What were your problems 10 years ago and where are you now?

[CandleInTheStorm]

I was late 20s, starting to get very unhappy in my marriage (had been together 8 years) and had 2 kids who were then 4 and 6. Had no career as I had been a SAHM and worked part-time for my then DH in his self-employed business. Everything was in his name, and I felt very trapped with no real sense of self.

Now, I've been divorced 8 years, dc are 14 and 16, and doing well. 16 year old about to leave school. I have built my own career over the past 8 years, got qualified, and am now completely financially independent. I had a relationship since, but when that ended, I became very happily single and content alone, which is a first for me since I was a teen.

Where you then and where are you now?

Name changed for this.
10 years ago (almost to the day) I was made redundent. 3 months after, DH was cycling to work and hit by a car and ended up with severe head wounds. He was a completely changed person afterwards, very violent to me and our child, unable to work and couldn't manage day-to-day living. He was eventually permanently placed in a long term care facility as I couldn't care for him at home. I couldn't see how to move my life forward and my religion forbade me to divorce him - not that I wanted to as such, but it was an extra complication.
I eventually moved to a different area and 10 years on I'm in a steady relationship but I still have bouts of guilt, and I've no idea what the future holds.

@YukoandHiro yes agreed and I think the effects of that are just coming out BUT we actually had a wonderful time as a family throughout. She was very happy and we had a lot of fun.

What she missed out on was time with peers and learning to socialise in formative years. She is good at it but I think there are nerves there that wouldn't be otherwise.

newborn single parent, MH problems, useless ex with MH problems, health issues due to PND and stress, longterm undiagnosed other problems i kept hiding from too scared to address.

still a LP but have managed to sort out all of the above (save useless ex!). Still trying to get career on preferred track although I am a somewhat successful professional, and things not 100% easy but I have done a lot of therapy and other stuff so have turned a massive corner for myself. My DD is now 10 and so much easier. Life has its ups and downs and as a LP is stressful but I have good reason to be proud of my achievements despite really tough circumstances.

@DoNotTouch please don't feel guilty about this. I'm glad you have a new relationship. I hope you are feeling better in yourself.

10 years ago I was very lonely. I'd finished uni. Had a good job and worked a lot but felt friendships were drifting. Took me a little while to realise I was lonely.

I now am married with 2 children (6&4). Don't get time to be lonely now.

Early 30's, had one DC who was 3 and wanted another baby. DP really wasn't keen on having another, lots of discussions about it.
We had the second child & DP is wrapped round her little finger. 🤣

I was thinking pregnant with DS and had a bitch of a boss who would regularly reduce me to tears.

10 years on:
Work in a different organisation with a much nicer boss.

DS is 9, delightful and full of beans.

Healthwise, In perimenopause and currently dealing with a bitching hormonal migraine....

@DoNotTouch
Thankyou. I'll survive and eventually move on, but I feel so guilty sometimes wishing my husband would die. He became what he is and lost everyting through no fault of his own.

Sorry, that message previous message from me was for @goldenotter

Apologies for being an idiot

Ten years ago, happy with dh and dc.
Nowadays happy with dh and dcs grown up and doing well.
Thank god

I was in my late 20s. Desperate to move out of our damp one bedroom flat so we could try for a baby, but unable to find an affordable house. I was in a job that paid quite well but made me so stressed and unhappy. Binge drinking at the weekends to try and cheer myself up.

10 years on we are in a lovely 3 bedroom house with two kids. I have a part time job that I really enjoy. I earn less but my partner has been promoted a few times so we are better off overall. My free time is minimal but I enjoy doing stuff with the kids while they are still little and cute. Relationship is in a bit of a slump but I'm sticking with it for now.

I find it hard to imagine what things will be like in another 10!