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Original poster

Are you afraid of dying?

163 replies

usernamechanged1 · 28/03/2023 20:29

I seem to swing between being fully accepting that it’ll come to us all, and dreading the thought of it.

What’s your take?

OP posts:
HealthyFats · 28/03/2023 22:02

No, or not yet. I do worrying about dementia and about the effect of my death on my family.

I have found myself reading a lot of books about old age and death recently.

FLOWER1982 · 28/03/2023 22:03

i have struggled all my life with various things so it brings me comfort life is not forever. The only thing I worry is my dd, she is my world and id hate for her to lose me.

AuntieMarys · 28/03/2023 22:05

I wish I knew exactly when I will die, as that appeals to me. I don't want to have a protracted illness, or be in pain. No one should.
And I dont believe in God/ heaven/ afterlife so it will just be absolutely nothing.

Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 22:07

@Twatalert I’m really glad you’ve managed to experience some peace after a tough time.

In the last few days, I’ve been having the acute feeling that the timing for all the things that make for a good life has now passed. The passage of time is really hitting me.

Livelovebehappy · 28/03/2023 22:08

I find the finality of it all really scarey. Like just never again existing, just disappearing into ‘infinity’. Into nothingness.

Puppers · 28/03/2023 22:08

I'm not scared of dying. I'm extremely scared of leaving my children without a mummy and leaving my husband as I know he wouldn't cope well. If I think of dying as an old lady, I still worry about leaving my children and DH. I would want him to go first, because I'd rather be the one to live with the loss. It hurts to imagine him alone.

For myself though, I'm not scared because I believe I will see my loved ones again.

thispostisaboutyou · 28/03/2023 22:09

I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared about dying when kids still need me here

Forestfire12345 · 28/03/2023 22:10

No, not afraid of death. My pain will be leaving those I love and, possibly, wishing my turn wasn't over.
Death itself as process or whatever does or doesn't come after, no.

Screwedupworld · 28/03/2023 22:11

I am absolutely terrified of leaving my DS. Once he’s grown and settled then I think I would feel more accepting of it.

frozendaisy · 28/03/2023 22:15

I just don't want to miss anything.

sickofthisbollocks · 28/03/2023 22:18

I’m not scared of dying. I have a disabled child and my fear is what will happen to them when I’m gone. They have no relationship with their father they would be alone. This sounds awful but if they died I would fix it so I would follow soon after.

MissGroves · 28/03/2023 22:21

I’m not afraid of dying but I am afraid to leave my children behind before they are ready. Both children have SEN, one is slowly making progress to be independent and I think she will actually be ok. The other is not ready and I don’t think would be in a good place if I died.

Lovelyring · 28/03/2023 22:21

I'm not afraid of being dead. I am afraid of the process of dying, and there are particular ways of dying that horrify me and I hope will not be my fate.

When I look at DC my heart breaks at the thought of missing them growing up. That's what I fear the most.

BreadInCaptivity · 28/03/2023 22:25

No fear of being dead given I'll cease to exist and have no feelings whatsoever.

I do fear a painful and protracted death and both DH and I have had some very frank discussions about our wishes in this regard should we ever be in a position of being unable to communicate our wishes.

My biggest angst about death is the impact on those left behind (children foremost) which I see as motivation for making them as self-sufficient and independent as possible and letting them know how very much they are loved whilst I'm still alive and kicking.

SallyWD · 28/03/2023 22:25

The concept of death, of not existing doesn't scare me. However, if you were to tell me I had a week left to live, I'd be terrified! I did have cancer before and although they never said it was terminal I was so scared of dying. I think it's easy to say you're not scared of it if you e never had reason to think it's imminent.

LesLavandes · 28/03/2023 22:28

I am terrified about dying and think about it every day

Ishouldbeoutside · 28/03/2023 22:30

Bluemat · 28/03/2023 21:22

I know exactly what you mean 😢

Show quote history

Me too. Having watched my father in pain and deteriorate very quickly it had out the feet of God in me. I am not afraid of being dead, just the lead up to it.

Ishouldbeoutside · 28/03/2023 22:30

It put the fear of God in me.

Houseplantmad · 28/03/2023 22:33

Terrified. Even reading this thread makes me feel v. emotional. I love life and don’t want to imagine my DCs being upset and grieving for me.

bamboonights · 28/03/2023 22:34

AuntieMarys · 28/03/2023 22:05

I wish I knew exactly when I will die, as that appeals to me. I don't want to have a protracted illness, or be in pain. No one should.
And I dont believe in God/ heaven/ afterlife so it will just be absolutely nothing.

I'm the same re knowing when! Just watched this guy on YouTube-fascinating interview with Steven Bartlett

megletthesecond · 28/03/2023 22:34

Yes. And of leaving my DC's. We're a tiny family so they won't really have anyone else.

Elcapitano · 28/03/2023 22:34

Same fears as other sen parents have mentioned. That terrifies me beyond measure.

On a personal level, no, I see it as a reminder to live. I've sadly seen two lives end in front of me, both sudden cardiac issues with no warning, one young and one middle aged. The absolute sense of randomness of it honestly just makes me think fuck it. If something won't matter in 100 years then I try not to stress over it. I don't think I'll ever own a house because as soon as we put a bit of money aside it's an opportunity to travel or do something which just seems more important. When you consider we're all sitting on a rock, orbiting a giant ball of fire, hurtling through space at God knows what speed.. the mundane things we strive for just feels a pointless waste of time

gkhg · 28/03/2023 22:35

Can't wait

bamboonights · 28/03/2023 22:36

@AuntieMarys sorry my text along with the link didn't post - I agree with your sentiments and this interview is really fascinating.

PogoThePunk · 28/03/2023 22:38

I'm not afraid of death, but I'd rather it be quick and painless if possible.
I'd rather be dead than sat in my own shit in a care home, that scares me more than death.

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