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Original poster

What were your problems 10 years ago and where are you now?

111 replies

CandleInTheStorm · 01/04/2023 20:50

I was late 20s, starting to get very unhappy in my marriage (had been together 8 years) and had 2 kids who were then 4 and 6. Had no career as I had been a SAHM and worked part-time for my then DH in his self-employed business. Everything was in his name, and I felt very trapped with no real sense of self.

Now, I've been divorced 8 years, dc are 14 and 16, and doing well. 16 year old about to leave school. I have built my own career over the past 8 years, got qualified, and am now completely financially independent. I had a relationship since, but when that ended, I became very happily single and content alone, which is a first for me since I was a teen.

Where you then and where are you now?

OP posts:
Rayn22 · 01/04/2023 21:09

10 years ago I had my own business which went under in 2018.
Went back into teaching. I feel old and knackered but still have hope and dreams!

Pootlie · 01/04/2023 21:13

I had no problems 10 years ago! Although I was struggling to conceive now I think about it. All well now
DC is 6.

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 01/04/2023 21:17

Down South with an awful husband renting and a sahm. Worrys of never owning a home and money.

Now up North with a good job , own my own home amd a lovely DH.
Unfortunately dd has severe mental health issues thats my main worry now.

Hedjwitch · 01/04/2023 21:20

10 years ago Ds was a desperately unhappy school refuser,overweight,bullied and unhappy. Today a talented musician,handsome,happy and doing what he loves.

I am earning almost 20K a year more than I was then, in a more senior and settled job.

On the minus side,I have fibromyalgia, dad has passsed away and mum is elderly and fragile.

AnuSTart · 01/04/2023 21:21

10 years ago, minimum wage job, with an emotionally distant and dysfunctional gambler DH. Renting, lots of debt. Kids and misery.

Now, own my own home, new DH, 6 figure salary of my own. DH too. Kids thriving.

Now I think about it, my life is so much better. Makes my day. Thanks for starting this thread.

Nottodayplease36 · 01/04/2023 21:21

I was in a horrible relationship with three young children and had just stared a college course in the hope of having an actual career. Ex had severe mental health issues and I was terrified leaving him might result in him harming himself.

I went to uni from college and done a degree, now have a good career. Eventually left ex, bought my own house and have three older teenagers. It’s been a tough 10 years but I’m go glad I got out that relationship.

Bodybags · 01/04/2023 21:27

10 years ago I had a new baby after years of infertility and then multiple miscarriages.

We were ecstatic.

On return to work after that Mat leave I would be be forced to leave my job of 20 years because of childcare costs and an inflexible manager.

10 years on, my gorgeous 10 year old is the light of my life, I’m in a job earning more than I have ever earned, life is bloody fantastic.

Gufo · 01/04/2023 21:30

Two under two! Preteens are much less problematic (some days).

Trying to maintain my career. Since then I've changed this completely.

TokyoSushi · 01/04/2023 21:32

I was pregnant, had a 1 year old, a DH who worked 16 hours a day as a chef, we lived in a tiny, damp 2 bed house and I had the type of job that made you feel constantly low level sick.

10 years on we have a 9 & 11 year old, live in a lovely 4 bed house and have a very good household income which allows us to live a great life while both working from home. I would never have dreamed of that 10 years ago!

VioletViolets · 01/04/2023 21:32

10 years ago I was self-employed, struggling with burnout, in a lot of debt, had a terrible relationship with my family and some major health problems that meant I would potentially never have children.

I now earn £52k in a job I love, have zero debt although about to buy our first home and take on a mortgage, my health problems are 100% better and we are TTC - at a fairly old age, but you never know.

10 years ago me would not believe any of that if you told her it.

VioletViolets · 01/04/2023 21:33

Oh and I forgot to say I have a genuinely brilliant relationship with my family now!

FusionChefGeoff · 01/04/2023 21:38

Oooh great thread!

I was on Mat leave with DS1 and had secured a promotion to go back to.

However, his birth, the lack of routine and now this added pressure was what had also / was soon to accelerate my problem drinking into alcoholism but I'd yet to admit it.

This year I will be 10 years sober, with 2 DC who will hopefully never know me with a drink. DH stuck by me, I make amends to him as often as I can and I now live very very differently.

However, I'm switching between binge eating / bulimia and severely restricting food so still have serious issues that no one really knows about. These ones don't have such fat reaching consequences for others, though, so I kid myself it's not the same as before.

Original poster
CandleInTheStorm · 01/04/2023 21:49

Nice to see so many have more positive situations 10 years later!

OP posts:
PaperNests · 01/04/2023 21:52

Oh no I've just realised I still have the same problems as 10 years ago. If anything things are worse. I'll try and get inspiration from everyone else.

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 01/04/2023 21:55

Early 30s, great new job and having grim fertility investigations because I was struggling to conceive dc2.

Now early 40s, have changed job, but still love it and most importantly dd2 is now 9.

AndTheListGoesOn · 01/04/2023 22:01

I didn't have any real problems 10 years ago. I was late 20's, just graduated from uni and was building my career. However, although happy, I was single and wondered if marriage and kids would be part of my future. In the past 10 years I've met and married DH and had 2 beautiful DC. I'm now late 30's and this decade has definitely been the most life changing for me.

JamSandle · 01/04/2023 22:03

Ten years ago I was 23 and travelling the world. No problems really.

33 now...relationship stuff and itchy feet! Career is good though!

thebear1 · 01/04/2023 22:08

No major issues, was pregnant with ds2 whose 10 soon. Went back to same role after mat leave. Still doing it but facing redundancy. What was better then is that my parents health was still good. Now I'm watching them age quickly.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 01/04/2023 22:37

10 years ago I was fighting a nasty disease that resulted in major surgery whilst trying to work full time as the bread winner with three young dc and a husband.

Also we're loving In our house that was a wreck and we were renovating at that time.

Working at the time for someone else with no flexibility and shit pay

Now

Kids are adult and teens.
House is amazing after ma y years of hard work.

I now have my own business a d I'm earning more than I would ever imagine I would do.

Dh is in an amazing job earning really well and it's resulted in us having a fantastic life

Our dc are thriving and doing really well

My d parents have both had big health issues so sadly I'm having to do a lot more for them so it's quite stressful at times and having your own business means you never switch off but life is currently much better

PapadamPreach · 01/04/2023 22:49

Ten years ago I had lost my job (redundancy, but hadn’t been there long enough for a payment), money was a massive struggle, and I was living in a tiny apartment that was in negative equity with interest rates that kept rising and rising (not UK) and up to my neck in bills.

I was struggling with making a decision around whether to have children or not.

Ten years on, I’m working in a job I accidentally fell into that turned out to be a near perfect match for my skills and personality. I’m earning far more than I ever thought imaginable, live in a really stunning house, have a little property portfolio on the go, and am very happy about the decision I made regarding children.

I don’t imagine things will always be this good, but I hope that I’ll always remember that a lot can change over a relatively short period of time and take strength from that of things to belly-up again.

blackheartsgirl · 01/04/2023 22:52

I was in an abusive relationship ten years ago, finally got free, met and married my late dh and now ten years on I’m a widow with 4 children.

my life is still full of strife but it’s taught me lot about myself,

delilabell · 01/04/2023 22:56

10 years ago I was on good money buy was facing a diagnosis of infertility.
Now I am on half the money I earned buy have got a son (through adoption) and a daughter who was an extra suprise.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 01/04/2023 23:07

Ooh, great idea for thread. DH had been made redundant, and post the 2008 economic crisis we were trapped in a house in an area we hated with an awful school catchment.

FF 20 years, DH has a good job, but my career has really taken off. We've moved to a lovely area with excellent school catchment. DC thriving at school. On the face of it life is lovely compared to 10 years ago, but we've had some heartbreaking personal tragedy along the way.

maeveiscurious · 01/04/2023 23:12

10 years ago 1 year with incurable cancer diagnosis and young DCs. Now 11 years with incurable cancer diagnosis and looking at Unis for DCs.

thisisasurvivor · 01/04/2023 23:15

Ten years ago
Mid way through my doctorate battling with low self esteem

Ten years later
Launched own business
Two beautiful kids

Self esteem still rock bottom

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