Grudges you continue to hold

[OneFrenchEgg]

Just drive a different way home, past a car wash and remembered how I refuse to use it on principle 😂
Years ago, I was in a hurry and no one in front - as I drove in, and was being 'washed' by one of the chaps, the one in charge allowed someone to jump the queue as they were 'in a hurry' and 'just wanted a spritz' - nope, they reversed all the way back, had everything, and I sat fuming at the the queue jumpy enablement.
Refuse to go back, I'm sure they are disappointed 😂

My bully at school even though it was nearly fifty years ago now. I occasionally catch myself daydreaming of going back in time and exacting some revenge. Amongst other things she would steal my packed lunch and I wish I’d laced a ‘special’ packed lunch with a strong dose of laxative in some chocolate cake. I can still feel intense hatred towards her although I haven’t seen her since 1974!

I thought I only had one, but reading through these made me realise I have loads..

Morissons. I was saving the vouchers from the morrisons more scheme and my account was hacked and the vouchers all stolen. About £40 I think. They said it was my fault as I must have used the same password on several accounts, and sent me a link to haveibeenpwned as evidence. They've since stopped the scheme, and it was a widespread problem. Only recently shopped there again, it's been about 4 years. I sold my shares (which since increased in value so I lost out again).

A small cafe near my old flat. Busy, went in and waited....staff deliberately avoiding eye contact and us trying to get their attention. Not even an acknowledgement that we were there. I never went back.

Nationwide. Had a transaction on my account that wasn't mine and they refused to refund for ages. It was £100 and I needed it. Had to go into a branch to show them my boarding pass for a flight I was on at the time of the transaction to prove it wasn't me. They just kept saying 'it's verified by visa so must have been you'. I transferred to another bank, and they blocked the transfer (but didn't tell me) as my middle name was missing on the account. Caused a load of hassle with unpaid direct debits.

Hate Audi TTs because of an ex that drove one. Couldn't give a shit about him any more, but still hate the car 😂

Someone I was friends with at uni...we were both slightly older students (mid-late 20's, so not fresh out of school) and we were friends to start with, but then he took a dislike to me and turned people against me. Said I was quiet and was 'withholding information'...none of it made much sense but I didn't defend myself and I felt very isolated. Years later he messaged on Facebook something like 'sorry for being a prick at uni lol'. I asked him why he was, and asked what had a done to deserve it. He came back and said he didn't know what I was talking about, he'd never done anything, etc etc. So basically he'd just sent a generic message to everyone for attention, hoping we'd all say how great he was. Prick.

I was sick while in the US once (viral, felt hideous for days). Last thing I ate was salsa. I know it's not the salsas fault, but I still hate it.

A local business owner dangerously overtook my daughter when she was out riding a pony about 10 years ago. I refuse to use him.

It’s a bit of a pain in the arse actually as I occasionally need his services and his competition isn’t as good and is more expensive so I continue to cut my nose off to spite my face.

Im a bit of a nightmare about grudges. If someone does something to upset me or my family, that’s it. I caught a very close, long standing friend’s kids taking the piss out of my DD (she has Tourette’s). Friend did apologise, but my DD has been quite badly bullied over her Tourette’s so anything like that is a total a red flag to a bull for me.

i hold a grudge against the local flower shop. It was my mums 70th birthday during lockdown, i decided to get her a big expensive bunch of flowers. A new florist had opened up in our village and i thought i would shop local and use them.

Went in, spent about 15 minutes talking to the florist, type of flowers, type of display, ribbons etc, a very detailed talk and she wrote it all down in her diary. I was to return in 2 days at 11am to pick up the flowers and take them to my mum.

2 days later went it, florist just stared at me, explained i was there to pick up the flowers, turns out the bloody florist had forgot. She told me she would do them now and to go back in 20 minutes which i did.

The flowers were shit, the bouquet looked rushed and not the flowers i wanted. I was bloody raging and will never ever set foot in there again.

I totally get the shop grudges and have blacklisted three shops in my neighbourhood for minor infringements, however I implore anyone with a grudge against someone in their personal life to let it go, either bring it up or just forgive.

As I get older I realise people can have literally opposite experiences of the exact same thing. I’ve been very hurt by a family situation for years and finally opened up in a dramatic (but drunk oops 😬🤦🏼‍♀️) message about it and they turned around with all the hurt they’ve been feeling about the exact scenario that I was hurt about (but with me, the person who felt completely innocent, as the villain for them).

There is no one single truth to any personal situation and when we bottle things up as a silent grudge we can lose sight of that. We have to give others the grace and understanding and assume the best just like we hope they do for us. If we assume the worst we should always double check this and give the person a chance to redeem themselves, just like we would hope they would give to us.

On the subject of shops though, I still don’t go into the local wine shop because the last time I was there I suggested he stock some crackers (in addition to the cheese and wine he sold, thus making him a one stop shop for a wine and cheese evening, can’t do that without something to put the cheese on can you?!) and he condescendingly told me he wouldn’t do that because he “wasn’t a deli”.

Lo and behold months later they stock all sorts of bread. Asshole.

I used to work with a lady with a hit list. She used to say something like a new name has been added.... I was always intrigued if / how many times my name made it! 🤔

Allied Irish Bank (AIB) back in the 80s money was really tight in my family. We focused on Education neither of my parents smoked or drank and rarely socialised. My mum knew where every penny went and we just about kept our heads above water. End of the month just before my mums payday A I B the cunts decided to start a charge for current accounts, (without telling her) this put my mum into the red for the first time ever by a very small amount. They then charged her something like £20 for being over drawn. We literally had no food or heating for a few days. I sit here now in my fully paid for house, fully paid for BMW on my drive doing very well but could actually cry for how hard done by I feel. Never Bank with them!! ASSHOLES!!

@Dacadactyl

Your post prompted me to respond as a similar thing happened to me recently!

A mobility problem means I walk more slowly than most and I am extra careful when crossing roads. I needed to cross a short piece of road which was a fair distance from a small roundabout. Making sure there was no oncoming traffic I started to cross. Half way over (5 or so steps) a car came zooming over the roundabout at some speed and I continued crossing. No problem. Nothing wrong except I was shocked at the driver's speed. A few minutes further in my journey I saw a man walk past me who turned and began yelling and name calling saying he almost ran me down and next time he would do exactly that!! What??!!

I told him to stop shouting at me and all that did was make him repeat his statement to run me over next time.

I know who was in the wrong and it was this loudmouth horror, not me! I was upset but told no one until now. Hopefully he meets his match and gets thumped by someone he challenges like that. He wouldn't have been aggressive if I'd been a mean looking bloke.

Ditto to Macmillan.

A friend with fairly advanced cancer had one of their doctors call when she was all on her own. A woman doctor, , who told her in brutally matter-of-fact tones that she was going to die, and did she want to die at home, in hospital, or in a hospice?

It wasn’t as if she was yet at death’s door. Yes, she did eventually die, but she was a robust, born fighter who absolutely needed a little hope to cling to.
I have never given a penny to Macmillan since. It was grossly insensitive.

Friend said at the time, ‘They want to reduce me to an abject, weeping wreck, so they can efficiently tidy me away to the terminal department.’

when we bottle things up as a silent grudge we can lose sight of that

In my case, yes I bottled it up, but that was the result of being silenced in early childhood and needing the time to find courage to speak up.

My clinical supervisor when I was training in CAMHS. She would close doors in my face, ignore me totally in conversation and refused to get me a computer meaning I had to jump on other clinicians desktops thus seeming a total nuisance. In supervision she would bring up stuff she had overheard me saying in joke to peers in conversation as evidence that I was incompetent, other times she would cry.

Turned out her previous trainee had failed due to her total lack of oversight and she had pulled the same behaviour in another trust. She was deeply insecure but I still hate her and often think about how much I would like to tell her to her face. Maybe I don't have to because it seems that everyone who has worked with her also hates her. My only true grudge but I nurture it like a pot plant.

Sushi.

Got food poisoning 12/13 years ago and have not eaten it since

Jill B from a town beginning with A in Surrey. Pretty sure everyone who has ever met her holds a grudge against her. One day, justice will be served (said in Batman voice).

I scowl and swear at any large white SUV as my ex boss used to drive one, my OH considered getting one recently and I told him (only mostly joking) that i would leave him if he got one.

Karma hit that boss hard though i recently found out. The man cheated on his wife (and mother of his two kids) with a stunning, tall, scandinavian lady (boss always complained about how fat and ugly his ex wide got after having his babies) who he eventually married and had another child with. He handed over a big chunk of the business (he was a joint director) for 'tax efficiency' reasons.

The new wife then went and cheated with a stunning, tall, scandinavian man. My boss moped for a few months telling no-one as he was so miserable until eventually fessing up to the other director that they would now need to buy out his ex wife who owned a 5th of their company. It cost several million I believe, bless his little froggy face...

To be fair I hold a grudge against Lulu for being utterly ridiculous most of the time with her exaggerated Scottish accent (that she puts on despite living in Berkshire for 60 years).

Booked a very smart hotel in central London for after our wedding reception. It was highly recommended by a friend I trust. When I made the booking I explained what time we'd be arriving (late) and that we'd like something to eat in the room. They were lovely and very helpful on the phone and said they loved newly weds and they'd have something special for us. Got there, no friendly greeting, lots of endless faffing at the reception desk, waited ages for the room, then no food and quite shirty when I asked for some. Finally begged them for a plate of sandwiches - I was starving! Final straw was I lit a scented candle briefly, left it there and got charged 40 quid for it. Would never go back!

I hold a grudge against the Coop funeral service. We’d always used them in years gone by (especially our Scottish relations) so when my Mum died, they were my automatic choice.
Cue the ‘meeting’ with the funeral organiser who then proceeded to take 3 phone calls during a very emotional meeting discussing the arrangements for my Mum and her also insisting she had to wear some shitty nylon shroud sort of thing instead of her best trousers and Les Mis t.shirt (long story).
I’ll never cross their threshold again.

RSPCA BASTARDS!
DP found a cat that had obviously been hit by a car and had a damaged hip. He couldn't find the owner so brought it home and we called the bastards. Man who they sent out lectured us about being responsible pet owners and not taking on animals if we couldnt afford the vets bills. Would not accept that it was not our cat 'because it seems to like you'. They took the cat but only after explaining that we wouldn't be able to have the cat back once they'd treated it.
Saw a stray cat hanging about outside some shops. Blood dripping from its mouth and obviously in pain. Reported it to them and as I was explaining about the 'bloody' mouth she interrupted me by shouting that she didn't have to put up with me using such foul language. Then hung up!
Both times their fundraising departments called within 24 hours asking for money. They didn't get a penny and never will. 😠

Hair Salon near where I grow up. I had an appointment for 2pm as a teen and the owner put two of her friends without appointments before me as they were going out that night. Have boycotted it ever since and the other business that she owns

Mr B. Sabotaged my chemistry education because he didn't like girls.
I was therefore unable to pursue veterinary medicine.

I am like your mother
I didn't go to our local pub again for 10 years because they servede the wrong dish and was rude and condescending when I asked for the right one. It was so embarrassing, the table next to us had complained loudly and got a free meal and round of drinks but I was polite and got daggers and questioned if I was 'sure'.

After 10 years we finally went back in there as we had been given a voucher so it cost us nothing.
The food was great, it had been done up really nice and the service was outstanding. They had new owners and new staff. I'd really shot myself in the foot by going to to the other pub for the last decade.

I know this is petty and irrational, but........
I taught in many schools, with various ups and downs, during my career, but there was one particular head who really stabbed me in the back, and every time I pass the building now, I still remember to blow raspberries at the very least, rude gestures if the traffic pauses for long enough; good friends, if having a lift at the time, have been known to join in.
I am happily retired, and presumably he is as well, but it makes me feel better.

Brilliant idea. I would be worried in case something happened to someone on the list and I was implicated 😁

Great story plot idea...

I don't hold grudges, I rarely give wrongdoings towards me any headspace.
But I am not big on forgiveness- especially the fashionable idea that we must forgive in order to heal- small things I can forgive easily, big things I'd rather not- like being abused by my ex husband, or being talked out of accepting a place at medical school by my parents because they didn't believe in me.
Those things I won't forgive, but they don't often cross my miind.

You should go to her till and be really slow