Age you let your children do these things?

2kids2kids · 2023-04-08T09:23:17+00:00

name change but my children are still young (5&6) but after a play date yesterday me and the other mums got chatting about ages we would let our children do certain things. Those with other children who have already done these things, I would love to know what age you let them- have a tablet have a phone play date without you staying go outside to play without supervision cross the road have a sleepover Fully bath/shower themselves go downstairs in the morning without you getting up make their own breakfast

InDubiousBattle · 08/04/2023 14:14

My dc are 7&9. They don't have a tablet or phone and won't until year 6 (for phone anyway, they might never bother with a tablet). They've both had friends to sleep over but youngest hasn't stayed overnight at a friend's yet, eldest has and been to cub camp too. 9 year old can fully shower themselves, 7 year old still needs help with long hair. They haven't crossed a road alone yet I don't think, or played out much alone apart from in the garden. They've stayed at play dates without me since about 5 ish. They get up, go downstairs and make their own breakfasts now and have for probably a year or so.

Hellocatshome · 08/04/2023 14:17

have a tablet - about 7 I think it was very basic hand me down
have a phone _ 11th birthday
play date without you staying - 4
go outside to play without supervision - 7
cross the road - 8
have a sleepover - 7
Fully bath/shower themselves - 8
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5
make their own breakfast - 3

Comedycook · 08/04/2023 14:21

have a tablet 8/9 but with restrictions

have a phone end of year 6 so age 11

play date without you staying. 5/6 if I feel happy with the family.

go outside to play without supervision 11 but depends on DC. Dd is 12 but quite young so hasn't been out by herself yet.

cross the road. Depends....am I there in case they need guidance? What kind of road? Where are they going and who with etc?

have a sleepover older primary age as long as I know the family well. Any age with family... would only stay with my sister and I trust her to look after my kids at any age.

Fully bath/shower themselves 8ish

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 5/6 but keeping my bedroom door open so I can hear them but depends on the child.

make their own breakfast 8ish to do their own cereal. Older if using appliances such as toaster.

BettyBoopy · 08/04/2023 14:21

have a tablet -6 but only for long journeys and to do homework on.
have a phone - when they're 11
play date without you staying -5 if I know the family well
go outside to play without supervision -8
cross the road -8
have a sleepover -not yet!!
Fully bath/shower themselves -7
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up -6
make their own breakfast-7

WheelsUp · 08/04/2023 14:22

My children are teens so I will skip the tech questions as things were different 10 years ago but

play date without you staying - Reception age 4
go outside to play without supervision - depends where you live. I live on a quiet cul de sac
cross the road- depends how busy the road is. Nowhere more dangerous than crossing the road outside school at drop off/pick up time
have a sleepover - age 6
Fully bath/shower themselves - This is harder for girls because of the long hair issue but around the time that they start closing the door when they get changed so 7 (if they ask?)
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - age 4
make their own breakfast- age 4 if they eat cereal. Using toaster is a much older skill

Hercisback · 08/04/2023 14:24

have a tablet - had use of a family one since 2ish but not used often

have a phone - 11
play date without you staying-5
go outside to play without supervision-in the garden 3, not on our property 8/9
cross the road - depends on the road
have a sleepover - at a friends 8ish
Fully bath/shower themselves - 6
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5
make their own breakfast-4/5

MyMachineAndMe · 08/04/2023 14:24

have a tablet I think eldest was 5
have a phone eldest had started year 5 and was walking home by himself. Youngest was in year 4
play date without you staying I never had them and now they're old enough to take themselves to their mates' houses
go outside to play without supervision in the garden I think they were 3 and 5. In the street I think they were 7 and 5
cross the road when they walked home from school by themselves, so year 5
have a sleepover only dc 2 has had this as dc 1 isn't bothered. About 8 or 9
Fully bath/shower themselves from about 6 or 7
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 4 and 6 or possibly a year earlier
make their own breakfast as above. They only have cereal so it's not like they were frying eggs and bacon. Dc 1 is 12 now and can use the frying pan quite easily

Squiblet · 08/04/2023 14:27

Tablet - never. Maybe 15 if they really need it

Own phone - start of secondary school, so about 11.

Play date solo - age 3, with "best friend" from playgroup, because the mum and I did childcare swaps each week

Go outside to play without supervision - 9 or 10

Cross road - 10, although we had to bump that up to 11 when it became clear he was crossing without looking

Sleepover - 8 or 9 - but it depends very much on what they want themselves

Shower solo - 10 latest (DD needed help washing very long hair)

Go downstairs solo - this has never happened - they like a lie in

Make own breakfast - 10 or 11

CornishGem1975 · 08/04/2023 14:28

have a tablet - 10
have a phone - 11 (when starting secondary school)
play date without you staying - 5/6
go outside to play without supervision - 7/8 but within sight of the house, 11 further away from the house
cross the road - Depends what sort of road. Busy main road - 10/11, smaller residential road, 6/7.
have a sleepover - Depends on who with but around 7
Fully bath/shower themselves - 7 (just to make sure they're proper clean)
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5/6
make their own breakfast - My 3 year old gets his own breakfast now!

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 08/04/2023 14:31

DCs are 5.5/4/1.5

have a tablet - never
have a phone - probably 12ish but with strong parental controls and supervision
play date without you staying - 3, with a family I know well
go outside to play without supervision - 1.5 in our enclosed back garden for a few minutes at a time and more or less within earshot. Probably 8ish to play in the laneway.
cross the road - 5 for our very quiet road with great visibility (…and when I’m still nearby. I’m teaching her to learn to pay attention and be extremely cautious). Probably 10ish for the major road near us.
have a sleepover - 5
Fully bath/shower themselves - shower: 3, occasionally (default is still that I’m there). bath scares me on their own… probably not until they’re old enough for them to demand privacy.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - ugh I wish. I have friends who’ve managed this with their DCs from age 2. I’ve been trying to encourage it since around 4 but no luck so far!
make their own breakfast - same as above

OhMyCherriePie · 08/04/2023 14:32

have a tablet 4/5
have a phone 10/11
play date without you staying never
go outside to play without supervision never (main road London)
cross the road 11
have a sleepover never
Fully bath/shower themselves 7
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 7/8
make their own breakfast 7/8 just cereal

Oopswediditagain2023 · 08/04/2023 14:34

have a tablet - probably year 7 or when they need one for school

have a phone - year 4 or 5. I was around this age but it was because I spent a lot of time looked after by family and my mum wanted a quick way to keep in touch with me!

play date without you staying - 3 but depends on the child 😂

go outside to play without supervision - 3

cross the road - 4 / by the time they're in reception

have a sleepover - year 3 but again depends on the child

Fully bath/shower themselves - year 2 or 3

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4 or 5

make their own breakfast - 4 or 5 (but my three year old does her own cereal and milk now, she's just too small to open the fridge 🤣)

toodlesofoodles · 08/04/2023 14:35

have a tablet 4/5, can't really remember.
have a phone 10
play date without you staying 6
go outside to play without supervision garden about 4, street side 7
cross the road 6
have a sleepover 7
Fully bath/shower themselves 6
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up I can't remember how old because they just started doing it but probably around 6
make their own breakfast 7 (toast or cereal)

The sleepovers one the youngest any of them has slept somewhere is 7 but the mum is one of my best friends, school friends 8 or 9 and parents I know relatively well. Likewise to someone staying with us.

popandchoc · 08/04/2023 14:36

have a tablet - my youngest had an Amazon fire kids when she was 3.
have a phone - I’d say around 10 , eldest dd had one a bit early as we were in lockdown and I was fed up with her using one .
play date without you staying- mine have done this since around 3 if I know the parent.
go outside to play without supervision - around 10.
cross the road- around 10
have a sleepover 8 ish maybe when I know they won’t get home sick
Fully bath/shower themselves - my 7 year old is pretty good at this but do need to make sure she rinses .
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5 or 6 ? Mine have never wanted to go down without me
make their own breakfast - 8

yevrah1102 · 08/04/2023 14:38

I'm surprised how wildly different answers are!

My oldest is nearly 5 so I'll base off that:

have a tablet - 2/3
have a phone - probably 10/11
play date without you staying - 4
go outside to play without supervision - not sure yet. He plays in back garden (enclosed) unsupervised from 4
cross the road - 10?
have a sleepover - 9/10
Fully bath/shower themselves - 4
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4
make their own breakfast - 4

FlamingoYellow · 08/04/2023 14:38

I'm really interested in reading people's responses to this because DP and I have very different ideas of what our DCs should be doing independently.

have a tablet - 6
have a phone - 11
play date without you staying - whenever they felt comfortable, which was 7 or 8 for DC1 and 4 for DC2
go outside to play without supervision - 10 or 11
cross the road - depends on child but 7 if it's a quiet road and I'm nearby, 11 for a main road without an adult.
have a sleepover - whenever they say they want to!
Fully bath/shower themselves - 6
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - depends on the child but 5 or 6.
make their own breakfast - I would expect them to be capable of doing it by themselves at 6 but I wouldn't expect them to actually do it every day until they're 8 or 9.

mogtheforg3tfulcat · 08/04/2023 14:41

The spread here is really interesting! I have 2 DDs, 4&7

Tablet - age 2 for both
Phone - not yet but dd1 does have a smart watch which can text and make calls (got it age 6)
Play date without me - dd1 was 5 and dd2 did this two days ago for the first time (for both girls this was with close family friends)
Playing out - 7 (strict rules about where she can go)
Cross the road - 5 (crossing on her own but with me a safe distance away watching)
Sleepover - not yet
Fully shower themselves - dd1 could do this at 6 but I think dd2 will be older before she can manage to wash her own hair etc
Go downstairs in the morning without me getting up - not yet but that's mostly because it hasn't come up, I'd actually be ok with both kids doing this.
Make their own breakfast - 4ish

I think it's good to encourage kids to be independent from an early age within certain boundaries. I'm a teacher and it really surprises me when upper primary age children can't tie their shoelaces, open their own yoghurts and other basic life skills because they haven't been allowed to learn to do things for themselves.

prescribingmum · 08/04/2023 14:42

Mine are exactly same age as yours

Have a tablet - no intention to anytime soon although I do allow them to use mine on long flights

Have a phone - consensus at our primary tends is end of Y6 as preparing for secondary so this is what I have in mind. Things may change between now and then

Play date without you staying - been doing this since eldest was 3years old but known families

Go outside to play without supervision - if back garden, they already do (from around 4/5years old). If front garden, absolutely no intention to until 10/11

Cross the road - 10/11 years old when starting to go school alone

Have a sleepover - already do but again, with known families (ie families friends where children have grown up together)

Fully bath/shower themselves - already do (since 4 years old)

Go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - done since eldest was 4

Make their own breakfast - done since eldest was 4 (cereal and milk, no heating any food or drink)

User198446725689 · 08/04/2023 14:42

have a tablet - 2
have a phone - 12
play date without you staying - 5
go outside to play without supervision - 7
cross the road - 7
have a sleepover - 7
Fully bath/shower themselves - 5
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5
make their own breakfast - 3 for cereal, 5 for toast, 12 for a fry up

ShowOfHands · 08/04/2023 14:47

"play date without you staying never"

Really @OhMyCherriePie ?

DD is in y11 and doing GCSEs. Currently at her best mate's with 3 other 16yr old boys. They're doing Physics revision, have ordered pizza and will be playing Scrabble later before having a sleepover (something you also say you will never allow).

Even at 16? Even when able to make their own decisions about risk?

OhMyCherriePie · 08/04/2023 14:49

ShowOfHands · 08/04/2023 14:47

"play date without you staying never"

Really @OhMyCherriePie ?

DD is in y11 and doing GCSEs. Currently at her best mate's with 3 other 16yr old boys. They're doing Physics revision, have ordered pizza and will be playing Scrabble later before having a sleepover (something you also say you will never allow).

Even at 16? Even when able to make their own decisions about risk?

Why pick on my post? No they haven’t had a play date without me

Hellocatshome · 08/04/2023 14:49