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Original poster

How many times would you consider getting married?

205 replies

sunbathetilmorningtime · 16/04/2023 19:33

Is there a line you’d draw? Like if your second marriage failed would you just think fuck it or would you actually consider having a third marriage?

My grandma was married once, when they broke up she said she’d never get married again and she didn’t. She still had another parent and had more children.

OP posts:
Oblomov23 · 17/04/2023 06:55

If you are doing it many many times then you've probably got your relationship boundaries wrong!

sanityisamyth · 17/04/2023 06:56

Never again!

CleaningOutMyCloset · 17/04/2023 07:08

I think it very much depends on circumstances.

I got married very young to an abusive man who emotionally blackmailed me into it. It was so long ago that it almost doesn't seem real now, we didn't make a year.

My second he cheated on me after 6 months, we limped on for a few years then divorced

I said after that I'd never marry again, but I met a wonderful man in my late 40s and I decided to give it one last shot. We've been married for 5 years now and I'm
Blissfully happy. I'd never marry again if this one ends for whatever reason

ZenNudist · 17/04/2023 07:11

Once.

CeriB82 · 17/04/2023 07:17

Once for me. Been with DH for 25 years and I’ll be damned if i marry again should he die.

Im not sure if i ever want to share my life with another person.

the bits everywhere, snoring, ……

ill pass

Barbecuebeans · 17/04/2023 07:28

KillerSandy · 16/04/2023 20:20

It is very easy for women who are ensconced in long relationships to say this when they have no idea of what it is like to live alone at 60. They think that it is like being happy to be in the house on their own when their H is out for an afternoon ime.

Show quote history

The people I'm most worried about are those in long term relationships with awful men. I also know women that are happily married and those that are single and they're generally fine but being married to someone unkind, disrespectful, lazy, selfish is a living hell.

minmooch · 17/04/2023 07:47

I've been married and divorced twice. Have now been with dp for 6 years. He has also been married and divorced twice.

We are both the happiest we've ever been but no way will we marry.

I'm financially independent as is he. No kids together so no complications there.

We live very happily together, love each others adult kids and respective families.

I'm quite old fashioned, expected to only be married once, but here we are. I divorced both my husbands.

sausagelastrange · 17/04/2023 08:24

minmooch · 17/04/2023 07:47

I've been married and divorced twice. Have now been with dp for 6 years. He has also been married and divorced twice.

We are both the happiest we've ever been but no way will we marry.

I'm financially independent as is he. No kids together so no complications there.

We live very happily together, love each others adult kids and respective families.

I'm quite old fashioned, expected to only be married once, but here we are. I divorced both my husbands.

This is also me!

Married and divorced twice (my choice first time, mutual the second time).

Been with my partner 7 years, I am more committed to him than I've ever been to anyone but very much doubt I'd get married again. Maybe when I'm 70 😂

FinallyHere · 17/04/2023 08:43

Re "committed without marriage"

I was a late convert to marriage and honestly inheritance tax was the thing that convinced me. The personal allowance has not kept up with the rising value of houses esp in the south east.

A dear friend whose DP died tragically early found herself faced with a IHT bill to stay in their jointly owned house. He left her everything, only the first £250-ish (in those days, now £320-ish) was free of IHT

Transfers between spouses are free of any tax.

For the cost of a marriage licence, she would have been spared that bill which came at a really difficult time. Inheritance tax on estates is due within the first six months after a death.

OldTinHat · 17/04/2023 08:53

I'm twice divorced. I won't marry again.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/04/2023 10:13

Once, and if anything happened to dh I’d never want another man - I’d get a dog! I know I’ve been very lucky though.

mummyoffourminimes · 17/04/2023 10:17

Once and only when young (DH and I were early 20s and entered marriage with no children/property/financial assets).

Once you have your own assets and children there is too much financial risk in marriage.

newwings · 17/04/2023 12:18

On 3rd marriage, definitely 3rd time lucky. Would only marry max twice if I had my time again.

ch4shirecat1234 · 17/04/2023 12:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TempNCforthis · 17/04/2023 12:31

CreepyQueen · 16/04/2023 21:10

I'm getting married again, same guy as first time 😂

Oh I'd love an AMA about this!

Aerosarethebest · 17/04/2023 12:34

The same number of times as Elizabeth Taylor seems like a good maximum limit to me :)
I’m still on one, so perhaps I have some catching up to do?

Daiaychainxo · 17/04/2023 14:49

I think more than twice and it's problematic, when you've had two marriages that haven't worked out who wants the hassle of a third possible divorce that drags on for years?

People tend to jump into these things when they think they've found 'the one'.. sadly there isn't ever 'the one' and fast forward a few years and they're looking for another 'one' .. my sister is currently in a messy 3rd divorce, she was adamant this one was for keeps. Its just depressing watching it all play out again like history repeating.

amusedbush · 17/04/2023 15:28

I'm 7 years into my first marriage and hoping it sticks. I met DH at 21 and I'm now 33.

If circumstances changed, I wouldn't bother with any of it. Certainly not marriage but I'm not sure I could even be arsed with another relationship. I'm unshakeably certain that I don't want children and I generally prefer my own company so it's one and done for me.

Or maybe I'd just need to make absolutely sure, like my auntie and uncle who were together for 20 years before they got married (second time for both of them) Grin

BlackeyedSusan · 17/04/2023 16:59

Twice. Would get married again if I met the right one. Depends what and when happens to number two as to whether I would consider a third time lucky.

I've been separated a long time and the children are nearly grown. I wouldn't bring anyone in while they are here as they are autistic and need the stability. Also the responsibility of parenting them would be tough on a new partner.

I may consider dating before they are fully independent. But take it very, very slowly. I don't think it would be a disaster if I never remarried.

ShandyQuaffer · 17/04/2023 17:04

Once. I’ve been happily married for two decades. If DH dies I won’t marry again- partly because I wouldn’t want another chap with all his habits and annoyingnesses, partly because I’ve been lucky to be married to a wonderful man and we have had a very happy life together. That will do me.

Pahpahpotato · 17/04/2023 17:21

Once. Am happily married and hope to remain so but if DH was to not be in the picture anymore, if not marry again. I have DC and wouldn’t have any more by anyone else, so there’s not really be much need to. I’d also be keen to protect what is mine for the sake of DC, and no man would ever come before that.
I would absolutely get into another relationship, possibly even live with someone else in time (and certainly after DC is an adult) but no, I wouldn’t marry again.

Stressfordays · 17/04/2023 17:23

Its a bit of a joke at my work place about 3rd time lucky as at least 6 women there are on their 3rd marriage! All of them appear to have found their 'one' in their early 50s and seem very happy.

I've been married and divorced once and I'm not keen on a repeat. I don't think I even want to live with another man tbh. I'm early 30s though so may change my mind.

HamBone · 17/04/2023 22:06

I don’t think I’d want to even live with a man again, tbh, it requires so much compromise. And my DH is easygoing. 😂

Dacadactyl · 17/04/2023 22:09

Once, unless I was widowed young.

Dacadactyl · 17/04/2023 22:09

God forbid.