Age you let your children do these things?

[2kids2kids]

name change but my children are still young (5&6) but after a play date yesterday me and the other mums got chatting about ages we would let our children do certain things. Those with other children who have already done these things, I would love to know what age you let them-

have a tablet
have a phone
play date without you staying
go outside to play without supervision
cross the road
have a sleepover
Fully bath/shower themselves
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up
make their own breakfast

have a tablet- hand me down ipad at 6
have a phone- 8 (dumb phone as no house phone)
play date without you staying- 4
go outside to play without supervision- backyard 4, street 8
cross the road- 8
have a sleepover- 7
Fully bath/shower themselves- 4 with taps adjusted first, 7 independently
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up- no downstairs, but another room, 4
make their own breakfast- 4

have a tablet - access to one for 30 min, 3ish. Have their own, 9.
have a phone - 11, summer term of Y6
play date without you staying - summer of YR mostly. Earlier when mum was a personal friend
go outside to play without supervision -quite late, 9 maybe
cross the road - ability to judge car speed is poor before a developmental jump around age 10/11 so very little before this
have a sleepover - 7/8 with school friends
Fully bath/shower themselves - dunno, maybe 6?
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4
make their own breakfast - in stages from 3ish

For a lot of this stuff there are shades of grey. Having one shower by themselves is different to being completely responsible for cleaning themselves. Grabbing some cereal and pouring milk from a prepared small jug is different from using the toaster. Having a sleepover with cousins is different to school friends

Playdates and sleepovers when they wanted to. The road thing depends on the road. Playing outside unsupervised depends on the garden Tablet at maybe 5/6? Phone 10ish? Going downstairs depends on the child-probably 6 so long as no major hazards. Breakfast-cereal and milk 6 too.

Currently 5 and 6 year olds…

Realistically a lot of this depends on where you live, your house, if siblings or not etc.

Have a tablet - have had use of them since 3/4 years old but they don’t pay much attention to them or ask for them

Have a phone - hopefully not before starting secondary school age or just before so 10/11 years

Play date without you staying - 3 years

Go outside to play without supervision - 4/5 years - this one depends a lot on exactly where you live. Our road all the kids have been outside with limited supervision since around 4 years old, I can’t imagine doing that at the majority of my friends houses/roads

Cross the road - haven’t done this on their own yet, 7 years maybe

Have a sleepover - 3 years but not a regular thing other than with family. Friend sleepovers is a 6-7 year thing in our social circle

Fully bath/shower themselves - 4 years

Go downstairs in the morning without you
getting up - 4 years

Make their own breakfast - 4/5 years

have a tablet- can't remember
have a phone- 9
play date without you staying- 3
go outside to play without supervision-not something that's happened where we've lived.
cross the road-7
have a sleepover-5 ( trusted friends)
Fully bath/shower themselves- can't remember tbh.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up- I always got up.
make their own breakfast- 5 or 6 ish

My 8 year old does/has all of those.

I have 3 kids aged 11,10 and 7 - I will average out my answers as youngest dc inevitably did some stuff a bit younger than PFB ....

Have a tablet - Amazon fire kids tablet from about P1 so 4/5 ish

Have a phone - 11

Play date without parent - 5

Go outside to play without supervision - 6 (quiet cul-de-sac) or 3/4 in back garden with me pottering in and out.

Cross the road - 7/8 but depends on how busy the road is - something like a dual carriageway 9 or 10.

Sleepover - 10 with school friends, any age with family.

Fully bath/shower themselves - about 7? Dc3 still needs help with hair washing though and and older DC's need reminding to properly wash/rinse hair 🙄

Go downstairs in the morning - 5

Make own breakfast -5 (cereal) 7ish for toaster

The kids have had Amazon fire kindles since 3 but they really only use them for long journeys.

My kids are now allowed phones till 10. I see kids as young as 6 on

Mine are 6 and 8

have a tablet - never but they use our family tablet when we let them.

have a phone - in year 6 so they get used to using one before secondary school (but I plan to start with strict boudaries)

play date without you staying- 4 with people we know 6 with friends from school.

go outside to play without supervision - 8 near home (quiet roads)but my oldest chooses not to play outside alone.

cross the road - 6 being supervised - 8 to walk somewhere close alone (again residential area so quiet roads)

have a sleepover - assuming with friends age 7/8 but I’m picky about who I agree to.

Fully bath/shower themselves - 7 (but with reminders)
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - when they were 4 and 6

make their own breakfast- when they were 4 and 6

Sorry it posted to soon. I see kids as young as 6 glued to phones, staring at them across the road etc. I wouldn't entertain a child younger than 10 having a phone. Dc1 got one when he started going to the park with friends.

Play dates without me staying from 5 years old but only with people I know very very well. Other than that I stay.

Outside without supervision about 6 but I am watching from the window, I live in a family area with loads of parents and other kids who play together and I watch from the window. They can only go were I can see them and have been out with me for years before around this area. I wouldn't allow them if we didn't live in our street till much older though.

Cross the road. My quiet street at 6 other busier roads far older

My kids don't have sleepovers. Me and DH are not comfortable with them

Normally about 7 for shower/baths as I need to wash there hair before that. Doors are unlocked and slightly open and I am upstairs. Dc2 showers himself at 6 but I still help him with his hair.

About 9 for going downstairs themselves to get breakfast etc for dc1 but he has ASN so DC2 maybe younger as he is far more independent

About 7 to get own breakfast

This is all partly child dependent. Dc2 is far more capable and independent than dc1 was at the same age.

have a tablet - 10
have a phone - 12
play date without you staying - 5
go outside to play without supervision - 9
cross the road - 7
have a sleepover - 6
Fully bath/shower themselves - 5
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4
make their own breakfast - 6

@Hellocatshome we don’t have space to play on our front garden and the road isn’t safe to play on. My answer would be different with if we had a front garden

have a tablet - 7
have a phone - 16
play date without you staying - 5
go outside to play without supervision - 6
cross the road - 10
have a sleepover - 10
Fully bath/shower themselves -8
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up -5
make their own breakfast - 4

have a tablet - about 5 I think
have a phone - year 6
play date without you staying - year 6
go outside to play without supervision - year 6
cross the road - 12
have a sleepover - 4/5
Fully bath/shower themselves - about 5
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - about 7
make their own breakfast - about 7, cold breakfast - bacon etc not until 12/13

have a tablet - both DC have been able to use these from about 3. DC2 got a switch at Xmas when 4.5
have a phone - not yet for either. Oldest is 8
play date without you staying - depends who with. DC2 will now go to neighbour's house unsupervised at 4, nearly 5
go outside to play without supervision - almost 5 for both
cross the road - depends on the road. Both can cross road in our estate but I wouldn't want either crossing busy roads alone
have a sleepover - weeks old with grandparents!
Fully bath/shower themselves - dc1 can do this at 7/8
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 4, nearly 5, but DC1 also there (8). They get yoghurt/cereal for breakfast or DC1 makes toast
make their own breakfast - as above DC1 can do this, dc2 can get a yoghurt or pain au chocolat

have a tablet - we have family ones.
have a phone- year 6 but no social media and they didn't give their phone number to anyone they didn't trust not to pass it on. They're 14/16 and still have limited social media as they never really want to get involved.
play date without you staying - reception
go outside to play without supervision - never lived anywhere they wanted to do this. No friends on the street.
cross the road - once they could demonstrate they could do it safely and consistently. So right for a young age they told us when It was safe to cross rather than us just leading them all the time.
have a sleepover
Fully bath/shower themselves can't remember.
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up yr1.
make their own breakfast reception. Cereal, bowls, cups etcwould be on the table ready for for them to do.

have a tablet 4
have a phone 11
play date without you staying 4
go outside to play without supervision 4
cross the road 10
have a sleepover 8
Fully bath/shower themselves
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up- about 18 at this rate
make their own breakfast - 10

Ah I think I misread this as all one thing.

Fully bath/shower themselves
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up
----
Fully bath/shower themselves - without hair wash 6
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5

And out to play I thought garden. Live in city and won't play outside alone until high school age.

For context mine are nearly 7 & nearly 15

have a tablet - have a family tablet they could use from 4, own tablet DS1 got at 8, DS2 about to get one at 7 (lots of controls and limits though)

have a phone - secondary school with limits

play date without you staying - 4

go outside to play without supervision - we have a huge enclosed garden that is very safe so let the youngest go out from 2 with me popping out now and then to check on him, then from 4 without checking so much

cross the road - our road has no pavements and is a quite fast country lane where people often ignore the speed limits so DS1 was about 9 before I let him cross it on his own

have a sleepover - ds1 had his first one at 8, ds2 hasn't had one yet but I suspect any time from now (6)
He camped with beavers earlier than this though.

Fully bath/shower themselves
DS1 from 7, DS2 from 6

go downstairs in the morning without you getting up
Both from 3

make their own breakfast
Both from 4 have set everything up so it's easy for them to do this although sometimes need help with milk as we get the big 6pint bottles

You'll get different answers partly depending on how old the responder's kids are, tablets haven't been around that long!

have a tablet 10&12
have a phone 10 for secondary school, not smartphone
play date without you staying 5/6
go outside to play without supervision 4&6 rural, private no through road with speed humps
cross the road can't remember, 7 ish
have a sleepover 7 ish (not family)
Fully bath/shower themselves 7 ish
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 5
make their own breakfast 5

I've just realised there is a different interpretation of

go outside to play without supervision -
If you meant outside of our garden

Due to where we live that's not really been a issue in the past DS1 didn't go to school with anyone local until secondary so I had to drive him to meet mates, so he didn't want to go out in the village until secondary school
DS2 will probably let him go out with friends in the village at about 8 or 9 but would be wary of him crossing our road and getting back to our house

My eldest is almost 6:

have a tablet - toddler, we travel a lot
have a phone - probably around 10
play date without you staying - when they’re fully independent with the loo and definitely won’t need help with wiping so maybe 3.5 (although she was actually 4 because of covid)
go outside to play without supervision - never; we live in london, if they’re young enough to play, they’re not old enough to be out
cross the road - probably about 8/9
have a sleepover - 6
Fully bath/shower themselves - 7 for long hair washing, 5 if it’s just a shower
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up - 5
make their own breakfast - 5 if we’re talking basic stuff like getting a brioche roll out the packet or pouring milk on cereal

I'm not "picking on your post". I'm asking if you will do it at 16 as I'm simply curious. No obligation to answer.

have a tablet 4
have a phone 11
play date without you staying 5
go outside to play without supervision 6
cross the road 6
have a sleepover 7
Fully bath/shower themselves 6
go downstairs in the morning without you getting up 6
make their own breakfast 6

We live in a very quiet cul de sac.