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Original poster

Your worst faux pas

361 replies

AtChoService · 02/05/2023 08:32

Reading a coronation menu just reminded me of this, it was 20 years ago and I still cringe 😬

I was in my first proper job, first posh Christmas party and the food had servers but you had to go up to the table, get a plate and go along the line.

The starter had a few options, ham, melon, compote stuff, a few other things.

I moved along the line and stopped and held mh plate out at each server, thinking this doesn't ago, this is a bit odd, got an odd look but thought nothing of it at the time, 🙈 you weren't supposed to take a portion of everything, you were supposed to choose melon OR the other thing, not all of it 🥴

I doubt anyone but the servers noticed but I still cringe a bit now.

OP posts:
MannyTeddy · 02/05/2023 11:53

I once parked my red car outside a local shop, went in and bought some things. When I came out, I noticed my tyre was looking flat. So I pushed it with my foot and gave it a good kick! Then looked up and saw someone looking bewildered back at me from behind the steering wheel, as it wasn't my car!

Kitsmummy · 02/05/2023 11:56

When I worked at a PR company, one of the account managers told me her nickname was "sheepdog". I said "oh, is that because of your (wild and bushy) hair?".

She said "No, it's because I run the sheepdog account"

😬

TallulahBetty · 02/05/2023 11:57

seratoninmoonbeams · 02/05/2023 11:53

@OneMistakeAfterAnother this reminded me of a job I had and I had to say Kent and Sussex window company or similar. Muddled up the Kent and Sussex didn't I 😬

Show quote history

PLEASE tell me you said "Kunt and SexSex" 😂

TallulahBetty · 02/05/2023 11:59

I remember reading a story about a woman who took off her coat in a shop, only to not be able to find it.... another woman was trying it on and striding up and down the aisles checking herself out in all the mirrors 😂It was the way it was written, I howled.

Mangoesontherun · 02/05/2023 12:00

Kitsmummy · 02/05/2023 11:56

When I worked at a PR company, one of the account managers told me her nickname was "sheepdog". I said "oh, is that because of your (wild and bushy) hair?".

She said "No, it's because I run the sheepdog account"

😬

GrinGrinGrin

dragonbreaths · 02/05/2023 12:01

I was on the tube years ago, chatting away to my lovely new boyfriend. As I chatted, I was stroking his thigh. I looked up and suddenly caught the eyes of my boyfriend ... standing in the aisle and glaring at me.

I was sat next to a complete stranger, who looked absolutely mortified. I couldn't apologise enough to him.

DiscoBeat · 02/05/2023 12:03

I once walked straight into the glass door of a shop thinking it was open. I was too embarrassed to go in so I went around the corner gif five minutes or so then wandered in (carefully) assuming the wouldn't know it was me. The shop assistant said 'are you ok? You bounced off the door with a bang and disappeared!'

Nereides · 02/05/2023 12:03

I moved into a new flat and took in a parcel for my neighbour. Also the electric shower kept going off so I called an electrician. Shortly after there was a knock at the door, and I answered and said “Are you the electrician?” To which he said yes, so I invited him in and started telling him I was having a problem with my shower and was hoping he could fix it. I showed him the shower and demonstrated how the light kept going off.

He listened and nodded for a few minutes, then said with obvious discomfort “I’m in a bit of a hurry right now so could I just have my parcel please? I can come back and look at it tomorrow if you like”.

Turns our my neighbour was AN electrician, but not THE electrician who I had booked. And embarrassingly he did actually come back the following day, bless him! Although the actual electrician had already been and fixed it.

TheShellBeach · 02/05/2023 12:09

Kitsmummy · 02/05/2023 11:56

When I worked at a PR company, one of the account managers told me her nickname was "sheepdog". I said "oh, is that because of your (wild and bushy) hair?".

She said "No, it's because I run the sheepdog account"

😬

What's a sheepdog account?

DeoForty · 02/05/2023 12:09

Years ago when I was a scout leader, the cub leader's close relative was killed in a horrific accident. She was off for a while, on the night she came back we had a joint evening of cubs and scouts together with a 'campfire' theme. We are all sitting in a circle when one of the cubs suggests 'He Jumped Without a Parachute'. We all launched into it enthusiastically before realising it was massively, massively inappropriate. The kids were none the wiser but none of the leaders could look at each other. Verse after verse. Awful. (Those unfamiliar can google the words). I still feel slightly hysterical when I think about it and it was over 20 years ago.

Villagetoraiseachild · 02/05/2023 12:11

@GoldDuster, that is brilliant, better than a Monty Python sketch!
Thanks for sharing that.

mosiacmaker · 02/05/2023 12:13

LakeTiticaca · 02/05/2023 09:18

Congratulating an acquaintance when she told me her aunt was married that day.
I later discovered that I had misheard her and she had actually said her aunt was BURIED that day.
It's over 40 years ago but I still cringe when I think about it 😫

😂😂 I’m sorry but this is hilarious

AlbertaAnnie · 02/05/2023 12:16

Not my faux pas but my work colleague at the time made such a fuss about how much I looked like my dad when he collated me from work saying we had the same nose ect. He was my step dad 🤣 and we definitely don’t look alike!

I have definitely said “love you bye….” Once or twice to receptionists when ending a call

Theunamedcat · 02/05/2023 12:17

When I was working in an office I persistently rang Scotland instead of wales and vice versa one day Brian answered with now my darling were you wanting me? Or the dragon (wales)

Got in someone else's car...twice instead of my boyfriends

More recently I ALMOST told someone that there (formerly close) friend had died in the bluntest way possible he said have you heard ABOUT X I said what? The fact that she's dead yes her father rang me the other day he said sorry? I've not got my hearing aid in I haven't heard from her for ages I was stood there thinking of course you haven't she is dead when common sense came knocking and I realised he didn't fucking KNOW 😳

Kitsmummy · 02/05/2023 12:19

@TheShellBeach ...PR company, we did the PR for the Sheepdog society/association type thing

IcakethereforeIam · 02/05/2023 12:22

Stayed at a b&b with my sister and her friend after we'd travelled for a wedding. We were all sat together at breakfast, the friend was nearest the teapot. I didn't know her that well so said breezily, 'oh, will you be mother?'. Then remembered being told me she'd miscarried a couple if weeks previously.

Asking my friend if her newly born niece and nephew were identical twins.

Always getting the phrase 'fully booked', mixed up. I'm struggling to type it now.

Puppygate · 02/05/2023 12:28

Last week a man from the electricity board came to tell me he would need access to my field to look at a pylon. It was agreed he would come back in 2 weeks time to collect the key. He had a very strong foreign accent and when he handed me his card I noticed his name was plain David Jones. For some reason (why or why?) I said I was expecting a much more exotic surname - thinking he was probably Eastern European. He laughed and said he was Welsh!!
He’s coming back next week. Do I leave the key in the porch and pretend to be out or just hope someone else turns up?

LeefPeeper · 02/05/2023 12:30

Saw a lady at work I hadn’t seen for a while. “I’ve not seen you for a while have you been on holiday?” “No, my dad died”.

Someone in my team was our big senior boss struggling to move chair “Do you want a hand?”. Big senior boss only had one arm. I’ve never seen someone go so red

LeefPeeper · 02/05/2023 12:30

*saw our big senior boss

Echobelly · 02/05/2023 12:32

I am the person who is on the receiving end sometimes of the supposed dreadful faux pas of being asked if I'm pregnant when I'm not. I genuinely don't care, I'm slim-ish but always had a bit of tummy, even pre kids but worse after 2 so I know it can easily look that way. I feel awful for the people who say it, as I don't mind at all but they must be worrying they've upset me when I feel them I'm not. I'm in my mid 40s now so I think it will happen less and less, though.

elevenplusdilemma · 02/05/2023 12:34

Getting into a car when I assumed the driver had pulled up alongside me to offer me a lift. It was the mother of a friend of mine. We were 12 or 13 and I thought it a bit odd that she'd stop to offer me a lift to school when her own daughter was walking. Turns out she hadn't stopped to pick me up - there were temporary traffic lights and she was stuck in traffic 😂. I didn't realise this until I was sat in the car with the driver and passenger (my friend's gran) looking a bit surprised.

carrotcaketop · 02/05/2023 12:38

In my first job, first day, they took me out for a beer at lunchtime. I was really skinny and didn't often drink so on my return was a little tipsy. I wrote an email to a quite short, senior colleague, ending with 'see you shortly', only, I actually wrote, 'see you shorty'.

At university there was a particularly grumpy lab technician who used to moan at the students all the time. I didn't know her name but was speaking at length about how awful she was to a couple of people. After an awkward silence, one of them said, 'tell her who I'm married to will you?'. Then asked what this person looked like. I tried to be as vague as possible to dig myself out of the giant pit I had hurled myself into. Then of course, said woman appeared as if summoned, and boy did I bluff my way out saying it wasn't her but someone else.

Nearamir · 02/05/2023 12:39

Age 11, in an English class. Discussing a book/poem, teacher asks us if we know what ‘he had ‘grizzled’ hair’ meant. I have an idea, put my hand up, teacher asks a few other students who all get it wrong. Teacher says, “I’ll give you a clue, my hair is grizzled”. My hand is still up and I’m bursting to give my suggestion, so don’t really register her clue. She calls on me and I answer, “messy and straggly?”.

buttercupss · 02/05/2023 12:46

Not really a faux pas as such but your story reminded me @AtChoService

Years ago. Buffet breakfast where everything piled on plates. Came to a plate of scotch pancakes, piled high, around 14-20. Took two off the plate and a woman exclaimed loudly that it was her plate and they were all for her, and asked for them back. Confused

honeylulu · 02/05/2023 12:48

I've done the car one! Unfortunately I've always been socially awkward but also acutely aware of it which makes me anxious and ...more awkward. When I was in my last year of primary school I used to have piano lessons after school one day a week a short walk away and I was allowed to go there directly. One day I'd been in a flap not being able to find something and had left a bit late. My friend's mum was parked outside school and started gesturing wildly at me as I went past. I assumed she was offering me a lift (she knew where I was going and why) so I gratefully opened the door and jumped in. At which point she told me off and that she had only been gesturing to tell me to hurry up or I'd be late. Then she and her two daughters laughed mockingly as I opened the door and slunk off with my cheeks burning! I'm nearly 49 and still remember with mortification.

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