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Original poster

My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

592 replies

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 10:59

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Tandia · 03/06/2023 22:29

This won't actually help with your job situation, but if you have access to Disney plus, I recommend that you watch 911 series 6 episode 8 - you will initially find it very satisfying (although the ending is a bit twee). It doesn't particularly matter if you've never watched it before - although the main characters stories are being continued, the cases dealt with are total one offs. I watched it today and immediately thought of you!

Twobyfour · 04/06/2023 08:56

So the job interviews are recorded - so the interviewees know this?

Ellyess · 04/06/2023 15:18

Niceseasidetown
You sound so much more in control. Well done! Remember never let up on this. He is crazy and dangerous and will bring down everybody he can.

I found this (below) from a long time ago when a Narcissist was trying to take over my life:
[I have used it before so apols if you've seen it elsewhere.]

It's called

'A discussion with a Narcissist'

'If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?'
Purple because Aliens don't wear hats.'

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 05/06/2023 21:49

I've read and watched so much on narcissists @Ellyess but never heard that. It is wonderful. Thank you.

Quite a lot of interesting things are occurring. Maybe they always were but I was too absolutely in bits to notice.

The most interesting thing that you guys would appreciate is...celeb boss has disappeared from social media. The multiple daily posts suddenly went quiet. It's been almost a week.

I don't know why.

I know he's not dead.

He's written one blistering reply to someone.

I however continue to feel so removed from it.

If I'm honest I've always cared too much. Tried so hard to please. Bit pathetic really.

Not just in this job but in my entire life.

I just...After getting really low with this...find myself in general not caring.

In a way I think is good.

Nothing really was as important as I thought it was.

OP posts:
Woofappreciationday · 05/06/2023 22:36

The minute you step into a new role. The heavy weight will go. I, like you, worked for a monster and a monster of an organisation. Im through the other side now in an amazing role where they are teaching me how to be a normal employee again. I no longer have the stomach ache that i continuously had and i now enjoy weekends.

This stage in your life will pass and you will look back on this episode and learn each and every day from it.

SaveMeFromForearms · 06/06/2023 06:54

When my lunatic boss goes quiet it's generally because someone is sniffing around, trying to figure things out and dig up any dirt.

Of course they're mad and he's white as snow...

SquirrelSoShiny · 06/06/2023 08:42

Ellyess · 04/06/2023 15:18

Niceseasidetown
You sound so much more in control. Well done! Remember never let up on this. He is crazy and dangerous and will bring down everybody he can.

I found this (below) from a long time ago when a Narcissist was trying to take over my life:
[I have used it before so apols if you've seen it elsewhere.]

It's called

'A discussion with a Narcissist'

'If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?'
Purple because Aliens don't wear hats.'

@Ellyess would you mind posting a link?

Ellyess · 06/06/2023 13:36

Niceseasidetown
Thank you for your kind words.
Sometimes Narcissists do a 'silent treatment' usually it is those picking on one individual. They are always unpredictable, trying to trip you up. He is playing games, maybe he has realised you are on to him. Keep up the not caring, not being affected. You are doing brilliantly!

Squirrelsoshiny. I quoted the 'discussion with a Narcissist' underneath the title. I only have the print-out. It's a funny but illustrative example of how impossible a conversation is. It goes;
' If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?'
'Purple because Aliens don't wear hats.'

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 12:08

Really, really shit day with him today.

He has had yet another 100% u-turn, wasting 100s of hours of work

He has criticised one area of my department and forbidden me to implement the improvement plan as his new hire will take it over

He offered my role to someone else who turned it down

He has been having calls with all my team behind my back (he never has calls with me just public bollocking on public comms channels)

I know he wants me to quit.

I am not quitting until I have another job.

But my blood is boiling.

Team are losing faith in me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 12:10

He is interviewing another candidate for my role this pm

This candidate was great when I interviewed him. However he said he quit his last job because he couldn't work in a dictatorship....so be interested in what he makes of the Evil One

OP posts:
TheBrokenCracker · 07/06/2023 12:30

So what have you done to find a new role?

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 12:33

@TheBrokenCracker spoken with all my recruitment leafs, applied for 25 jobs with a tailored CV, updated my website

It takes 2 months to hire my role normally

OP posts:
BuntyFayreweather · 07/06/2023 12:38

I will lend you a description of my former senior colleague 'Satan in a suit'.
Keep going and good luck for the applications.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 12:49

Mine doesn't even wear a suit. He's too cool for that 😎

He has now posted a list of everyone's responsibilities and I'm not on it.

Think he's just waiting to get someone to accept the role he's advertised then hopefully will fire me but pay my notice and holiday pay owed.

OP posts:
TheBrokenCracker · 07/06/2023 13:43

Good you’re taking action. I would concentrate your efforts there and just do the minimum.

I thought you said you were all treated as contractors on day rates and not employees, no? If so why would he pay holiday pay? I mention because you don’t want to rely on something you won’t get.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 13:59

Thanks @TheBrokenCracker

I am doing just as you say.

In my contract I get sick pay and holiday pay...so I should get that

But it also says that in the event of any dispute I need to lodge a complaint in person in Texas!!!!

So I suspect he will try it on

OP posts:
Tandia · 07/06/2023 15:08

Receipt of holiday/ sick pay is one of the factors HMRC look at to determine if someone should be treated as employed rather than self employed. You may be able to screw them over (will cost them a fortune in NICs) if you report them. Plus, your role most definitely sounds like a 'contract of service' rather than a contract for (specific) services, which again sounds like employment. I work in tax. Feel free to pm me if you want more info.

MrBit · 07/06/2023 16:09

Christ he sounds vile @Niceseasidetown concentrate on that lovely feeling you'll get when you walk away forever and just take one day at a time until then
You're doing great

tailinthejam · 07/06/2023 16:22

Tandia · 07/06/2023 15:08

Receipt of holiday/ sick pay is one of the factors HMRC look at to determine if someone should be treated as employed rather than self employed. You may be able to screw them over (will cost them a fortune in NICs) if you report them. Plus, your role most definitely sounds like a 'contract of service' rather than a contract for (specific) services, which again sounds like employment. I work in tax. Feel free to pm me if you want more info.

Absolutely this in a nutshell.

And if they find in your favour and it transpires that you are an employee and not a contractor, then you can pursue a claim for constructive dismissal as well.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 20:01

@tandia God bless you.

I only just appointed an accountant and he flagged this up ASAP.

I will PM you....thank thank you...I have since my last post learned my old boss was fired and got no notice pay
He was CEO so God knows their plans for me. Thank you

OP posts:
Twobyfour · 07/06/2023 20:41

I think Nasty Boss was trying to get you to walk out, and as that failed he is trying other tactics, being particularly being spiteful and bullying.

Stay strong Flowers

Tandia · 07/06/2023 22:19

Niceseasidetown · 07/06/2023 20:01

@tandia God bless you.

I only just appointed an accountant and he flagged this up ASAP.

I will PM you....thank thank you...I have since my last post learned my old boss was fired and got no notice pay
He was CEO so God knows their plans for me. Thank you

It's a pleasure to try to help. They don't deserve to get away with the way they have treated you. I've sent you a long PM with lots of info, but feel free to ask if you have any more questions. I'm sure your accountant can help loads too. It is a good sign that he flagged this straight away!

tailinthejam · 07/06/2023 23:40

How do they pay you OP? Do you provide invoices? That's what I did when I was freelance. Who is responsible for your tax and NI contributions, and pension?

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 08/06/2023 02:39

Yes I invoice and i am responsible for all the things you mention plus paying my accountant who I need to understand all of it. My salary level i have no complaint about. It's just everything else.

OP posts:
HamptonCaught · 08/06/2023 14:20

Texas? Is it Steven Crowder?