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Original poster

Is this village life?

193 replies

Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 10:45

I’ve moved from London to a village in Surrey to raise a family. I have 3 young children

The village has a duck pond so I took my children to look at the ducks and an elderly couple spoke to me and my children, all nice and friendly until they asked if I’ve always lived in the village and I said no I’ve moved here from London, to which he replied ‘We’re sick of you Londoners moving here’ and walked off.

I joined the local toddler group and it quickly became apparent that everyone knew each other, most had grown up in the village, went to school together etc and no one was interested in chatting because they had their friends there.

Since being at the local village school I have lost count of how many times I’ve been asked which road I live in....I know it’s to size up how much my house is worth. And to top it off just before the Easter hols I had a mum ask me in front of another mum “Do you receive the holiday club vouchers, you’re low income aren’t you?” I was really taken aback. I actually have a good career not that I broadcast it (earn £40k) but I drive a Fiat and my car is 9 years old, most mums drive newer, bigger beast cars.

Is this normal village life?

OP posts:
SavBlancTonight · 19/04/2023 10:46

No it's not. And you know that.

Keep looking for more friends or consider a different village.

Having said that, I do find Surrey village life a lot less dynamic and diverse than the life we had in London.

HeddaGarbled · 19/04/2023 10:48

No

mindutopia · 19/04/2023 10:49

I don't think this is village life, no. It may be Surrey village life if you've moved to an area that is particularly status conscious though.

We have lived in villages for over a decade. I did find one less welcoming, simply because everyone had lived there a long time and the mums at school largely went to (the same) school together when they were young - gosh, how stifling must that be! But I've otherwise found everywhere else we lived very welcoming. No one has ever asked questions about the cost of our home or our incomes.

I think perhaps you've moved to a particularly unwelcoming place or just had some really bad luck.

whoruntheworldgirls · 19/04/2023 10:50

Nope i've not come across anything like that since moving to our village, just nice friendly chatty welcoming people.

SaltyGod · 19/04/2023 10:51

It's not what we have experienced in our village.

Thesisquibble · 19/04/2023 10:51

No that's not normal. How horrible!

Eqs · 19/04/2023 10:53

Blimey, I would have thought there were loads of Londoners who’d moved out to Surrey. No, not normal, not even in the rural back water where I moved to….. there are some who keep to their ‘old mates’ but a good few have made an effort and become good friends. It sounds a bit nouveau if they’re judging you on your car….how big is the village school?

CindersAgain · 19/04/2023 10:55

The toddler group thing is normal anywhere I’d say.

Original poster
Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 10:55

Eqs School is small 200 children.

OP posts:
Paranoidandroidmarvin · 19/04/2023 10:56

No. I loved my village. We had a little school. So many summer activities. Everyone said hello. Was so sad to leave.

ShirleyPhallus · 19/04/2023 10:58

I’d have thought this was a possibility in some bougie village in the Cotswolds that has featured on best places for lononders to move but Surrey is so close to London that surely half the people are from there anyway

What village is it @Hocuspocusnonsense

Original poster
Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 11:01

Shirley I can’t name it, I’d love to but I can’t. Honestly most people seem to have lived there all their lives with a few moving in but they’re welcomed if they buy one of the BIG houses so clearly have plenty of money.

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RudsyFarmer · 19/04/2023 11:03

i would t say it’s normal no. But in the village I spend most time in there is a definite divide between those who’ve moved i to the large new housing development on the edge and those who’ve lived in the village for a long time.

Jonei · 19/04/2023 11:03

No it's not normal village life. I've always found the locals to be really welcoming (in my experience anyway.)

Original poster
Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 11:04

There is a huge divide between the village the ‘terrible road that has HA houses!’ Honestly the way its spoke about you would think anyone living there is a sub species.

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Bambooflowers · 19/04/2023 11:06

No not my experience either and I’m in a small village in Surrey, asking where you live isn’t to size up your house size. And you seem slightly preoccupied by the size of their houses and cars.

JuneShitfield · 19/04/2023 11:06

Some villages are just like that. The one I grew up in was a bit similar.

I think what it is, is that because there are (obviously) fewer people in a village, when you get wallopers like that they stick out more.

You get dicks in cities too. I've lived in several. (Cities, not dicks.)

EustaceTheMonk · 19/04/2023 11:06

Fits in with all the accounts of village life I have heard of. A guy called Willie Poole who was countryside correspondent for the Telegraph once wrote that the only way he'd live in a village was if he owned it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/04/2023 11:06

Not my experience at all. I run a baby and toddler group and most of the families who attend it have moved here in the last 5 years.

It’s also a weird thing that if you ask someone how long they’ve lived here, however long it is they say they’ve only lived here 10, 20, 40 years. No idea why, it’s an odd local quirk.

I find it friendly, inclusive and lovely. During lockdown we got chatting to people of all ages and the dynamic has stayed more helpful and supportive in the time since.

Original poster
Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 11:06

I had a leaflet through my letterbox asking for support to oppose anew housing development which will have HA houses because and I quote ‘Our village is not the place for these kind of people’.

OP posts:
googlejourney · 19/04/2023 11:07

Come up north! We're friendly and welcome newcomers up here, doesn't matter what you drive!

Skybluepinky · 19/04/2023 11:07

Sounds like u chose the wrong village.

IsThePopeCatholic · 19/04/2023 11:08

Poor you. I have never left London. Your experience has confirmed all of my prejudices about village life. I hope it gets better for you.

tescocreditcard · 19/04/2023 11:08

In my experience yes, thats village life for you.

And the answer to "you londoners coming here pushing property prices up" is "well, they could have sold their house for less money to a local, couldn't they?"

Original poster
Hocuspocusnonsense · 19/04/2023 11:09

Googlejourney I have thought about it!😊

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