My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

[Niceseasidetown]

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

That's a tempting tale @Sandra1984

I also have his email address and social media passwords 😁😇

What woul be fair?

Record him. RECORD HIM. Gather loads of evidence.

Show him and HR the evidence.

Get a settlement aggreement.

Lesson learnt for him and compensation for you. Negotiate a good reference.

How was today OP?

Thank you @BreathingDeep

Well I did not get sacked.

There has been no bullying today although it often doesn't start until 9pm

But I feel something in me has switched

I genuinely think this job is temporary, the culture is a joke, he's a joke

I think maybe after being so low something has kicked in

And I'm not scared of him. I'm not scared of getting sacked. I don't care what he does.

We had an interesting exchange over the Bank Holiday where I tried to present an argument to him and said "sorry to argue. You can tell me to shut up. Don't worry soon I will shut up"

And he was a lot more reasonable

And I realised that in just letting him sink his stupid company and stopping caring...I was free

I normally care deeply about my job. But now I don't care. And so he has no power.

So not sure how long this will last but feeling finally detached.

@Sandra1984 I don't have his mobile number. I communicate with him wholly through a weird app!! But I like your thinking.

I think I'm mentally done.

I think I'm ready to start living my life again and just going through the motions until I'm out

Oh Nice, it sounds like mentally, you've flicked the switch, bloody huge well done. Try, as hard as you can to hang onto that mentality as it will see you through until you can walk, head held high, towards something so much better.

Put him and his bullying, freaky little insecurities and his enormous man-baby ego in a bubble. Yes, he can tell you what to do work wise, but he can't affect your soul, your heart, your personality - that is all untouchable. Let him screw himeself over - you owe him nothing and you certainly don't have to protect him, or his company, from himself. You are worth so, so much more.

@Niceseasidetown

What lovely messages. They really help counter how he has made me feel. Today he has been a pain about something and changed his mind. But no bullying. He's been quite tactful all things considered.

Whether my indifference has influenced this or not I don't know.

End of month today so I can invoice them.....juicy!!!!!!

I hope you'll write lots of overtime. Milk em 💪

Ooh I'm a cat lover @Agapornis thank you!! I can't bill overtime but

Although this sounds small...I'm proud today he played his usual games

At 6pm I sent what he'd asked for. Two colleagues publicly congratulated me (so something is shifting)

I responded making clear i was open to feedback

Won't check what he says until tomorrow. Sick of the 9pm messages

This evening I've been asked to write a column in our industry's biggest publication...a big surprise!!!! Just a one off guest column but still!

All of you all of you have given me so much strength.

Your words counter his.

I do realise now...I'm a much bigger loss to him than this job is to me.

Thank you xxxxxx

In 55 minutes I am due to interview someone for my job.

I guess they want the new person lined up before sacking me.

This is going to be awkward.

Full transparency they are only getting 60% of my job...but why keep me on for the other 40%

I hope it’s the 40% that doesn’t have do deal with Mr Buggerlugs

That's shocking!

Lol, please be honest with them so they can turn it down.

So I interviewed the guy.

It was so awkward because he kept trying to figure out how we would work together as he's been told he would be in charge of my department and I obviously am in charge of the department.

I just tried to be positive and said how there was so much to do that we certainly would both be busy!

He was a nice guy but honestly nowhere even close to where I am professionally. He was underprepared and vague and had no real strategy just a bunch of disconnected ideas.

I fed back on him honestly using the process. Someone replied "I liked him".

Honestly if they'd rather have him than me then that says it all.

Have you got a Union? Can’t be treating you this way. I’m sure there are laws to protect you no matter who you work for. Keep strong and keep being you! (Secretly want to know who he is,lol)

Once you've left and it's been a while, please report them to HMRC/your relevant tax authority for false self employment.

And the bottom 99% of people are demoralised by criticism.

I keep checking in on this thread OP, I really hope you can find a new role soon as I don't think this will ever be fulfilling or sustainable role long term by the sounds of it.

I hope the various coping techniques suggested make a difference in the interim - it does sound like they might be?

Well this has taken an odd turn. OP I am baffled as to how you’re just meekly interviewing people to replace you. Surely you spoke to your line manager and had a Frank conversation as to what was going on, why they wanted to bring someone else in, where that left you etc? You did, right?

Hi everyone and thanks for the support as I can't leave this job until I have a new one (single, no savings) so help getting through it is wonderful.

Someone asked if the coping mechanisms here are helping. Yes. I'm being gentle on myself. This week I've been the best since all this started.

As for interviewing and asking about it...I now remain emotionally detached. I've given up trying to have a sensible conversation about anything with them. I've pointed out that the job contains the majority of my role and been told not to get hung up on that. They've lost the power to shock me. Arguing with them achieves nothing. Asking questions just results in lies.

I've had a lovely weekend so far and won't check work comms until Monday morning. I've also stopped working in the evenings.

I am working to a high standard and am not slacking off. But I'm not doing any extra.

Instead I am putting my efforts into other potential opportunities.

My anxiety is much less.

As I've detached a bit I've noticed how very, very much wrong there is in the business beyond my role.

On Monday I am interviewing another candidate for my role. I will let you know how that goes!!

OP your guy sounds a lot like a prick I used to work for. CEO of own company. I really should've taken more note of Glassdoor.

I used to go to meetings with my resignation letter in my notebook and sit their watching him go bananas hoping that he'd have a stroke and I'd just step over his twitching body on my way out.

After one blistering meeting where he publicly took apart a direct report whilst a new direct report nodded and egged him on, my assistant told me she couldn't feel her legs. She'd been frozen in place whilst the spectacle unfolded.

It's amazing these people exist, but they do. I managed 6 weeks and then one night just posted all my laptop, phone, pass back through the door and sent him a text saying I'd quit. Then blocked him on everything.

When the candidate asks whether you like the company OP, I dare you to do a big, grinning, thumbs up Tony The Tiger "I LOVE IT."

This is exactly where I am. Detach detach detach, smile and nod, note from a distance how mad they all are, and plan my exit.

It's really difficult.

Hahahaha @Vitriolinsanity

Yes these people are almost unbelievable until you encounter them.

And then your own reaction surprises you.

I've done 6 weeks with him since my old boss was sacked. I think 2 weeks is enough for any sane person. Well done on quitting.

The last candidate asked me about the culture. I said what an amazing opportunity was there and how exciting I thought it would be for someone to join us and be that person the CEO can trust to deliver and celebrate success with.

As the interview was recorded by my company I delivered all of this with utmost sincerity.