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Original poster

Your worst faux pas

361 replies

AtChoService · 02/05/2023 08:32

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬

I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line.

The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things.

I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴

I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 02/05/2023 12:48

DeoForty · 02/05/2023 12:09

Years ago when I was a scout leader, the cub leader's close relative was killed in a horrific accident. She was off for a while, on the night she came back we had a joint evening of cubs and scouts together with a 'campfire' theme. We are all sitting in a circle when one of the cubs suggests 'He Jumped Without a Parachute'. We all launched into it enthusiastically before realising it was massively, massively inappropriate. The kids were none the wiser but none of the leaders could look at each other. Verse after verse. Awful. (Those unfamiliar can google the words). I still feel slightly hysterical when I think about it and it was over 20 years ago.

Oh God, that is truly awful.
That poor person, I wonder if she thought it was deliberate.

TheShade · 02/05/2023 12:49

MadeInChorley · 02/05/2023 10:18

Years ago I had a fling (can’t think of a better way of putting it) one summer
with a guy. He was handsome, posh, rich, funny, arrogant and an unreliable waste of space. Proper Daniel Cleaver type. Lasted a couple of months before he went cold.

I moved to London, started a graduate job and met a whole bunch of new people in my industry. One night in the pub I heard a girl in our group talking loudly about “Bob Smith”.

Me - “Oh, I know someone called Bob Smith too!” I said chattily, waving my wine glass around. “Is he tall, blonde, good looking, lives in Oxfordshire, likes skiing and drives a vintage red MG?”

Girl - (icy stare) “Yes. Do you know him?”

Me - (blithely ignorant, merrily) “Oh, ha ha! That’s such a coincidence! Yeah, I had a thing with him in the summer! Sex mainly. He took me to a boutique hotel in Yorkshire for a mini break in that sports car if his. My flat mate’s brother went to school with him. He’s a total shit though. How do you know Bob?”

Girl - (pointing at huge diamond ring) “He’s my fiancé”

I had no idea Bob wasn’t single.

This is gold!

catmothertes1 · 02/05/2023 12:50

Lat 80s,picking up my boyfriend's best friend from his house and having a cup of tea with his family. Coronation Street was on and Jim McDonald was having a fight with Liz which got quite physical. I opened my mouth and said "what do you expect,he used to be in the army!". Then realised,the friend's father used to be in the army and his brother,also there,was in the army. Oops. I still think about it!

buttercupss · 02/05/2023 12:52

I met an old friend after years and met her children who had grown considerably since I last saw them. Without thinking I said they looked like her brother (they were like exact images of him when young to be fair) which seemed to cause many blushes. I really wasn't implying incest! To be taken as a family resemblance surely.

carrotcaketop · 02/05/2023 12:53

Went to church one palm sunday and we go on a walkabout. At a noisy road, the minister shouts to me 'can you help Stewart', waving his arm towards this older guy. I looked at the man a little surprised because he didn't look that old or wobbly, but took his arm anyway. He gave me a very peculiar look as we crossed the road together. Some moments later, I registered what the minister had meant. oohhhh, help steward.

TheShellBeach · 02/05/2023 12:54

I'm amazed at the number of people who've got into random cars by mistake.
Grin

Whataretalkingabout · 02/05/2023 12:55

Was celebrating a distant family member's 50th birthday in the east of France. The immediate family members had dressed up in traditional Alsacian costumes (complete with lederhosen and dark green wool hats) and were performing traditional music.
I was stood talking to a couple while enjoying the long aperitif and music before dinner. After one too many glasses of Riesling or Appenzeller I commented that the lead singer whom I hadn't seen in 20 years had REALLY aged! And also that he should " lose" the Adolf H---- mustache. Yes the woman it turned out was his wife!

Mortification.

Luckily I only see them once in a blue moon.

WakeMeUpInspring · 02/05/2023 12:56

dragonbreaths · 02/05/2023 12:01

I was on the tube years ago, chatting away to my lovely new boyfriend. As I chatted, I was stroking his thigh. I looked up and suddenly caught the eyes of my boyfriend ... standing in the aisle and glaring at me.

I was sat next to a complete stranger, who looked absolutely mortified. I couldn't apologise enough to him.

Cracking up 😂😂😂😂😂

Abouttoblow · 02/05/2023 13:04

OneMistakeAfterAnother · 02/05/2023 10:01

I temporarily worked for a company called Harry Fairbairn, only I kept getting tongue tied when people called and saying "Hello. Hairy Farnbarn. I just couldn't help it. Who knows what sort of establishment they thought they'd called instead of a car dealership?

This is where I buy my cars from. I'm going to laugh any time I call them now 🤣

LittleMrsPerfect · 02/05/2023 13:06

when I was at uni 10 plus years ago and meeting my BF in Starbucks. He brought the drinks to the table and he didn’t get a straw, I went to get one as it was just behind us and carried on the conversation as BF could still hear me as the condiment table was so close.

I return to the table and started to place my straw in my drink only to realise “thats not my drink” I look up and opposite me is a complete stranger giving me the oddest look. I apologised and went to the next table along to sit with my BF.

BluebellBlueballs · 02/05/2023 13:07

Had one the other day
Was talking about how I'd develop a strategy (HR) in line with his (ceo) strategy by getting to know the business inside out etc.

Then I said, I'd do all my activity to help you do what you want to do, which is make money.

He gave a weird nervous laugh and I realised he must have thought I meant his personal money, like his bonus.

I meant the company, should have said 'run a successful business ' or something

But the nervous laugh he gave was awesome

Haven't heard if I got the job yet but I reckon that killed it

BluebellBlueballs · 02/05/2023 13:07

Awkward not awesome

Ohmych · 02/05/2023 13:13

I've almost got into the wrong car too! My car was in the garage and a colleague was going to pick me up from the bus stop at 5am to go to work. I get to the bus stop and there's a car in there so I go to open the door and they drive forward, I walk back to the car and open the door and see a man who is not my colleague! I just said oh sorry and shut the door.

DoesItHaveKosovo · 02/05/2023 13:22

Kitsmummy · 02/05/2023 11:56

When I worked at a PR company, one of the account managers told me her nickname was "sheepdog". I said "oh, is that because of your (wild and bushy) hair?".

She said "No, it's because I run the sheepdog account"

😬

Ha! Absolute cringe

Pudmyboy · 02/05/2023 13:27

OneMistakeAfterAnother · 02/05/2023 10:01

I temporarily worked for a company called Harry Fairbairn, only I kept getting tongue tied when people called and saying "Hello. Hairy Farnbarn. I just couldn't help it. Who knows what sort of establishment they thought they'd called instead of a car dealership?

@OneMistakeAfterAnother this really made me laugh!
Reminded me of Mrs Doyle in Father Ted when she is guessing Ted Unctuous 's name!😂

Iloveabaconbutty · 02/05/2023 13:28

This has happened two or three times over the years. Nothing major and not technically a faux pas but leaves you feeling a bit of a berk.

I'm walking along the pavement and a car approaches in my direction. The horn gives a friendly toot and I see a hand waving from within. I can't see the face and so I've no idea who it is but assume it must be a friend or acquaintance who has spotted me and is giving me a wave. So I smile broadly and wave back.

Only to realise that the smile and the wave weren't for me at all but for person who was walking just behind me.....

mosiacmaker · 02/05/2023 13:30

buttercupss · 02/05/2023 12:52

I met an old friend after years and met her children who had grown considerably since I last saw them. Without thinking I said they looked like her brother (they were like exact images of him when young to be fair) which seemed to cause many blushes. I really wasn't implying incest! To be taken as a family resemblance surely.

🤣🤣that was definitely them being weird? Maybe you uncovered the family secret

Tiredmum100 · 02/05/2023 13:34

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 02/05/2023 11:02

A friend of mine used to help out a disabled neighbour. We were going out for the afternoon once and she asked if I’d mind if we took him for a drink first, as he didn’t get out much.

I can’t actually remember the name of the condition, but it was degenerative and made it very difficult for him to walk. He was very chatty and told me how much he loved going to the pub as he was a big drinker, boasting about how many pints he could put away. I said “Wow, you must have hollow legs!”

When I realised what I’d said I began praying I’d drop dead.

I'm a nurse, one day I was dressings someone's amputation of toes site. I wanted to change the dressing regime, but as it was the first time I'd et him I was chatting to him about the wound generally, then suggested the changes I make, just needed to check a few things, then said "I don't want to to stepping on anyones toes." 🤦‍♀️ They saw the funny side and called me a cheeky bugger. 😳

Anoisagusaris · 02/05/2023 13:35

TheShade · 02/05/2023 12:49

This is gold!

Show quote history

Probably a sign you shouldn’t really discuss your sex life in public with people you don’t really know.

Anoisagusaris · 02/05/2023 13:37

MadeInChorley · 02/05/2023 10:18

Years ago I had a fling (can’t think of a better way of putting it) one summer
with a guy. He was handsome, posh, rich, funny, arrogant and an unreliable waste of space. Proper Daniel Cleaver type. Lasted a couple of months before he went cold.

I moved to London, started a graduate job and met a whole bunch of new people in my industry. One night in the pub I heard a girl in our group talking loudly about “Bob Smith”.

Me - “Oh, I know someone called Bob Smith too!” I said chattily, waving my wine glass around. “Is he tall, blonde, good looking, lives in Oxfordshire, likes skiing and drives a vintage red MG?”

Girl - (icy stare) “Yes. Do you know him?”

Me - (blithely ignorant, merrily) “Oh, ha ha! That’s such a coincidence! Yeah, I had a thing with him in the summer! Sex mainly. He took me to a boutique hotel in Yorkshire for a mini break in that sports car if his. My flat mate’s brother went to school with him. He’s a total shit though. How do you know Bob?”

Girl - (pointing at huge diamond ring) “He’s my fiancé”

I had no idea Bob wasn’t single.

Sorry, this was the post I was referring to.

ArDi · 02/05/2023 13:50

I was chatting to a colleague of my DH, who was telling us he had a new girlfriend, who had been at the same university as DH and had been involved in rowing, as had DH. I said, "All the girls who did rowing were sex mad. Do you remember Sally Jones DH? She was always staring at your groin and trying to snog you at parties"... "Yes", said DH and proceeded with further assassinating the character of Sally Jones.

Well, you can guess when we'd finished out little side conversation and asked the colleague what his new girlfriend's name was, what he said.

Iseeadarkness · 02/05/2023 13:52

When I was in secondary school I had to get a public bus and travel an hour each way. My mum told me to ask the bus driver for a new timetable as she knew it had been changed recently.

Now I was a painfully shy and awkward young teenager so the whole journey was spent rehearsing this request to myself. I waited until everyone had got off the bus at school, summoned all my courage, stood in front of the driver and quietly asked “have you got any digestives?”.

He stared in confusion. I stared in abject horror. This went on for what felt like minutes (in reality, probably only seconds) until I ran off the bus, cheeks scarlet with neither a timetable nor a biscuit in my sweaty hands.

Devpatelslaughingeyes · 02/05/2023 14:07

We were 16 my friend and I and we shared lots of the silly jokey banter that kids do. This was in the days before the mobile phone had been invented and, in fact, few people had a telephone in their house. The internet, whatsapp, email, and texts were a million light years away so when we hadn’t seen each other for a short while we used to write letters. Anyway, I think a week or so had gone by with no contact so I wrote to her ‘ haven’t heard from you in a while. You’re not dead are you?
She was. Killed in a scooter accident at 16.

Honestly, it was the sort of silly thing we used to say to each other all the time but I’ve never forgiven myself for that letter or the pain it must have caused her parents. As faux pas go that was a big one.

Passelevin · 02/05/2023 14:19

A play date one : the father coming to pick up his daughter in the evening, he came with a woman who looked older, I assumed it was his mum..so I said, Bella, daddy is here with your grandma, she was his sister 🤦🏻‍♀️. I cringed so much

Bornin1989 · 02/05/2023 14:20

In my early twenties I worked in admin for a charity and part of the job was showing new recruits around the site and introducing them to staff members. There was one member of staff that I had always got a feeling she didn't like me and I had no idea why as we didn't really interact much. I'd known her for about two years.

Anyway, one recruit I was showing around, we go to this woman's office and I was like "This is Anne, head of accounts, this is Betty, her assistant and this is....." and her name just vanished out of my head. Completely. And I was like "Oh I'm so sorry, my mind has drawn a blank!". In front of everyone, I felt SOOO embarassed!