Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Noisy hot tub sex session

110 replies

Claire1200 · 15/05/2023 19:44

Our neighbours two doors down were in their hot tub at 6.30 this evening when they started having incredibly loud sex for about 15 minutes (primarily her moaning 'oh god' leading up to her pretty much screaming). We were in the garden with our 4 year old and had to take him inside as he was asking a lot of questions about the sounds. I'm quite disgusted that someone would think that acceptable at a family friendly time of day. A friend suggested an anonymous note telling them I don't wish to be involved in their sex life, but they have a ring doorbell so it wouldn't be very anonymous. How do I get the message across for them to get a room without causing red faces all round?

OP posts:
littleripper · 15/05/2023 20:43

When we lived in a bedsitter screaming marks out of 10 was the usual form 😂

ShimmeringShirts · 15/05/2023 20:47

Oh Christ that’s vile.

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 15/05/2023 20:52

Our ndn was going at it so fast we thought he was building flat packed furniture.. Sent him via what's app link to All Night Long..
We mentioned it to his dps. They were home but downstairs.
He moved out that week end

Starshine08 · 15/05/2023 21:00

Has this issue with neighbour, tried to casually tell her noise travels, she didn't get the message, just went round and told her in the end, now I no longer hear her!

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 15/05/2023 21:01

Truly this is the single and only reason I will NEVER hire any accommodation that proudly promotes a hot tub. Good god knows what has been in there!

Ifailed · 15/05/2023 21:05

Copulating in a sex pond at tea time? I suspect it was a set-up to piss their neighbours off.

Kona84 · 15/05/2023 21:05

It is actually something you can report to the police-
Having sex in the garden could result in arrest for breaches relating to outraging public decency which is contrary to the common law.

A person would also be in breach of the Public Order Act 1986 if the sexual act causes alarm or distress to members of the public.
‘It is also an offence to expose one’s genitals intentionally, which is contrary to the Sexual Offences Act 2003.
‘Whether a prosecution will follow from having sex in the garden will likely turn on how exposed or secluded the garden is to members of the public.
‘If a neighbour has sufficient evidence, this could potentially result in a prosecution.’

planthelpadvice · 15/05/2023 21:12

TFMinx · 15/05/2023 20:16

Wait until the end and shout, "She's faking it!"

Or the 'When Harry Met Sally' classic "I'll have what she's having" 😁

Castleintheclouds · 15/05/2023 21:17

Shouting "you sound like a seal" worked for me.

Original poster
Claire1200 · 15/05/2023 21:27

@Kona84 I did wonder if it was an offence and I also wondered how we would gather evidence without looking like perverts (i.e. filming it 🤣)

OP posts:
Mostar · 15/05/2023 21:30

TFMinx · 15/05/2023 20:16

Wait until the end and shout, "She's faking it!"

Brilliant!

Cas112 · 15/05/2023 21:31

TheSpottedZebra · 15/05/2023 19:48

Send a letter through the post?
Change your WiFi name to loudshaggers@no23

Hahah please do this

Ellie56 · 15/05/2023 21:42

TFMinx · 15/05/2023 20:16

Wait until the end and shout, "She's faking it!"

Grin Grin

DannyZukosSmile · 15/05/2023 21:48

@ItsCalledAConversation

Yes just make loud “we can hear you” noises. I’ve been overheard/seen (on holiday - DH and I forgot to close the room door) and a loud wolf whistle from the corridor drew it to our attention - eventually! It’s all in good fun, your DS won’t be scarred for life. Applause and playing something sexy (You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals.)

🤮

'All good fun' letting people hear your attention-seeking shagging noises? Confused

Grim.

AS.

FUCK!

And why would you suggest it's OK for a small child to hear you fucking? On what planet is this acceptable?

What fresh hell is this? Shock

@Claire1200 OP, as a few posters have suggested, start clapping and cheering, at these ludicrous attention-seeking twats. If it continues, I would think about reporting it (as a pp suggested,) as this is against the law.

Thursdayschild1 · 15/05/2023 21:51

Treasureboxkey · 15/05/2023 20:33

I was going to suggest a drone. One of those fuckers hovering overhead would put you right off your breaststroke.

🤣🤣

moomoolander · 15/05/2023 21:53

Hilarious, following 😂

Coffeeandcards · 15/05/2023 21:57

corlan · 15/05/2023 20:00

Get your party speaker out and play 'Je t'aime ' next time they're at it.

Love this 😁

Otherwise I’d go for changing your wifi network to something like “stopshagginginyourhottub”

MenoRageisReal · 15/05/2023 21:59

Freepo · 15/05/2023 20:18

I wouldn’t worry as I imagine she will shortly be out of action with a nasty bout of thrush after that session. Sex in a hot tub is grim!

That's just what I was thinking - my fanny went NO THANKS to the idea of warm tub bacteria rammed up there!

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 15/05/2023 22:22

Anyone that has loud perfomative sex is getting off making people uncomfortable imo.

PoorlyDS · 15/05/2023 22:22

Please please change your WiFi name. Please. I need a laugh

PoorlyDS · 15/05/2023 22:24

We heard someone across the courtyard of a london warehouse flat one warm evening (all windows open). We have a round of applause when she finished. It wen my suddenly very very quiet with them some stifled laughter from other flats also listening

Houseplantmad · 15/05/2023 22:28

Eddielizzard · 15/05/2023 19:47

Start moaning in the offbeats

Genius!

PinkButtercups · 15/05/2023 22:31

Maybe they might apologise and invite the neighbours for a hot tub party. Get your pampas grass ready.

Notamum12345577 · 15/05/2023 22:33

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 15/05/2023 22:22

Anyone that has loud perfomative sex is getting off making people uncomfortable imo.

Some women are just noisy and can’t help it. Not that I’m condoning doing it/being that loud at 6:30 in the garden!

Hopelesslydevotedtoshrews · 15/05/2023 22:34

For anyone that's missed bashing their pans for the NHS, this is your moment. Alert the rest of the neighbourhood. Someone's still got a vuvusela knocking about surely.