Age you let your children do these things?

[2kids2kids]

name change but my children are still young (5&6) but after a play date yesterday me and the other mums got chatting about ages we would let our children do certain things. Those with other children who have already done these things, I would love to know what age you let them-

have a tablet
have a phone
play date without you staying
go outside to play without supervision
cross the road
have a sleepover
Fully bath/shower themselves
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up
make their own breakfast

have a tablet - started using the family tablet at about 4 and 3 but it's very old and not great but they use it a couple of times a week for games.
have a phone - planning on getting them phones in year 6
play date without you staying - it would depend on the house they were going to, they could do it now at 4 and 5 if it was a family we both knew well.
go outside to play without supervision - they do this now, started at about 3 and 4 with very minimal supervision, I would do jobs inside and keep half an eye on them out of the window
cross the road - hmm, 9ish maybe? Depends on the child I imagine
have a sleepover - went for their first sleepovers at 3 with grandparents. Maybe 8ish for with friends
Fully bath/shower themselves - 5 year old is nearly there now in the bath so probably 6 or 7
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - again, probably 7ish
make their own breakfast - they can do cereal themselves now at 4 and 5 but they aren't allowed to use the toaster or anything. And that's with us in the room to keep an eye. Maybe 7ish when they go downstairs on their own!

No need to be spikey! I too have a nd child. Your answers simply read as if you would never let them, not that they hadn’t yet! That’s why people were curious. No one was judging!

We never left our children alone at home at that age.
@merryhouse Never, until secondary? That would have been a huge change for DS to go from nothing to being home alone before and after school every day and whole days in the holidays at the same time as starting year 7.

have a tablet: around 6, but a basic kids one that had a few games/kids shows on it.

have a phone: not yet but at 10.5 we're quite close to it.

play date without you staying: in year 1 this became the norm (so 6)

go outside to play without supervision: we me peering out the window/following at a distance 6, just leaving the house whilst I was otherwise engaged...he still doesn't really.

cross the road: not yet (10.5)

have a sleepover: tried once at 7...total disaster, much easier aged 9+

Fully bath/shower themselves: 9

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up: 8

make their own breakfast: he's lazy so still doesn't do more than grab a cereal bar at 10.5 I'd allow it though.

have a tablet - 3 a kids kindle
have a phone -10/11 when walking to school on their own.
play date without you staying - 5
go outside to play without supervision - 5
cross the road - ? By themselves? Probably around 9/10 if theyvare out without an adult
have a sleepover - 4
Fully bath/shower themselves - probably around 6 or 7, DD is 5 and largely baths herself now, but she still needs help with her hair.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - since DD was 4
make their own breakfast - since she was 4

I've 3 dc so I'll let you know the youngest and oldest for each:

have a tablet
They all got their first tablet at about age 11yo for secondary. They've never really used it much though.
have a phone
All was the Christmas in year 5, so 9 or 10yo.
play date without you staying
Well they all did with people I was friendly with from about age 2yo, but their own friends oldest was 5yo, youngest 3yo.
go outside to play without supervision
Youngest 8yo, oldest 11yo (although that was at least partially to do with location of local friends)
cross the road
Dd1 and dd2 walked to school together in year 3 and 6 and had to cross several roads on their own.
have a sleepover
6yo youngest. 11yo oldest (hated being away overnight)
Fully bath/shower themselves
I wish ds did that now without nagging...
I'd say around age 5-7yo.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up
4-6yo, although the 4yo had big siblings to help.
make their own breakfast
4-6yo, although we left it all out the night before, so it was just a case of putting it together.

I will only answer 'make own breakfast'. They were 6 and what a god send that was. An extra couple of hours in bed was well worth the clean up!

I think as parents of younger DCs, you can have ideas about roughly when, but it is hard to imagine them as, say, a 10yo when they're currently 4yo. It's like before you have a baby talking with confidence that you'll never do XYZ/that you'll learn a new language in Mat leave etc. Life and reality cause a re-evaluation sometimes.
For us so far (DCs are fast approaching their 7th and 9th birthdays):

have a tablet - 2yo, but only for short periods on very long journeys (ie driving to southern France). They still rarely use it now outside of the journeys.

have a phone - had planned on when starting secondary, but DCs will be going to middle school which is a fairly long bus ride away (thanks to rural location). DD1 will get one for her 9th birthday, in readiness for middle school (and the bus!) in Sept. We aren't happy about it, but needs must. A friend's DD got off at the wrong stop when she started, and thanks to her phone was able to call and let her DM know. They tracked her phone and were able to find her 2 villages over.

play date without you staying - 5/6yo as long as I know the parents and DC is happy with it.

go outside to play without supervision - 10/11? We're not there yet. I would trust DD1 to walk to the park with friends alone already, but there is a very rough and rude group of village kids who hang around there, and my biggest concern is bullying from them.

cross the road - DCs have learnt to do this in Beavers, and it is re-covered in Cubs. There has been no need to do this alone yet, but DD1 will need to get home from the bus stop in Sept.

have a sleepover - 8, provided DC is happy to.

Fully bath/shower themselves - 8 if no hair involved. DCs have long 3c curls, so will need help with that for a bit longer.

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4yo

make their own breakfast - 4yo

To clarify, 'breakfast' is toast, cold cereal, or microwaved Wheetabix in our house.

DS is 9 and will always be an only child

have a tablet - he got my old tablet about 3 for educational apps but had it for YouTube when out before then.

have a phone - borrow mine for YouTube when out from being 2/3 maybe

play date without you staying - year 1 so maybe 6ish

go outside to play without supervision - 5/6 but we locked the gates at the top of the shared drive so although they weren't being watched they couldn't go anywhere
cross the road

have a sleepover - grandparents 6 months, godparents 3

Fully bath/shower themselves - 🤣🤣🤣 hes male and 9 I still shout instructions

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up -8

make their own breakfast - as above hes make it would be crisps and junk if I let him do that

My dc is nearly 7

have a tablet - 6, just a basic one for journeys etc
have a phone - 11
play date without you staying - 5
go outside to play without supervision - not sure, not for at least a couple of years
cross the road - not sure. Definitely not soon.
have a sleepover - 6. She's been to a few and had a few friends stay at ours.
Fully bath/shower themselves - maybe 7. I don't think she's far off.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up. Hoping 7!
make their own breakfast. Hoping 7

My kids are 12 and 14

Tablet I don't think they ever owned one of their own. We had a family one they would do bits and pieces on from school age (especially educational games) but we did get a games console when D's was about 6/7.
Phone was Xmas in year 6
Play date without staying, reception play outside was late as we don't live near any of their friends. We started by dropping them to a park near their friends houses with an agreed pick up time the summer term of year 6
Cross the road was year 5 - they were allowed to meet me at my car after school which meant crossing a small road. Sleepovers they were young - our friends and us took turns to have all the kids once a fortnight (so we had them once a month each - 4 kids total). I think the younger ones were probably 3yo. Bath themselves probably around 8
Go downstairs alone around 6
Make breakfast around 8 for something like cereal / hot cross buns. Using the cooker more like 11

Muy DC are 4 and 2 so a way off a lot of these yet.

have a tablet - DS got one for his 4th birthday. He doesn’t have unlimited access and it’s basically used instead of a TV for chill out time. He also has asked fucationsl games like Osmo.

have a phone - whenever they need one. I’d probably let them do the walk to school alone at about 10 (it’s about a mile and a half but there’s only one very minor country road to cross and the rest is footpaths on farmland) and I’d want them to have a phone then.

play date without you staying - depends if I know the parent? DS is very sensitive/highly strung (ASD) so I can’t imagine it happening for a while yet unless it was a fairly close friend of mine who knew him well. DD(2) I’d probably let go now tbh as long as I knew the parent, had seen their house etc.

go outside to play without supervision - they are capable of playing in the garden with minimal supervision now. DS I’d happily let play in the garden unsupervised. DD is a bit more adventurous so needs stopping from climbing/throwing herself off of things occasionally. If you mean not on the property then we’re a while off that. We’re lucky to be in the country though so it’ll probably be sooner than DCs in busy areas as we have fields/woods etc. that they’ll be able to explore in relative safety.

cross the road - depends what kind of road I think. They are very traffic aware but obviously too young to do anything alone currently!

have a sleepover - whenever they seem ready and want to.

Fully bath/shower themselves - 6? 7?

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - my 4yo could do this now if he wasn’t so scared of our stairs 😂

make their own breakfast - as above.wouldn’t want him using the toaster unsupervised but I’d be happy for him to help himself to anything cold.

We have a family I pad that they can use but it's mainly for if we are travelling.
We have only recently got it, eldest is 10, youngest 4.

Neither have a phone.

My eldest first stayed alone at a play date about aged 6. My youngest never has.

They don't play outside our garden unsupervised as there are no other kids around us and we live on a single track road with no path. My eldest would be allowed if this was different.

I'm always with my kids so they don't cross roads unsupervised but as above I would trust my eldest.

Eldest first had a sleepover at beavers around age 6. Youngest never has.

My eldest can bath/shower himself from age 8 ish.

They both sometimes get up and watch tv by themselves eldest from about 8 year.

They both can get themselves cereal, eldest can do toast etc but they do tend to wait for us.

Mine are 3 and 6

have a tablet - never. We have an old one that gets used as a radio. Eldest used to have one in lockdown, but we confiscated it once and found him much less moody, so we never gave it back and he never asks for it. I'm glad we don't have the aggro.

have a phone - 11th birthday. It will be very supervised. DH and I both work in professions where we see the fallout of social media use among teens.

play date without you staying - cousins they stayed from short periods from being toddlers. Friends: not sure. Maybe 7.

go outside to play without supervision - 4 in the back garden. On the street, probably about 8/9.

cross the road - around 8.

have a sleepover - maybe 10. Cousins probably 7/8.

Fully bath/shower themselves - wouldn't trust my eldest to wash thoroughly. Maybe 7.

go downstairs in the morning without you - definitely don't allow it now. They play in their bedrooms with the radio on if we're not ready to get up. Not sure when I will be happy for this tbh. Probably quite old

make their own breakfast - similar to the one above. 6yo has been capable of it for a while. I'd have to reorganise the kitchen or leave the things out ready as I don't want them climbing up to the wall cupboards.

Very late to this thread but will share my opinion anyway! I've got two 16-year-olds and a 14 year-old for reference.

Have a tablet: Mine got theirs at 9 but strictly for schoolwork and supervised by me.
Have a phone: Mine got theirs at 11.
Have a playdate without me staying: Mine did at 6 or 7 if I trusted the parents.
Going outside to play without my supervision: Twins did so at 4 or 5, only allowed this since they could look out for each other. Youngest at 7 with the twins' supervision.
Crossing the road: Did so at 6 with no issues.
Having a sleepover: Twins did at 6 or 7, youngest has no interest in sleeping at a friend's.
Fully bathing/showering themselves: Twins did at 9, youngest did at 7.
Going downstairs in the morning without me getting up: Twins did at 6 or 7, youngest at 5 with the twins' supervision.
Making their own breakfast: One of the twins could at 5 (just cereal), others preferred me to make it. Taught them all how to use the toaster and microwave at 10.

My children ar 7 and 2 so some of these we've done:
have a tablet 2yo
have a phone 11yo
play date without you staying 4yo
go outside to play without supervision 5yo
cross the road - is this on their own? Ifso maybe 8yo
have a sleepover 3yo
Fully bath/shower themselves 7yo
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 3yo
make their own breakfast 3yo

Mine are 12 and 10 now.

Have a tablet - They always had them as we just had iPads in the house.

Have a phone - About 8

Play date without you staying - 5

Go outside to play without supervision - 9 and 7 but that was because that's when we moved to a suitable area to play out.

Cross the road - As above.

Have a sleepover - 1 with family, 5 with their friends (although oldest never has)

Fully bath/shower themselves - 8

Go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 7

Make their own breakfast - 7 but it was just a crepe out the cupboard if we weren't up

My DC is six.

have a tablet - cannot ever imagine she'd need one, she'll get a laptop when the time comes for school work

have a phone - when she starts going to school by herself.

play date without you staying - from 5

go outside to play without supervision - not sure, depends on her maturity/responsibility

cross the road - ditto

have a sleepover - never except at her grandparents

Fully bath/shower themselves - from now I think she'd manage but we're still there to keep her company

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 6

make their own breakfast - 6