My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

[Niceseasidetown]

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

In general narcissists and psychopaths are over-represented in CEO level so him being a successful multimillionaire is no indicator of him being well adjusted and easy to work with

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackmccullough/2019/12/09/the-psychopathic-ceo/?sh=53b22e04791e

If he’s as celebrity as it seems … contact sky news or bbc , seems to be their thing at the moment to out the bullying bosses .

I probably would have put up with shit like this in my 20's, but definitely not in my 40's! Sounds horrendous op, plan your exit. In the meantime have a look at "quiet quitting".

As someone who works for the DWP, I have the following advice for you:

Refer yourself to occupational health and get to your GP for mental health help -instantly-.

Get a Union and report the behaviour to them

100% and most importantly - Report them to ACAS and the Ombudsmen. They might be famous, but they aren't exempt from the law. Get your local constituency involved, too.

Goodluck. Kick him where it hurts.

Sounds like Elon Musk. When I was in a bad work situation I used to write down what had happened and what was said. Very therapeutic. Good luck

Have set date written down of when you will leave, so every day you are counting down.

Record everything.

Remember Karma.

Revenge is a dish best served chilled, so wait to spill any sordid secrets, so as not to be linked to you.

You will get through this.
x

Put all your annual.leave in with minimal gaps as possible- failing that go long term sick and use some crefit- also mention to you next employer that you job made it ill and was untenable
The out the horrid boss anonymously !!

You have a problem if you actually believe deep down that he is superior to you, just because he's a millionaire. Or for any other reason.

Behaving in the way he does is not a quality, it's a flaw in his character.

His lack of respect for others makes him inferior, not superior.

Can you think yourself into a 'role' of being a person who doesn't take any shit from anyone? Someone with supreme confidence in their own abilities... maybe do a Paul McKenna cd trance thing for confidence.

Staying an extra five hours to accommodate the fact he lives in another time zone is ridiculous. Is it possible to redo your hours so you start five hours later?

Best of luck with your job search, he sounds impossible.

You absolutely need to say to him that the way he speaks to you is making you completely miserable. A bully only exists as long as we let them. Say you love your job and want to remain but ‘is there a way we could work on better communication?’ This sounds idealist but trust me I knew a bully like this and he said ‘why the fuck did nobody say?’ Explain that you’re frightened to say anything but you’ve tried everything. You’ve actually got nothing to lose as you’ll bin the job anyway if it doesn’t improve.

Oh absolutely - it's definitely not the batshit megalomaniac arsehole, it's you...

I'd record your boss on your phone and post it on tik tok.

I know someone in a similar situation who did have a breakdown
He controlled the narrative in which he was perfect and they were terrible
He enlisted support and had his cronies cause hell
Tried to wreck them professionally and personally
despite a campaign of harrassing them accused them of harrassment etc

For these reasons OP is best off sucking it up and running. I think any attempt at justice might backfire. If there’s any way you can go off sick, do it. Don’t rile them up. It’s all very well believing in justice but this is cancel culture, fake news society. Protect yourself OP.

OP I don’t have a celeb boss but when I went through a similar phase of absolutely hating my then new job, a good friend told me to just take it one day at a time and never to look beyond it but just work on your exit plan ok the side . It’s simplistic and it worked for me.
Good luck, OP. The problem with slebs is that they surround themselves with Yes men and they develop this ego that transcends reality.

Once you are able to leave you would have a case for constructive dismissal, however as you say legal.action.can be costly if you don't win

I'm so sorry you are going through such a tough time OP. I was in a similar position myself recently - it is just horrible and a far more common situation than it should be. The course of action you take to get through the next couple of months until you can move to another job will depend on your personality, but I coped by keeping my head down and my powder dry until I got out. Making a principled stand against an ego-maniac whilst they have control over you and your livelihood and wellbeing could make things so much worse for you. Record the behaviour and whistle-blow to HR on your way out the door. Mentally detach until then and take care of your wellbeing. No job is worth your health and sanity. Sending you hugs and the best of luck

Oh you have all my sympathy - I'm in a really similar situation and for various different but complex reasons cannot leave.

You've had some really good advice so far - I'm a particular fan of writing it all down (and having a special folder for particularly stupid emails). And also grey rock.

But there's some really specific stuff to do with dealing with narcissists which has really helped me. One is not to reveal anything about your personal life or anything really that can be used against you; this makes things easier. The second is - and I hate this but it is the only way to survive - give up your own ego. Yes you are right, yes you know what you are doing, but you are never going to win. So get your exit ducks in a row, but in the meantime, let him think he is right, that every idea is his, and just get on with it. It's grim, but works.

I suspect from what you say that he is a fragile narcissist and is actually threatened by your competence. So by doing your job better, you will make things worse. (I am working with someone who is trying to remove everything I do from the company because I can do it and they can't. Really).

Oh and listening to this on repeat helped too 😁

Get some legal advice. Then quit and sue for constructive dismissal and bullying. They have made your position untenable. You don’t need to put up with that. Virtually all firms settle before they get to court, not least if they want to protect their celebrity status.

I know it's not 100% ideal, but could you sign up to an agency? Lots of them can get you temp work in a factory or a supermarket type environment which will help you keep the lights on in the short term? So sorry you're going through this OP...some people are massive twats!!

OP have you signed a NDA? If not, he stands to lose a lot (reputationally) if you do name and shame.

Chances are if you do it, others would. He’s probably not just being a c**t to you.

Document everything, write a work diary and start keeping records.

This is exactly what I was coming to say. If you do nothing his behaviour will continue. Plus you’ll get tremendous satisfaction from it.

Do you work for a non alcoholic gin company?

I worked for a boss who wasn’t a celebrity but who was well known and well liked in her sphere. She was utterly shit at her job.

It was only once I was completely out of the situation that I could see clearly how much of the situation sat with her - when in position I spent quite a lot of time trying to open her eyes to concerns. It felt like a car crash waiting to happen.

A number of my colleagues could also see the problems but chose to ignore them - I’m not someone who can do that.

Record the behaviour and whistle-blow to HR on your way out the door.

Lol, whistle-blowing to HR about the owner of the company will achieve precisely nothing. You pay HR to deal with shit so the management doesn't have to and protect the company's interests. The only reason they won't throw this complaint in the bin is they'd have to print it out first.

@OP: You phoned Samaritans because of this job. Get another job. Honestly I'd tend to say go off sick. If you whistle-blow to anyone, make sure it is not one of his employees.

Seriously, fuck that guy and his miserable employment. NO JOB is worth torment.

This is the way to go if you’ve been there for at least 2 years. Also, put in a grievance through the proper channels, ie HR. You can then line yourself up for a constructive dismissal claim at an employment tribunal. You should not be trying to ‘manage’ this situation. Try ACAS for some sound advice. This boss needs to be hit in his pocket.