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Original poster

Do you actually enjoy being with your children?

108 replies

YouFilthyAnimal · 26/03/2023 13:48

I know we all love them, but really, does anyone like their kids?

Mine are all horrible, actually just not nice children, I’m not sure what I did so wrong, I thought I was parenting very similarly to all the people around me, it doesn’t look that different from the outside but clearly I haven’t because so many people really enjoy time with their children, and mine are just horrible and draining to be around

So if you are one of those people who actually likes them, how did you do this??
It is so fucking depressing to live in a house full of people you don’t like and who don’t like you

OP posts:
TheEarlofButties · 26/03/2023 13:55

This is quite sad. I’m sorry you feel that way. I like mine, they’re all very different to each other and some are very different to me but I appreciate their individuality and try to find things we both enjoy doing together. Why do you feel they don’t like you? How old are they?

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 26/03/2023 13:56

How old are they op?

Nopinnogin · 26/03/2023 13:59

Yes I do but we all have our moments including me. I acted like I would like a mother to behave at times.

kids have phases of being selfish, rude and nasty to each other and it’s important to know that they all do this but they change and get better. Having thought I couldn’t have kids I was always overjoyed to be around them though.

tatteddear · 26/03/2023 14:00

Some days I don't like being with them at All. I've got three with a bit of a propensity to moaning and negativity and one of them to bouts of rage that make life tricky. The fourth child is mostly fine and a pleasure to be with-but she gets fed up with the other three!

Rumpleforeskinz · 26/03/2023 14:06

Haha this really made me laugh.

I really enjoy being around my daughter; she’s happy, funny and has a beautifully positive outlook on life.

Her brother - a mere 16 months younger and brought up in the same way - drains the fucking life out of me. Whilst he is the master of sarcasm, he is also negative and unable to be alone when he’s in a shit mood. He literally follows me around sucking any last remnants of patience and joy from my soul.

Sorry, no solution, but just goes to show it’s luck of the draw and not something you’ve done specifically!

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 26/03/2023 14:08

What is it about them that you don't like? Also how old are they? I imagine that will make a big difference.

I genuinely do like my children, my eldest is so kind and clever I feel like i really enjoy and look forward to spending time with her. My middle child is more difficult, more emotional but hugely affectionate and sweet he loves to sit and watch films together, sometimes he has the funniest takes on things he sees. My youngest is still a baby so I guess it's really just powered by love at this point rather than liking his personality (as he is very mischievous he's a lot of work). But with all of my kids I really forward to spending one on one time with time even though they can all be annoying at times.

It must be really hard to have children who have personalities you don't gel with, my parents were the same with me. It was very hard.

foxlover47 · 26/03/2023 14:10

I remember my own dad telling me once that just because you love your children it doesn't mean that you always like them , that has always stuck with me

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 14:11

I have one daughter
7
love being with her
love going for dinner with her
love hanging out at home with her
love reading to her
love playing with her

yes I like alone and adult time too

but a close relationship with her is paramount to me

i think having one and being single make the experience rather different

GreenLeavesRustling · 26/03/2023 14:13

That must be really hard. I am sorry it’s a difficult time. How old are they?
I can genuinely say I love spending time with my kids. Two are teens. They are thoughtful, hilarious, helpful and brilliant company. Great humans. The eight year old is also fantastic company, interesting and interested and really kind and helpful. I adore spending time with them, and feel sad when I think of life after they’ve left home.

I know I am really lucky. It’s quite possible that teenage issues will kick in and things will change, till then I am enjoying them and very grateful for them.

FunnysInLaJardin · 26/03/2023 14:13

Yes, I love being with my children. They are 13 and 17.

How old are your DC @YouFilthyAnimal ?

TorviShieldMaiden · 26/03/2023 14:15

I do quite like it, but sometimes it’s draining. Some of their interests bore me to death and I have to feign being interested!

Original poster
YouFilthyAnimal · 26/03/2023 14:15

They are 13, 12, 7 & 5

The 13 year old is probably the easiest to be around, he has his teenage moments but nothing more than to be expected and when he’s nice he’s lovely
The 12 year old is the worst, she’s vile! Actually just not a nice person, even the way she speaks to her ‘friends’ is disgusting and it’s a wonder she’s got the few she has. Very regularly tells me she wishes I was dead and says things like she will be dancing at my funeral etc - vile!
The 7 year old has adhd, so he’s the most physically exhausting and in public he is the worst, he plays up when there is an audience massively so he makes it very difficult to leave the house, he’s the one who people outside of the family try to spend little time with which is hard
The 5 year old still screams and cries like a toddler when she doesn’t get her own way and she talks constantly and I mean, constantly! Just a stream of words for 13 hours a day that makes me want to peel my skin off

I literally daydream about leaving and going to live in a lovely quiet minimalist 1 bed apartment and not speaking to anyone else ever again

OP posts:
NotJohnWick · 26/03/2023 14:18

It sounds like your 5yo might have adhd too, based on the little information here, but taking a family history into account.

Has your 12yo always been unpleasant? Or is it a more recent development? Has she had any assistance with her social skills and empathy?

Anonhopingforbaby · 26/03/2023 14:19

What horrible things to say.

Clearly the 13 y/o is your favourite because he's the "easiest", probably because he was your first child.

The 12 y/o, nip it in the bud. Now. See if she needs to speak to someone due to low self esteem or something going on that makes her so nasty. If not, get in touch with an anti bullying charity and get some help with how to manage her behaviour.

The 7 y/o, speak to their doctor and get help with managing their ADHD instead of just ignoring it.

The 5 y/o, get some help with their tantrums. Get them evaluated if needed.

You can turn it around but not if you just complain

Discwriter · 26/03/2023 14:19

I'm sorry OP, sounds tough. My DC and dog drains me - but it's me not them, I need a lot more space and peace and quiet so I'm on antidepressants to survive.

HuggingtheHRT · 26/03/2023 14:20

My son can be a delight. He is funny, affectionate, curious, interesting and great company.

He is also autistic and at times he is totally inflexible, controlling, self-absorbed and exhausting.

Every person is a mixture of good and bad qualities and, where kids are concerned, you take the rough with the smooth. Still love the very bones of him and always will...

Comedycook · 26/03/2023 14:23

In all honesty I'm at my absolute happiest when they're at school, DH is in the office and I'm home alone. 😁

Hotvimto3 · 26/03/2023 14:23

NotJohnWick · 26/03/2023 14:18

It sounds like your 5yo might have adhd too, based on the little information here, but taking a family history into account.

Has your 12yo always been unpleasant? Or is it a more recent development? Has she had any assistance with her social skills and empathy?

There is nothing to suggest from this that she has ADHD

Hotvimto3 · 26/03/2023 14:26

Ive never disliked mine. My youngest is clingier and mire emotional which is hard work.
But as a single parent with no support I get so exhusted. I wish i could enjoy them more and be interested in everything they are but some days ots desperately hard to. You are probably exhusted. Do you work too?

Original poster
YouFilthyAnimal · 26/03/2023 14:27

@NotJohnWick i have thought the 5 year old may also have adhd, but it’s so hard to know what is and isn’t just copied behaviour

The 12 year old hasn’t always been like this no, she used to be the loveliest most easygoing, funny little girl, she went into year 6 and she is a different person since, absolutely nothing I have tried has worked and she just keeps getting worse, I utterly dread the teenage years if she’s already like this now
She hasn’t had any professional help, I’m not even sure where I would go for this, I have said this weekend that I am on the phone to go first thing Monday morning to ask for some therapy for her though - whether it will happen with the state of the nhs atm will remain to be seen though I guess

OP posts:
Hotvimto3 · 26/03/2023 14:28

Do you get any time alone. My alone time is driving to and from work. I listen to audio books and podcasts and its a nice distraction after the hell of the school run.

Spendonsend · 26/03/2023 14:29

I do. But i reckon it would be even more fun if someone else was doing all the work and taking all the responsibility.

I also find them much nicer one at a time.

Denialisariverinegypt · 26/03/2023 14:29

Have you considered you could be depressed and overwhelmed. This can affect how you perceive and react to stuff. It's a challenging time. And your kids will pick up on it. Do you have any support or someone you can talk to in real life? Yes I do agree we don't always like our children all the time. But sometimes it can tip over.

pinkstripeycat · 26/03/2023 14:30

I adore mine. When they were little and they were with me all the time I’d sometimes wish someone else would take them for a bit. Soft play or visits to friends were great because they were entertained but I was with them.

Now they are teenagers I go looking for them. DS15 says “you can go now” when he’s had enough of me sitting on his bed. DS17 just gives me a little smile and then goes back to his phone, Xbox, homework, chat with mates etc

ShandaLear · 26/03/2023 14:30

Just about to go to the gym with my DD now 😁

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