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Original poster

4y/o excluded from school trip to zoo

119 replies

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:15

Hello, I’m a mother of a child in pre-school (PS) of a private school.

There is a class outing to the zoo on Monday and I was told on Friday at 3pm that they prefer “not to take him as it would be dangerous for him and his classmates” to do so.

They had told me on Wednesday that they may do so but when I told them that it is not a given that someone will be at home to stay with him, they said “oh we can see what to arrange”. So it was assumed that he would just stay at home(?).

He has been on outings before and used to regularly walk around the city with his classmates in the last year of crèche. I recognize that he is a boisterous 4y/o but nothing out of the extraordinary.

I’m curious to know what other parents/teachers think of this situation? As I’m not sure what to make of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:49

@Hiddenvoice Thank you. I appreciate the message. I understand the difficulty in managing a class of preschoolers (4y/o) and indeed, they could have forewarned so we could have arranged to go and chaperone. He has never had or needed assistance in the past. He went regularly on outings with his nursery group. His behavior has never been addressed to date (there gave been a couple of incidents re.pushing other kids but he equally has been pushed).

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 01/04/2023 21:51

They clearly think his behaviour is different to the behaviour of his classmates. What communication have you had about that previously?

lunar1 · 01/04/2023 21:51

Have the school really not been more specific with their concerns?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Childcare & nursery Families General education
Mariposista · 01/04/2023 21:53

Sounds like he is really badly behaved and would spoil it for all the other children and drain adult resources keeping him under control.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:53

That is exactly the problem: if there is an issue with his behavior - to date - it has not been addressed with us. There has been some pushing, but equally he had been pushed..

OP posts:
bluesky45 · 01/04/2023 21:57

This is a class trip for his class of 4 year olds. They feel comfortable taking all the other 4 year olds. So why does his behaviour mean that he can't go if it's the same as the other 4 year olds? Clearly, his behaviour is much more of a concern to the nursery than the other children's behaviour. You need to have a serious conversation with the nursery about what is the concerns and what support can be put in place for him.

Whinge · 01/04/2023 21:58

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 21:53

That is exactly the problem: if there is an issue with his behavior - to date - it has not been addressed with us. There has been some pushing, but equally he had been pushed..

I'm sorry OP but you don't suddenly go from no behaviour concerns other than some pushing, to staff suggesting it would be dangerous to a child and his classmate if they were to attend a trip.

There has to be more to this. How often is he pushing, and what other boisterous behaviours have you / pre-school witnessed?

Hiddenvoice · 01/04/2023 21:59

As other people have said, it sounds like there is more to his behaviour. Hopefully they have spoken to you about it before now. If they can’t guarantee his safety then I wouldn’t be pushing for him to go unless I could attend with him. I’d feel awful in my child was missing out but if it kept them safe then I’d feel better about it. I would then speak to the nursery and school about what they will do going forward as they cannot keep excluding him from things, they need to put in support to include him.

Sugarfree23 · 01/04/2023 22:00

I think they are in the wrong for telling you so late. They have deliberately told you at the last minute to avoid you arguing.

But you do need to get to the bottom of his behaviour. He might have been safe going out with nursery because of the staffing ratios.

cathcath2 · 01/04/2023 22:01

Either they have major concerns about his behaviour (in which case they should have talked to you before this) or they are over ratio for Monday and are trying to find a few parents who will keep their child off.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:01

@Sugarfree23 yes, agree with your points.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 01/04/2023 22:02

PaigeMatthews · 01/04/2023 21:17

I recognize that he is a boisterous 4y/o but nothing out of the extraordinary

I strongly suspect you are not realising how serious his behaviour issues are if the preschool is refusing to take him due to safety.

What do you mean by boisterous?

Exactly my thoughts.

Especially ''Dangerous to others.

That implies hurting or putting other children in harm's way.

''Boisterous'' Implies unmanageable behaviour.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:03

@cathcath2 that is what it feels like, because it seems all put of the blue/not adding up. Either way we need to sit down with the teachers.

OP posts:
AdaBrady · 01/04/2023 22:09

This doesn’t make sense.

What was the actual conversation?

”Little Timmy and a really looking forward to visiting the zoo with his class next week”.
“Oh I’m afraid Timmy won’t be going as he’s a danger to himself and his classmates”
”Ho hum, I’ll have to arrange childcare which will be a bother”.

Goldbar · 01/04/2023 22:10

It's not acceptable to tell you at 3pm on Friday. I would have told them that they can take him to the zoo on Monday or not, but he will be dropped as normal as you need the childcare.

If they have serious concerns about his behaviour compared to the other children/the school's suitability for him, then they need to schedule a meeting with proper notice to address these issues in a more structured way. Not just exclude him from a school trip on a weekend's notice and expect you to magic up alternative childcare.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:12

@Goldbar yes and yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:13

@AdaBrady it was a four liner email.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 01/04/2023 22:14

This might sound crazy but why didn’t you do the obvious and ask when they told you on Friday at 3pm? If I was told my slightly boisterous but not badly behaved child, who I’d never had a complaint about, couldn’t go on a school trip because the teachers believed he’d be a risk to himself and other children I’d immediately be asking ‘excuse me, what? Why, what has happened? Could I have a meeting to discuss why he is being excluded, this is all news to me as I’ve never known he had any behaviour issues.’

Kanaloa · 01/04/2023 22:15

And they also spoke to you on Wednesday, giving you two days of drop offs and collections to discuss this. I’m a bit confused as to why you haven’t asked them what is going on. It would be a priority for me.

Original poster
Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:16

@Kanaloa I hear you. It was a four liner email sent at 3pm. I saw it as I arrived at the school for pick up at 4pm and asked to see the teacher but she had already left for the weekend.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 01/04/2023 22:17

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:16

@Kanaloa I hear you. It was a four liner email sent at 3pm. I saw it as I arrived at the school for pick up at 4pm and asked to see the teacher but she had already left for the weekend.

But you were aware of some issue on the Wednesday previous, because they had mentioned they may not take him then. Why was this not an issue at that time? Did you not see any staff between Wednesday and Friday?

AdaBrady · 01/04/2023 22:22

Bbblacksheep · 01/04/2023 22:13

@AdaBrady it was a four liner email.

Sent on Wednesday or Friday?

When you were told on Wednesdya that there was a chance he’d be excluded from the trip, was that via email or in person? How did you respond?

Justalittlebitduckling · 01/04/2023 22:24

The school has not been communicating with you well enough if there are concerns about your child’s behaviour that are serious enough to exclude them from a trip and this is a surprise to you.

SparkyBlue · 01/04/2023 22:29

OP the school have handled this really badly. I've a child with additional needs and I've never ever had a situation like this happen so I'd say your son's behaviour must be really out of the ordinary or they are just an absolutely terrible school. Either way id be requesting a meeting and looking at other schools as this is an awful thing to do to a young child. I'm assuming all the talk on Friday was about the upcoming trip to the zoo so your son must be looking forward to it.

Whatisthisanyidea · 01/04/2023 22:30

Had they tried to call prior to sending the email? Did you not ask to speak to the head?

Either way I think you are minimizing his behaviour!

In schools I’ve worked at we didn’t take kids with behavior issues in trips unless we had extra staff to supervise or additional parents, or the child had a parent attend. If no one was available the child went to another class for the day.

Say for children for various reasons didn’t attend religious trips.