing because last lot I purchased I picked up in a size too small!

So first of all we have (as quoted from PP) 'I just thought I would let you know that I have not damaged your car'.
And now we have "sorry we didn't run out of nappies"??

Tell your husband to fuck off.

You’re in one of the hardest stages of motherhood, quite recently post partum (three months seem like a lot but it really isn’t) and instead of support you, your husband is trying to shame you over this? What a dickhead. And so is your other neighbor who immediately went to tell on you. They should have approached you first or stay out of it all together.

@Lavenderleopard

I have a 3 month old and am constantly sleep deprived,

Cut yourself some slack OP. There was no damage to the vehicle and, no doubt, if there was more to it you'd crave stopped anyway wouldn't you? Your husband could be more supportive of you than he seems to be... 🌹

Meh, I'd ignore DH and would I fuck be apologising to the neighbours for not letting them know I hadn't damaged their car 🙄

This

Our neighbours once hit our car. It was early in the morning and they told us in the evening has they hadn't wanted to wake us. It was a bit of banger. We didn't care. But it was honest if them to tell us and I respect them for that.

Can you just go and apologise.

It’s the fact you made contact didn’t get out on check so for all you know you could of damaged it and fucked off
id be mortified like your DH I think the best you can do is lie and say you didn’t realise and go and check it with them

Terrible advice OP.

You didn't think you hit it so didn't get out of the car.

Show up, say: I understand X neighbour thinks I hit your car.

I was in the car.

I didn't feel anything so I honestly believed I hadn't hit it. I believed this because there was no feeling of contact.

Since I hadn't hit it, there was nothing to tell you.

I could see from the driver seat there was no damage.

Sorry that X alerted you to something that didn't happen, I'm sure they were being helpful.

Hope you have a nice day!

Then tell husband to step up, do the shopping, cooking and some night feeds.
And ignore people shaming you.

I wouldn't have gone around to tell someone that I hadn't damaged their car with the bump I didn't feel either.

Sleep deprivation is the pits. I left the keys dangling in the front door on the outside of our home when I just had ds, keys with the car keys attached, in a not particularly crime free part of town - after coming in with ds, all his baby gear and all of the shopping. The postman, who was a good egg, knocked on the door to let me know what he found and handed me them back. Later that week, when I did the same thing, he just quietly posted them back through the letter box. 😳

Despite the huge potential consequences, nobody shouted at me. Not once. Dh was concerned about how shattered I was and what else he could do to help.