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Original poster

How much did you pay towards your child's wedding?

133 replies

boozybirds · 26/03/2023 09:32

One of my children is getting married and this is a first for me. I am going to offer money towards it, and wondered how much. Me and her father are not together. I know many people will say, it depends on what you can afford, but I'm just trying to gauge what would be the norm, as I have no idea what her Dad will offer, nor the grooms parents. Cost of wedding is Circa £11k. Taking place Spring 2025, so plenty of time to save.

OP posts:
Terryhalloffame · 26/03/2023 09:44

I gave £3k towards my DS wedding. I figured if exH and brides side did the same it would make a significant contribution. However as far as I know ExH and in-laws did not chip in.

happyharpy78 · 26/03/2023 09:50

We gave £3k to our daughters wedding and a few little extras along the way. As far as I know the in-laws did not contribute.

BeanzToastie · 26/03/2023 09:53

It it's going to cost £11k (say £12k with extras) then why not divide that by four (you, your ex, the in-laws and the happy couple) and give them £3k, if you can afford it.
A wedding is a luxury these days - if they can't cover the the costs then they should be looking at cheaper options.

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Weddings
AliceS1994 · 26/03/2023 09:55

My.mum gave us around £2000 and my dad £1000 fornour- parents not together

Edthehorse · 26/03/2023 09:55

My parents gave us 5k.
Oh parents gave us 1.5k

ChristmasJumpers · 26/03/2023 09:59

I don't think there'll be a normal. You could offer to pay for a certain aspect instead like the dress or transport

ChickenSoupAndLokshen · 26/03/2023 10:02

My parents are very traditional and paid for the whole thing, with no strings attached. They were in the fortunate position to be able to do so and I was very grateful.

DurhamDurham · 26/03/2023 10:04

We contributed £5,000 spread over a year or so during the planning stages. We also helped out with a few other specific things and paid for the meal for the bridesmaids and our daughter the night before the wedding (we went to the meal too, wasn't going to miss out of that! Grin)

Original poster
boozybirds · 26/03/2023 10:05

This is very interesting - thank you. I'd love to know what ExH is giving, as I wouldn't want to give less than him. Thing is, he is quite well off, but also mean with money, LOL.

OP posts:
Pe55yP00 · 26/03/2023 10:05

We paid a 1/3 of the costs, towards our daughters wedding. They already had their own house,and had been established for a few years so it was just the wedding.
Thb we gave a bit more as you do...

wineandsunshine · 26/03/2023 10:07

My mum gave us £3k - but this was ten years ago!

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 26/03/2023 10:09

My mum paid £300 for my dress we paid for the rest of the wedding ourselves. It isn't your responsibility to pay for your child's wedding so anything you offer is lovely and should be appreciated and I really wouldn't worry about comparisons.

Annietheacrobat · 26/03/2023 10:10

Really depends what you and they can afford

curious79 · 26/03/2023 10:11

Give what you can, and don’t let your ex-husband be a barometer.

ladyvimes · 26/03/2023 10:12

Mum gave us about 2.5k and in-laws about the same. My in laws paid for the whole (massive) reception for my SIL though!

MumToTooManyBoys · 26/03/2023 10:14

I would offer to buy something special. Say cake ? Or dress? Rather than a figure

thismeansnothing · 26/03/2023 10:14

My mum paid for our venue which was £3000 and my dress which was £600 everything else me and DH saved up and paid for

reluctantbrit · 26/03/2023 10:14

My parents paid for my dress, shoes and tiara.

My PIL gave us the money for the honeymoon. We had already booked and paid and they gave us a cheque with the amount plus spending money at the reception as a surprise.

MumToTooManyBoys · 26/03/2023 10:14

Specific not special

PicturesOfLily · 26/03/2023 10:17

My parents gave us £4 and in-laws £3k. We spent about £12k in total so saved the rest ourselves. We were very grateful!

ScrumpyTree · 26/03/2023 10:20

My parents paid for the ceremony and reception.

We did clothes/photographers/video/invitations etc etc.

BeaLola · 26/03/2023 10:24

As others have said don't compare to exH or PIL give what you can afford /would like to give.

A lot of Mums I know have paid for their daughters dress and accessories rather than just give an amount and that has gone down well and also created lovely memories as they went to see dress being fitted etc .

You mention one of your children - how many do you have?just bear in mind if close in age the others may also get married soon .

4EyesandBigThighs · 26/03/2023 10:24

My dad has said he’s going to give us £1000, maybe a tiny bit more if he can (he’s moving country so they need to prioritise that first obviously)

My mum is helping by doing the favours and making other various bits for the day - she also paid for my dress.

My family aren’t well off, comfortable but not well off so we always planned our wedding around what we could afford without help.
we’re just about to read our £20k budget and I think we’re pretty much sorted, we get married in 6 months!

4EyesandBigThighs · 26/03/2023 10:27

@PicturesOfLily

£4 from your parents? Spend it wisely!

Flipflopflips · 26/03/2023 10:32

4EyesandBigThighs · 26/03/2023 10:27

@PicturesOfLily

£4 from your parents? Spend it wisely!

I was thinking the same 😂

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