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Original poster

Ex has a surprise for me tomorrow, what could it be?

343 replies

BigWheels · 12/05/2023 17:45

Ex had just left after spending a few hours with our son. On his way out he told us he has a surprise for us tomorrow morning and he will be coming to pick us up at 6.15am. He wasnt giving much away and I hate surprises so I'm desperate to know. Does anyone have any ideas?

Only information I have is that we have to leave at 6.15, its a long car journey and we can have breakfast once we get there.

I've known the guy for 10 years and he has never organised anything like this before. He's a hopeless gift giver so I'm more than a bit apprehensive. Not my birthday for another 2 months and our sons birthday was in February so nothing to celebrate.

I have previously expressed interest in a hot air balloon trip and because of the early start and long car journey I'm thinking maybe its that? But son is still too young for the trip and weather isn't looking great so I have my doubts about the hot air balloon theory. What could it be?

OP posts:
Bathroomlove · 13/05/2023 18:05

@BigWheels What a lovely surprise! Was the balloon ride anything like you thought it would be? Was your DS ok watching you floating away??

Pegsandsunshine · 13/05/2023 18:26

Mirabai · 13/05/2023 15:31

There speaks someone with no awareness of the emotional entanglements people get themselves into.

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There speaks someone who clearly projects their own entaglement onto other people.

Mirabai · 13/05/2023 18:49

Pegsandsunshine · 13/05/2023 18:26

There speaks someone who clearly projects their own entaglement onto other people.

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I’m not in any entanglements but thanks for the laugh.

Chellybelle · 13/05/2023 18:50

This reply has been deleted

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adriftinadenofvipers · 13/05/2023 19:00

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Your 'opinion' stinks. I think you need to look up the meaning of the word 'bully' because you clearly don't understand that either.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/05/2023 19:04

How was the balloon 🎈 ride OP?

GirlOfTudor · 13/05/2023 19:20

Wow that's lovely!! If only everyone could have such a positive relationship with their ex!

fryanddry · 13/05/2023 20:00

Womencanlift · 13/05/2023 17:50

She is not just an ex. She is the mother of his child and maybe he wanted to recognise that and thank her for the job she does

It shows that they are both mature people. There would be a lot less fucked up children (who then grow up to be fucked up adults) if ex’s co-parented in this way rather than the way it seems to be going by a lot of threads on here

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Still weird, he has a pregnant girlfriend at home , why is he taking his ex on hot air balloon surprises, a simple mothers day card would have been ok

MarnieCres · 13/05/2023 20:52

fryanddry · 13/05/2023 20:00

Still weird, he has a pregnant girlfriend at home , why is he taking his ex on hot air balloon surprises, a simple mothers day card would have been ok

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Wife and baby...

fryanddry · 13/05/2023 21:31

MarnieCres · 13/05/2023 20:52

Wife and baby...

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well thats even worse ..
when your ex starts acting out of character, being super nice to you , putting effort into "surprising you", hes probably testing the waters ..
maybe not enjoying being at home with his wife and baby and now hes idealising the life he used to have with OP,
JUST MY OPINION

Liorae · 13/05/2023 21:56

Is it so difficult to understand that a couple who were once married could remain friends? And that the OP's ex might be able to accept that, being an adult herself?

Nobody involved is a teenage drama llama.

Liorae · 13/05/2023 21:58

Ex's wife I mean.

ThatFraggle · 13/05/2023 22:04

Liorae · 13/05/2023 21:56

Is it so difficult to understand that a couple who were once married could remain friends? And that the OP's ex might be able to accept that, being an adult herself?

Nobody involved is a teenage drama llama.

It's one thing to be friendly co-parents.

Being whisked away for 6am surprises is something else.

BadNomad · 13/05/2023 22:11

Not many people would be happy with their husbands leaving them home on Saturday with their new baby to go take a female colleague for a treat, never mind someone they have an intimate history with. It is not his job to arrange surprises like that for her. They have a young son together so these aren't people who have been separated a long time and co-parented peacefully for many years. It really shows a lack of boundaries for both of them.

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:12

ThatFraggle · 13/05/2023 22:04

It's one thing to be friendly co-parents.

Being whisked away for 6am surprises is something else.

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Not to adults who are secure in their relationships in my experience. Mumsnet is a different world where woman live in perpetual fear of other women.

ThatFraggle · 13/05/2023 22:22

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:12

Not to adults who are secure in their relationships in my experience. Mumsnet is a different world where woman live in perpetual fear of other women.

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It's not fear of other women.

It's poor boundaries. The romantic relationship has ended, and it is now a co-parenting relationship.

Mirabai · 13/05/2023 22:22

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:12

Not to adults who are secure in their relationships in my experience. Mumsnet is a different world where woman live in perpetual fear of other women.

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There is no OW in this scenario. There’s a married, rubbish gift giver, organising something he never did anything like when they were together, for which he has to get up at half 5 on a Saturday morning.

I’d say he wants something, or he’s got second thoughts about new wife + baby.

Only on MN do women believe everything men say!

fryanddry · 13/05/2023 22:23

Mirabai · 13/05/2023 22:22

There is no OW in this scenario. There’s a married, rubbish gift giver, organising something he never did anything like when they were together, for which he has to get up at half 5 on a Saturday morning.

I’d say he wants something, or he’s got second thoughts about new wife + baby.

Only on MN do women believe everything men say!

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nailed it

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:37

Mirabai · 13/05/2023 22:22

There is no OW in this scenario. There’s a married, rubbish gift giver, organising something he never did anything like when they were together, for which he has to get up at half 5 on a Saturday morning.

I’d say he wants something, or he’s got second thoughts about new wife + baby.

Only on MN do women believe everything men say!

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On Mumsnet every woman a man speaks to or has a friendship with is a threat. I mean all women in general when i say other women. I haven't come across this in real life.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 13/05/2023 22:42

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:37

On Mumsnet every woman a man speaks to or has a friendship with is a threat. I mean all women in general when i say other women. I haven't come across this in real life.

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So would you be OK with your husband taking his ex out on a date

BadNomad · 13/05/2023 22:46

I'd be asking myself "Why is he doing something like this now when he's never bothered before?" What has changed...oh new baby. One of the most stressful times in your life is the early years with children right? But maybe it is just a coincidence that he's now suddenly making an effort with ex. 🙄

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:47

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 13/05/2023 22:42

So would you be OK with your husband taking his ex out on a date

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On a hot air balloon ride while he had breakfast with hid child? Absolutely. I trust him. I have done for the 28 years we've been married and never felt the need to police his friendships or activities.

SweetSakura · 13/05/2023 22:48

*It's not fear of other women.

It's poor boundaries. The romantic relationship has ended, and it is now a co-parenting relationship.*

This.

He should have sensible boundaries with his ex to protect his relationship with his wife. Seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 13/05/2023 22:53

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:47

On a hot air balloon ride while he had breakfast with hid child? Absolutely. I trust him. I have done for the 28 years we've been married and never felt the need to police his friendships or activities.

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Don't you think he should be doing these things with his actual wife.

Liorae · 13/05/2023 22:59

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 13/05/2023 22:53

Don't you think he should be doing these things with his actual wife.

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Not if she's not into it. Being married doesn't mean you are only allowed to do things with your spouse.

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