Page 6 | Your worst faux pas

AtChoService · 2023-05-02T07:32:02+00:00

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬 I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line. The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things. I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴 I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

DahliaMacNamara · 02/05/2023 17:03

elevenplusdilemma · 02/05/2023 12:34

Getting into a car when I assumed the driver had pulled up alongside me to offer me a lift. It was the mother of a friend of mine. We were 12 or 13 and I thought it a bit odd that she'd stop to offer me a lift to school when her own daughter was walking. Turns out she hadn't stopped to pick me up - there were temporary traffic lights and she was stuck in traffic 😂. I didn't realise this until I was sat in the car with the driver and passenger (my friend's gran) looking a bit surprised.

I stopped short of actually getting into the car, but, yeah, been there. I'd become used to getting lifts down the hill to school from other parents who kindly stopped when they recognised me if the weather was bad, even if they didn't know me that well, and I thought the parents at DC's new school after we'd moved house were carrying on that fine tradition.
Well, they weren't. Someone stopped their car at the bottom of the road and called 'Fancy a lift?', but it wasn't directed at me. They meant their friend who was walking behind me, not this randomer. They made this very clear as I bounced eagerly across the wet grass, and I slunk away as they drove off, presumably asking each other who the weirdo was.

Arginalia · 02/05/2023 17:03

buttercupss · 02/05/2023 12:46

Not really a faux pas as such but your story reminded me @AtChoService

Years ago. Buffet breakfast where everything piled on plates. Came to a plate of scotch pancakes, piled high, around 14-20. Took two off the plate and a woman exclaimed loudly that it was her plate and they were all for her, and asked for them back.

I always eat heartily at buffet breakfasts, but 14 - 20 scotch pancakes is a bit excessive by any standards.

JustDanceAddict · 02/05/2023 17:07

Devpatelslaughingeyes · 02/05/2023 14:07

We were 16 my friend and I and we shared lots of the silly jokey banter that kids do. This was in the days before the mobile phone had been invented and, in fact, few people had a telephone in their house. The internet, whatsapp, email, and texts were a million light years away so when we hadn’t seen each other for a short while we used to write letters. Anyway, I think a week or so had gone by with no contact so I wrote to her ‘ haven’t heard from you in a while. You’re not dead are you?
She was. Killed in a scooter accident at 16.

Honestly, it was the sort of silly thing we used to say to each other all the time but I’ve never forgiven myself for that letter or the pain it must have caused her parents. As faux pas go that was a big one.

Omg. 🤦‍♀️ 😢

SirVixofVixHall · 02/05/2023 17:16

stbrandonsboat · 02/05/2023 11:24

I once asked the sex of someone's baby. It was sitting in a white dress covered in pink rosebuds and quite obviously a girl 🤦

This happened to me with my baby , also in a rosebud covered white dress. Maybe it was me ! I still find it funny.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/05/2023 17:19

My worst was asking a woman sitting with a lovely baby about her dd, she explained that the baby was actually her granddaughter. I then turned to the woman with her and said, “Oh ! Are you the Great Grandmother ? “ . Icy silence and a hurried “oh no this is my friend” from woman number one. I still cringe at this. The first woman did look much younger than her age, her friend looked her age but not older, I had just got confused with the generations.

EggInANest · 02/05/2023 17:21

GoldDuster · 02/05/2023 11:18

We were leaving the car at a farm type parking thing before a middle of the night flight, instructions were to drive through the gate, park up and head into the office, and someone would shuttle us in a mini bus to the airport.

Parked, DP got baggage and DC out of car, I headed over to the "office", pushed opened the door, and saw a bloke in his underpants standing there stirring some sugar into a coffee.

I presumed he was the bloke who was going to drive the shuttle to the airport, he denied all knowledga and I showed him my printed confirmation.

We had some very awkward circular confused conversation, which got weirder and weirder, before I realised that he was not the driver, and he realised I was not the owner of the farm, and I had walked into a rental cottage where he and his wife were staying, and he'd got up to make her a brew.

He appeared at the terminal outside WH Smith with his wife, who gave me a full interrogation after he pointed at me saying "that's her!" regarding what the hell I thought I was doing walking into her cottage at 4am and talking to her husband, in his pants.

DP and DC nearly disowned me and it still makes me laugh/ turn inside out in equal measures.

I am howling at this. On a packed train.

MindIfISlytherin · 02/05/2023 17:33

My sister lost her DP in an accident several years ago. When she returned to work following her compassionate leave, her first client asked her if he'd put a ring on it yet and to tell him to stop dragging his heels etc. Etc. Dug himself quite a big hole before she managed to get a word in edgeways to tell him that he hadn't proposed but had, in fact, died.

TinyPurpleFishes · 02/05/2023 17:35

I can’t stop laughing at Hairy Farnbarn

mackthepony · 02/05/2023 17:36

Signed DD (6) up for a swim class recently. As so happens one of her school mates was in the swim class too. Great stuff.

I said brightly (like an fucking over-enthusiastic golden retriever or something) to the chap next to the girl "oh you're Octavia's (not real name) grandad, it's so nice that they are in the same class!". He mumbled something and walked off.

No doubt he's the kids dad (but to be fair looks around 70).

Very bizarre also as Octavia has not been seen at the swim class since

🤔😐

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 02/05/2023 17:37

Some guy was round doing some jobs for me in the house and he was chatting about charity shops and how he does some stuff for charity. He was talking about it on and on and I kind of didn’t know what to say as I never really go into charity shops. Anyway he said ‘you go in there and you never come out, you know?’ So I went ‘haha yeah!’ Because I thought he was talking about the rabbit warren aladdins cave aspect of a charity shop or something. Then he goes ‘you know… because it’s a hospice??’ 😱😱😱 goddddd he was talking about a charity shop where the charity is a hospice!!!! I want to curl up and die just thinking about it.

Findyourneutralspace · 02/05/2023 17:38

ATaxiForTwo · 02/05/2023 09:50

I've shared this before but it still haunts me. Apologies for the terrible retelling.

I'd booked a taxi to take me into town straight from work.

I was standing outside waiting for my taxi, and one appeared. I went over and opened the door to find this rather 'posh' looking gentleman sitting in the back. I didn't say a word, just stared at him for a few seconds then shut the door.

.I went around the corner, out of his sight, for a few minutes while I got over the embarrassment. I then went back into the forecourt and thought 'There's my taxi'
I went to it, opened the door again, to find the same gentleman sitting there glaring at me.

Again I didn't say a word, just looked at him in shock, and disbelief, then closed the door again.

I went back inside the building and 5 minutes later my taxi arrived. It pulled up and I thought thank god, and approached it. Opened it's door, to find that for the third time I'd opened the door of the taxi with that gentleman in it again.

This time I shut the door immediately and dived into my taxi hoping and praying that I'd never see him again.(So far so good)

At Lena at you didn’t do what me and my friends did after a night out. We all piled into the back of some blokes car and demanded he took us to our various addresses.
Poor chap looked quite befuddled, before spluttering out ‘I’ve come to pick up my daughter’.

WestendVBroadway · 02/05/2023 17:42

This could be outing as I have told this to many friends.I was working as a community carer, helping service users in their own home. I went to a house where we cared for both the husband and wife. I was helping the husband put on his compression socks, which were obviously very tight and difficult to put on.I cheerfully exclaimed that it was a good job 'Gordon' only had 2 legs , or it would take all day. His wife didn't know whether to laugh or cry, as she was a double leg amputee. 🥺

cheapskatemum · 02/05/2023 17:44

GoldDuster · 02/05/2023 11:18

We were leaving the car at a farm type parking thing before a middle of the night flight, instructions were to drive through the gate, park up and head into the office, and someone would shuttle us in a mini bus to the airport.

Parked, DP got baggage and DC out of car, I headed over to the "office", pushed opened the door, and saw a bloke in his underpants standing there stirring some sugar into a coffee.

I presumed he was the bloke who was going to drive the shuttle to the airport, he denied all knowledga and I showed him my printed confirmation.

We had some very awkward circular confused conversation, which got weirder and weirder, before I realised that he was not the driver, and he realised I was not the owner of the farm, and I had walked into a rental cottage where he and his wife were staying, and he'd got up to make her a brew.

He appeared at the terminal outside WH Smith with his wife, who gave me a full interrogation after he pointed at me saying "that's her!" regarding what the hell I thought I was doing walking into her cottage at 4am and talking to her husband, in his pants.

DP and DC nearly disowned me and it still makes me laugh/ turn inside out in equal measures.

😂😂😂

wildlifeobserver1 · 02/05/2023 17:44

I wore a short white dress to a wedding.

It was the first wedding I’ve ever been to as an adult and had no idea about this rule. I didn’t realise until years later. Still cringe thinking about it.

mackthepony · 02/05/2023 17:48

Lord...Spank?" she repeated, incredulous.
"No" he replied frostily, "Lloyds Bank"

*

Actually weeping at this wtf 😂

Soubriquet · 02/05/2023 17:57

mackthepony · 02/05/2023 17:36

Signed DD (6) up for a swim class recently. As so happens one of her school mates was in the swim class too. Great stuff.

I said brightly (like an fucking over-enthusiastic golden retriever or something) to the chap next to the girl "oh you're Octavia's (not real name) grandad, it's so nice that they are in the same class!". He mumbled something and walked off.

No doubt he's the kids dad (but to be fair looks around 70).

Very bizarre also as Octavia has not been seen at the swim class since

🤔😐

Oh god that reminded me.

I used to work in a nursery and there was a little girl there. I think she was Thai.

Anyway, an old man, and I mean an old man, came to pick her up, and I said “xxx your grandads here”. Luckily neither he nor the girl heard or in the girls case acknowledged.

Anyway, one day, he came in with his wife who was in her 20’s…and talked about much the girl liked me and that he was pleased his daughter had settled.

Yeah, I blushed when I remembered I said he was her grandad

HerrickForever · 02/05/2023 18:04

ClawedButler · 02/05/2023 16:55

I did similar when a receptionist now I think of it. Lady phoned up with a very deep, gravelly voice. She told me her name was "Myrtle Smurf"
I wasn't sure I'd heard that correctly, so asked her to spell it.
"Which part?" she answered pleasantly, "Nigel or Smith?"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Findyourneutralspace · 02/05/2023 18:17

Reading out my card details over the phone, I gave my name as Mrs R Davies.

Phone guy: Is that R for Romeo?

Me, dead straight: No, Rebecca

Then realising the stupidity of what I’d just said, couldn’t stop laughing at my own comment.

(names changed a bit)

Pudmyboy · 02/05/2023 18:22

Iseeadarkness · 02/05/2023 13:52

When I was in secondary school I had to get a public bus and travel an hour each way. My mum told me to ask the bus driver for a new timetable as she knew it had been changed recently.

Now I was a painfully shy and awkward young teenager so the whole journey was spent rehearsing this request to myself. I waited until everyone had got off the bus at school, summoned all my courage, stood in front of the driver and quietly asked “have you got any digestives?”.

He stared in confusion. I stared in abject horror. This went on for what felt like minutes (in reality, probably only seconds) until I ran off the bus, cheeks scarlet with neither a timetable nor a biscuit in my sweaty hands.

Oh bless your young self!

Daniki · 02/05/2023 18:23

buttercupss · 02/05/2023 12:46

Not really a faux pas as such but your story reminded me @AtChoService

Years ago. Buffet breakfast where everything piled on plates. Came to a plate of scotch pancakes, piled high, around 14-20. Took two off the plate and a woman exclaimed loudly that it was her plate and they were all for her, and asked for them back.

😂😂

Somethingsnappy · 02/05/2023 18:27

Crying with laughter at many of these!

Original poster

AtChoService · 02/05/2023 18:29

That one makes me think we need a competitive undereating 'how much is acceptable to take/eat at a buffet' thread 😂😂😂

OP posts:

PuttaDePastaInnaDePot · 02/05/2023 18:32

On the morning of my wedding I'd got up at 5am to apply a bright red box dye to my hair, making a bit of a mess of the hotel bathtub.

My mum, my sister and my friend arrived a few hours later to help me with makeup/getting dressed/not shit myself inside out with anxiety.

My friend got up to use the bathroom, I called "Don't worry about the bath, I was dying my hair! Haha it looks like I've done a murder, or given myself an abortion!"

About half an hour later I suddenly remembered she had in fact had a secret termination about 12 months previous.

GrimDamnFanjo · 02/05/2023 18:34

@ChiefWiggumsBoy @Ameanstreakamilewide

I have made a mental note to be more descriptive about anything similar in future. I really couldn't see him properly. It looks like it was light from the window distorting the camera view.
I was nervous as it was our first call and a big project.

Tbh I was so mortified I started gabbling and said something like " no, no, that's not what I meant! I meant the screen was a funny colour, not you!"

I still haven't got over it.

JeepersCreeperrs · 02/05/2023 18:43

I called someone’s child a boy, when they were a girl. I didn’t really look at them, and they were wearing gender neutral clothing, in a pushchair. They did say their child’s name but I didn’t really hear. She was very offended, obviously.