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Original poster

4y/o excluded from school trip to zoo

119 replies

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:15

Hello, I’m a mother of a child in pre-school (PS) of a private school.

There is a class outing to the zoo on Monday and I was told on Friday at 3pm that they prefer “not to take him as it would be dangerous for him and his classmates” to do so.

They had told me on Wednesday that they may do so but when I told them that it is not a given that someone will be at home to stay with him, they said “oh we can see what to arrange”. So it was assumed that he would just stay at home(?).

He has been on outings before and used to regularly walk around the city with his classmates in the last year of crèche. I recognize that he is a boisterous 4y/o but nothing out of the extraordinary.

I’m curious to know what other parents/teachers think of this situation? As I’m not sure what to make of it.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 01/04/2023 21:16

Why cant they take him?

PaigeMatthews · 01/04/2023 21:17

I recognize that he is a boisterous 4y/o but nothing out of the extraordinary

I strongly suspect you are not realising how serious his behaviour issues are if the preschool is refusing to take him due to safety.

What do you mean by boisterous?

GoldenGorilla · 01/04/2023 21:18

That’s terrible. I’d honestly question whether it’s the right school.

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Freddiefox · 01/04/2023 21:18

Does he have support in nursery?

Freddiefox · 01/04/2023 21:20

I recognize that he is a boisterous 4y/o but nothing out of the extraordinary.

what type of behaviour do they have concerns about? Do you consider they would be able to keep him and the other children safe? Can you go with him to support your child?

elevenplusdilemma · 01/04/2023 21:21

Could you volunteer to attend with him so you are responsible for his well-being but he doesn't miss out.
To be fair to the preschool, a child that cannot be trusted to follow instructions / not run off / whatever the issue is is a risk to themselves and others (if the staff are being distracted by his behaviour the other children aren't able to be cared for properly).

sleepy78 · 01/04/2023 21:22

This is very strange... we must be missing some backstory...

Violethayes · 01/04/2023 21:22

Goodness me if you need the childcare that is most unreasonable of them! My son is also boisterous and bloody hard work but he hasn’t been excluded from any trips. Maybe if they had given you plenty of notice and a refund for that day but even so it’s very inconvenient.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2023 21:22

2 things.
One - if they can't take him, and you're paying for him to go there - then surely they have to sort something else for him?
2 - if they are saying he is too dangerous to take, then u would very much be listening to that and not dismissing it as ordinary boisterous behaviour, it clearly is not

Hotpinkangel19 · 01/04/2023 21:22

In the nicest way, he's not just a bit boisterous. These decisions aren't taken lightly, and they obviously feel his behaviour is a risk to him, and the other children, and that they can't confidently say that they feel they can keep him safe.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 01/04/2023 21:24

Is it that the class trip is for a slightly older age group but they usually take him?

CatOnTheChair · 01/04/2023 21:27

I think they should be expecting him to be in school the day of the trip but I think you should reevaluate ypur feelings about his behavior.
Either he is a typical 4 year old, and this isn't the school for him, or his behavior is extreme for a child of his age.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 01/04/2023 21:29

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Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 01/04/2023 21:30

Have they mentioned his behaviour in the past?

They need to provide childcare for you on Monday, even if he doesn’t go. Having said that, it must be pretty poor behaviour for that to happen. Perhaps seek advice from Health Visitors?

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 01/04/2023 21:31

I'd be interested to hear this from their point of view. I remember a mum wailing about her son being excluded for 'being a normal child' when the school said he couldn't come on the trip unless she came as his 1-1 chaperone. Said child bit, hit, kicked, pushed, pulled hair, screamed, ran off, couldn't listen to a single instruction. It was hard enough to keep other kids safe in the classroom never mind on a school trip.

He wasn't safe near roads as a flight risk, made it dangerous for other kids as he could literally push them into the road. School teachers didn't have the capacity to watch him like a hawk and look after the rest outside of the class setting.

LikeEmeraldeyes · 01/04/2023 21:32

I'd suggest that nursery need to consider providing 1:1 for the trip and also looking in to applying for an ehcp.
My son needs extra support on trips and always is in a group with a smaller amount of children

henchhen · 01/04/2023 21:37

So he doesn't have any SEN that you're aware of, doesn't need a 1-1 or anything like that? There must be more to this. If he's "typically" boisterous then surely they'd be excluding most of his peers too

massivenamechnage · 01/04/2023 21:38

Are they receiving 4 year old funding for him from the LA? (3/4 year old early education funding) If so they cant excuse him from this

Hiddenvoice · 01/04/2023 21:42

I would contact the nursery to find out more about this. Have they ever spoken to you about his behaviour? Does he receive any support? As a teacher, I feel they have done this as they are concerned about how he will manage the day. They may be worried about how he will react to a change in his normal routine. If they are taking a large group of children and feel they cannot dedicate one member of staff to him then they may feel it is safer for him and the other children for him not to attend.

I don’t agree that they should have told you this so late on. This should have been discussed with you much earlier and you should have been given the option for yourself or another family member to go with him.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:42

It would be “too dangerous for him and the other children”. I think they’re afraid they won’t be able to monitor properly.

OP posts:
Whinge · 01/04/2023 21:46

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:42

It would be “too dangerous for him and the other children”. I think they’re afraid they won’t be able to monitor properly.

You're being very vague. Surely you have an idea of why they think it's too dangerous?

I wonder if they've been trying to talk to you about his boisterous behaviour for a while, their concerns regarding the trip won't have come out of nowhere.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/04/2023 21:46

If they said this about my dd, I wouldn’t be pushing for her to go tbh as they’re telling you they can’t guarantee your ds’s safety.

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2023 21:47

OP, what sorts of things does he do that they are concerned about? Do they have a point? Is he difficult to manage?

Noicant · 01/04/2023 21:47

If nursery told me they couldn’t take Dd to safeguard her or others wellbeing I would be deeply concerned about exactly what his behaviour is like. You seem to think it’s normal they don’t, maybe have a sit down chat about exactly what their concerns are. They shouldn’t have told you so laye, perhaps you should offer to go as his chaperone so he doesn’t miss out. i feel for him, I wouldn’t want DD excluded from something like this.

Smartiepants79 · 01/04/2023 21:48

There must be more to this. Does he have a tendency to run off? Are there behaviour issues? I would assume some serious concerns for them to say that they can’t keep him safe and therefore can’t take him??
In this scenario I would have expected there to have been some ongoing concerns that have already been raised.
I’m also not sure that they ‘have’ to provide childcare. This is not a school, he is not compulsory school age. They may have to give back any money that’s been paid for the day but I’m not sure they have to have him.