Page 31 | Mumsnet “norms” that annoy you most

usernamechanged1 · 2023-03-31T20:27:06+00:00

For me it’s the utterly obscure baby names. We’ve all seen them and I’m quite sure nobody uses them in real life. Yet on MN, it’s apparently standard. Honourable mention to the 50% of posters whose husbands are earning upwards of £100K too.

CoffeeWithCheese · 01/04/2023 18:45

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pictoosh · 01/04/2023 18:48

People telling others to kick their wayward 18 yr olds out because he/she is an adult now.
Like they fucking would.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 18:48

Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

Written from a totally privileged or insensitive or ignorant (take your pick) position. Yes you're BU. No it's not only on MN some people have these (rational) fears either.

PuppyMonkey · 01/04/2023 18:49

User5464245 · 01/04/2023 18:40

People being "traumatised" by smear tests. Do not know anyone in real life who cannot handle smears, especially considering they are a crucial and potentially life-saving procedure. However on MN it's been vilified as a procedure that is akin to abuse. It's undignified and potentially painful and for some people could trigger past issues, but at the end of the day it's an unavoidable medical checkup for a part of your body that you can't do otherwise.

Many MN smear discussion threads probably puts off a lot of women getting their checkups which is dangerous. Each one descends into hysteria with each poster writing about how horrific their experience was. Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

Just come back to this silly thread and see the twats are truly out as I suspected they would be.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 18:50

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 18:40

I've never written a reverse so not speaking about myself. I can write about something from other people's point of view and experience. But you're right, you know it all and have seen it all so your opinion and "respect" (🤣) trumps all.

I'm going to carry on with the OP and leave you to it. Enjoy your day.

I can write about something from other people's point of view and experience.

Er, can you? You think people hate reverses "just to hate them" and because they've been "caught out". Does that even faintly resemble anything I've actually said?

That's exactly what's wrong with reverses. People think they're so good at being someone else, but their biases are unavoidable. They neither understand nor want to be fair to the person they're lying about being. (If they wanted to, they wouldn't lie about being them.) So they present it in a ridiculous way and yet somehow think it's more objective than being honest about who they are.

Would you trust me to pretend to be you when asking other people what they think about this discussion? Somehow I doubt it.

MotherofBingo · 01/04/2023 18:51

User5464245 · 01/04/2023 18:40

People being "traumatised" by smear tests. Do not know anyone in real life who cannot handle smears, especially considering they are a crucial and potentially life-saving procedure. However on MN it's been vilified as a procedure that is akin to abuse. It's undignified and potentially painful and for some people could trigger past issues, but at the end of the day it's an unavoidable medical checkup for a part of your body that you can't do otherwise.

Many MN smear discussion threads probably puts off a lot of women getting their checkups which is dangerous. Each one descends into hysteria with each poster writing about how horrific their experience was. Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

Well good for you I'm glad you - and all the women in your life who are obviously comfortable enough to discuss their smear tests with you - are able to handle that. I happen to know someone who has severe PTSD and can't 'handle' a smear test (along with many other necessary medical procedures. Maybe you could just think yourself lucky you don't have to have to suffer the same way and are able to go and have those life saving tests without difficulty.

Of course nobody should be put off having a smear test, they are important and for most women they will be quick and relatively painless - that doesn't mean we should discount the experiences of many women who aren't that lucky.

FloralWallpaper492 · 01/04/2023 18:54

User5464245 · 01/04/2023 18:40

People being "traumatised" by smear tests. Do not know anyone in real life who cannot handle smears, especially considering they are a crucial and potentially life-saving procedure. However on MN it's been vilified as a procedure that is akin to abuse. It's undignified and potentially painful and for some people could trigger past issues, but at the end of the day it's an unavoidable medical checkup for a part of your body that you can't do otherwise.

Many MN smear discussion threads probably puts off a lot of women getting their checkups which is dangerous. Each one descends into hysteria with each poster writing about how horrific their experience was. Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

@User5464245 they are actually a pretty awful experience for some people! I've tried about 4 times over the last 18 months to get one done and still haven't been successful yet

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 18:56

Er, can you? You think people hate reverses "just to hate them" and because they've been "caught out". Does that even faintly resemble anything I've actually said?

Somehow, I'm sure I didn't write this about you because it was written before you responded to me. Just wanted to clarify incase you've misplaced your anger. If it isn't what you do, why take it so personally? Some people do. Some don't. Things aren't always black and white and that has been my position since you started replying to my posts and being quite unpleasant while at it but I know your username and it's on brand.

Again, your opinion - that's fine. Trying to ram it down my throat won't help.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 19:01

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 18:56

Er, can you? You think people hate reverses "just to hate them" and because they've been "caught out". Does that even faintly resemble anything I've actually said?

Somehow, I'm sure I didn't write this about you because it was written before you responded to me. Just wanted to clarify incase you've misplaced your anger. If it isn't what you do, why take it so personally? Some people do. Some don't. Things aren't always black and white and that has been my position since you started replying to my posts and being quite unpleasant while at it but I know your username and it's on brand.

Again, your opinion - that's fine. Trying to ram it down my throat won't help.

I thought you were leaving this discussion? You've said so about three times now. If you can't be accurate about yourself, how are you going to be accurate when pretending to be someone else?

From your ongoing posts, I take it that you wouldn't trust me to do a fair job pretending to be you! Yet you, with all your overt dislike, could totally be fair to me...

stayathomer · 01/04/2023 19:06

People telling others to kick their wayward 18 yr olds out because he/she is an adult now.
Like they fucking would.
Dh was telling me before a guy in his class was sent packing the day after his exams finished. He went to stay in various friends’ houses over the next few months. Not a trouble maker, he said, a really nice, quiet guy. He doesn’t know what happened afterwards. The guy was in bits, said his parents always joked they’d pack his suitcase and he was gobsmacked when they did it.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:06

Would you trust me to pretend to be you when asking other people what they think about this discussion? Somehow I doubt it

"Trust"? I don't know you.

I'd not mind if I see that you're stating facts and using opinions to understand my position.

I'd mind if I see that you're lying about what happened (or perceiving/interpreting something else like you've done with "agree to disagree" also being about respecting opinions rather than simply disagreeing and leaving it at that, and claiming I said something about what you wrote when I didn't) just to make yourself look better.

People do both but if you've never come across the former, oh well. That could be why you find it difficult to accept the possibility.

Feel free to doubt, it's fine too.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:08

From your ongoing posts, I take it that you wouldn't trust me to do a fair job pretending to be you! Yet you, with all your overt dislike, could totally be fair to me...

From your misrepresentation of facts so far, I couldn't trust you to "take anything" from anything I said. It would be totally skewed.

TortolaParadise · 01/04/2023 19:09

FKATondelayo · 01/04/2023 09:33

Yes, house prices were lower but so were incomes and interest rates were 8%+.

There was also widespread misselling of mortgages in the 80s where people paid into an equity fund instead of paying off capital and lost money (can't remember the name of these and google is not helping).

And negative equity and repossessions. My SIL lost £30k (about half of value) on her house when she divorced.

Endowment ??

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 19:14

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:08

From your ongoing posts, I take it that you wouldn't trust me to do a fair job pretending to be you! Yet you, with all your overt dislike, could totally be fair to me...

From your misrepresentation of facts so far, I couldn't trust you to "take anything" from anything I said. It would be totally skewed.

You're complaining about misrepresentation while arguing in favour of reverses?

And you do that after misrepresenting people's dislike of reverses as being "just to hate them" or because they got "caught out"? (Whatever that means...)

xogossipgirlxo · 01/04/2023 19:14

User5464245 · 01/04/2023 18:40

People being "traumatised" by smear tests. Do not know anyone in real life who cannot handle smears, especially considering they are a crucial and potentially life-saving procedure. However on MN it's been vilified as a procedure that is akin to abuse. It's undignified and potentially painful and for some people could trigger past issues, but at the end of the day it's an unavoidable medical checkup for a part of your body that you can't do otherwise.

Many MN smear discussion threads probably puts off a lot of women getting their checkups which is dangerous. Each one descends into hysteria with each poster writing about how horrific their experience was. Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

I think most people handle them fine and we don't hear anyone talking about how good their tests went and how nice the atmosphere was. It's always people who have bad experiences, post on forums. Same with people suffering tinnitus- people who don't have it, don't talk about it. Those who can't get rid of it (and it's probably small percentage) do. Hence your impression that everyone on MN hates them. Let's not judge women who were sexually abused etc. I never was and never want to be in their shoes.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:19

And you do that after misrepresenting people's dislike of reverses as being "just to hate them" or because they got "caught out"? (Whatever that means...)

This is either an outright lie or misinterpretation due to not paying attention to the post your quoting, and picking out a part of a sentence instead of the full one. The reason for this is obvious.

I'm beginning to see why you're so against reverses. It takes one to know one and you probably don't like someone doing to you what you to to others. Classic.

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 01/04/2023 19:22

User5464245 · 01/04/2023 18:40

People being "traumatised" by smear tests. Do not know anyone in real life who cannot handle smears, especially considering they are a crucial and potentially life-saving procedure. However on MN it's been vilified as a procedure that is akin to abuse. It's undignified and potentially painful and for some people could trigger past issues, but at the end of the day it's an unavoidable medical checkup for a part of your body that you can't do otherwise.

Many MN smear discussion threads probably puts off a lot of women getting their checkups which is dangerous. Each one descends into hysteria with each poster writing about how horrific their experience was. Probably BU but anxiety, shame and fear of pain are simply not valid excuses for not getting smears.

How is a smear test an "unavoidable medical checkup"? Of course it's avoidable. and any reason not to want one is a valid reason.

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 19:26

DragonbornMum · 01/04/2023 18:39

I had no idea this was such a controversal idea! My husband and I have tracked each other since we dating (his idea), and it's nothing more than really handy! I don't have to spend my afternoon texting "are you still at work? are you still at work? are you still at work?"

Show quote history

If someone I was dating suggested tracking je theh wouldn't see me for dust

Stalker alert!

Also what would you spend all afternoon text someone to see of they're stil at work?!

Why would you need to know so badly you'd spend all afternoon sending unanswered texts?

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 19:29

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:19

And you do that after misrepresenting people's dislike of reverses as being "just to hate them" or because they got "caught out"? (Whatever that means...)

This is either an outright lie or misinterpretation due to not paying attention to the post your quoting, and picking out a part of a sentence instead of the full one. The reason for this is obvious.

I'm beginning to see why you're so against reverses. It takes one to know one and you probably don't like someone doing to you what you to to others. Classic.

A lie? It's exactly what you said. I actually scrolled up to check. That's what you gave as people's reasons for hating reverses, direct quotes. Anyone on the thread can check. Who's lying?

And as someone who hates reverses, I object to those being given as my reasons. I'm glad you're beginning to see why I hate them. But why are you only now starting to understand it when I've stated it clearly several times now? Someone as attuned to different viewpoints and voices as you claim to be?

And you're complaining about misrepresentation?

icanneverthinkofnc · 01/04/2023 19:33

Hmm...MN norms..
Competitive undereating..the obesity crisis in this country suggests otherwise.
All kids, tall, slim, sporty, attractive, and very bright... reality is most will be average in every way, and actually statistically many overweight.
The income..vast numbers of the population earn under 'average wage' , those with kids will be 'on benefits' MN 'norm' benefits means scroungers. Get a better job, doncha know..
Posters get castigated for being with lazy, incompetent men but these men can be threatened that they will have to parent their kids 50% after LTB..if they can't be bothered now they certainly won't post split.

Nobody is an utter arse because of how they are, its MH, SEN, Dementia.
Some people are just twats.
The same goes for some kids... not all have additional needs. Some are brats pure and simple.

The teenager/ younger adult being difficult..kick them out..they will come running back and apologise when they realise how tough it is...no they won't..they are the homeless kids under bridges.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 19:38

Competitive undereating..the obesity crisis in this country suggests otherwise.They're two sides of the same coin, I think.For whatever it's worth, the competitive undereaters in my family aren't thin and have at times been quite overweight. The performance of undereating doesn't always match the reality, and people who are pressured to eat less than they want or need are susceptible to overdoing it at other times.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:39

You claimed I misrepresented "your reasons" (by writing "How is that what i said?" or something like that) when my post wasn't about you and it was you who replied to my post and started haranguing me about what I wrote.

You claimed I "misrepresented" other people's reasons when some people do so. How is it a misrepresentation when no names were mentioned? Do you know everyone? So how is that not weird and a lie? How did I misrepresent "your reasons" when I've constantly written "some people" (especially in my replies to you) and didn't even write to you or about you in the first place?

And you wrote "caught out" when I wrote "caught out giving (un)biased advice". So not "direct quote "(another lie you've told). One makes more sense than the one you conveniently "quoted", since you seem to not know with your "whatever that means..." bit.

Yes I see why you hate reverses because you also misrepresent what someone writes and claim it means what it doesn't. Then harass them for it.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:44

If you can show me where I said "ReneBumsWombat hates reverses just to hate them or because they've been caught out", I'll apologise right now and hang my head in shame.

Otherwise, please stop lying about what i said and what I meant to make yourself feel better for unnecessarily harassing me about a fairly innocuous post.

My stand still remains that some people do hate reverses just to hate them (because others do) or because they've been caught giving unbiased advice. It's your problem if you take this statement personally.

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:46

(Un)biased* (depending on the situation)

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 19:46

MegIsWhite · 01/04/2023 19:39

You claimed I misrepresented "your reasons" (by writing "How is that what i said?" or something like that) when my post wasn't about you and it was you who replied to my post and started haranguing me about what I wrote.

You claimed I "misrepresented" other people's reasons when some people do so. How is it a misrepresentation when no names were mentioned? Do you know everyone? So how is that not weird and a lie? How did I misrepresent "your reasons" when I've constantly written "some people" (especially in my replies to you) and didn't even write to you or about you in the first place?

And you wrote "caught out" when I wrote "caught out giving (un)biased advice". So not "direct quote "(another lie you've told). One makes more sense than the one you conveniently "quoted", since you seem to not know with your "whatever that means..." bit.

Yes I see why you hate reverses because you also misrepresent what someone writes and claim it means what it doesn't. Then harass them for it.

But your post was about me. It was about people who hate reverses and I'm one of them. It completely misrepresented my reasons as "just to hate them" and getting "caught out" on anything at all. That's not true.

I've given my reasons several times now, but you're still misrepresenting me. Now you're saying it's because I'm a liar, so I don't like liars. Or something.

And now you're misrepresenting my responses to your posts as "harassment". Your posts are lengthy, angry, dishonest and full of misrepresentation. Why aren't they harassment?

Misrepresentation upon misrepresentation from you. Which is in line with someone who defends reverses, I suppose.

Anyway, how come you're still here? Didn't you say something about agreeing to disagree and that you were leaving the discussion about an hour ago?

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