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Original poster

How much did you pay towards your child's wedding?

133 replies

boozybirds · 26/03/2023 09:32

One of my children is getting married and this is a first for me. I am going to offer money towards it, and wondered how much. Me and her father are not together. I know many people will say, it depends on what you can afford, but I'm just trying to gauge what would be the norm, as I have no idea what her Dad will offer, nor the grooms parents. Cost of wedding is Circa £11k. Taking place Spring 2025, so plenty of time to save.

OP posts:

Bournetilly · 27/03/2023 06:50

My mum paid for my dress. We paid for everything else ourselves.

Gufo · 27/03/2023 07:04

15 years down the line, I hate the fact my parents gave 3K. We earn a lot more than them, and it felt so wrong. However, my background means it would have felt even worse for them not to pay/contribute - like emasculating my dad or something. So weird, and I wish I had never accepted.

Doingmybest12 · 27/03/2023 07:18

My parents paid for our wedding as was tradition many moons ago. We gave 10,000 to our daughter and future SIL for them to spend on the wedding (or save) Didn't get involved in any decisions on how it was spent. But you can give only what you can afford comfortably.

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Weddings

C1N1C · 27/03/2023 07:19

None. Eloped. Loved it.

Beachhutnut · 27/03/2023 07:35

I am sure whatever you can give will be gratefully received op. We got £6k from my parents and £500 from in-laws plus my Mum paid for my dress. Wedding probably cost about £11k which was a good job because we had no savings. Of I were to do it again I would scale back and stick within budget. Weddings seem very important at the time but after 15 years it's the marriage that's important and the big day itself not so much.

Autienotnautie · 27/03/2023 08:31

@Lesvacances the first wedding exdh family said they were paying for their dd wedding so would only pay for suits at ours. My mum and dad offered a third. PWhen I got married again my in-laws offered what they had paid to dil and bil. I didn't ask my mum and dad for a contribution but then they offered. My sis has never been married but they matched the same amounts to her.

Quisquam · 30/03/2023 12:25

@tinytemper66

The wedding wasn't a large sum of money. DDIL comes from Eastern Europe, and the wedding was held there. I asked DS how much the wedding would cost and he told me £3,000 - £4,500. I offered him £1,500, as our contribution of either a half or third.

There money went much further - a top class venue for the area; a reception that went on from 2 pm to 5 am with 3 cooked meals and a cold buffet, a bottle of vodka per member of the bride's family, apparently unlimited beer, wine and soft drinks for the English guests, and a great DJ/MC for the duration of the reception. Best wedding we have ever been to, for a fraction of what it would cost here!

Sweetnessoflife · 21/08/2023 19:15

I gave £5k to my D's wedding

JLM1981 · 28/08/2023 19:11

My parents are divorced. Mum paid the wedding breakfast for her side of the family and Dad paid his. Dad is tight lol so only had 16 from his side. Mum had 50 so she paid more (was happy to do so). We paid for friends. Mum bought dress. We paid everything else. It probably worked out mum paying £4000 Dad £1500 and us £6000. Hope this helps 👍

CeriB82 · 28/08/2023 21:00

Nothing. We eloped. I wouldn’t dream of taking money off some one for a wedding. Your wedding. Not theirs.

Headingforholidays · 28/08/2023 21:10

My parents paid for all of my wedding (about £20k). I didn't ask for or expect this and we could have paid for it ourselves but they wanted to do it and can easily afford it. PIL did not contribute and I expect don't realise that my parents paid for it.

Phunny · 28/08/2023 21:22

My mum paid for my dress, which I thought was really generous and more than I expected. Anything you can offer will be appreciated i am sure!

BumbleBee75 · 28/08/2023 21:25

Maybe buy the dress? Or if you can afford, the cake as well. They are 2 big expenses usually.

Yetanothernewname101 · 28/08/2023 22:14

We've not had this yet but I think we need to get saving!

FasciaDreams · 28/08/2023 22:21

Is the wedding the only thing you'd 'like' to contribute to? What about, say a house deposit?

saraclara · 28/08/2023 22:31

My DD and her fiance were determined that they were paying for their own wedding. I bought DD's dress though and her sisters MoH dress, and when I realised that the wedding breakfast was going to be at 3 with hungry guests having to hang around for it with drinks while photos were taken, I offered to pay for canapes etc

cherryassam · 28/08/2023 22:36

We got married this year.

DH’s parents gave us £3500 and paid for the open bar (about another £1800)
My parents gave us £7500 and paid for accomodation for me the night before the wedding and for the bridesmaids and my siblings for the wedding weekend.
My grandmother gave us £1500.
One of DH’s uncles gave us £1000 for the wedding unexpectedly about 6 weeks before the wedding

Bluelightbaby · 28/08/2023 23:01

This is my second wedding and DPs first.

my parents gave £3k towards my first so said they won’t give any towards this one

DPs parents have given us £15k !! His brother is getting married too and they’ve given him the same

willowstar · 28/08/2023 23:07

How do people have this much money to give their children for weddings? I am 49, barely any savings. I hope my children earn well as I can't imagine being able to give much. Our wedding cost £350 as we went away and got married just the two of us. I really don't get big weddings at all. Anyway, none of our parents would have been able to, or want to, contribute anything and there was no way we would have ever expected them to.

3peassuit · 28/08/2023 23:14

DD2 is getting married next year. We’re contributing £14000 which is approximately half the total. DD 1 married 6 years ago and we paid £10000. Weddings costs seem to have increased massively since Covid.

blueraininlondon · 28/08/2023 23:16

My parents paid 10k, I paid 10 and my husband paid the other half!

HedgehogB · 28/08/2023 23:19

We are giving 4K to DSD’s wedding. Her in-laws are matching it. DH’s exW isn’t in a position to contribute as much financially but will probably help plan. We get on fine and understand that.

mdinbc · 28/08/2023 23:42

We gave the equivalent of 3000 GBP. For my DD I also bought her dress, for youngest son we wanted a few more guests so paid a bit more to top up the food and drinks amount.

BumbleBee75 · 29/08/2023 09:16

willowstar · 28/08/2023 23:07

But what we decided to do is irrelevant. If our children want a bigger wedding that's their call, but I would expect them to fund it as wouldn't have the money to contribute thousands. I would however like to contribute in some small way within my means, such as buy the cake or bouquet etc. I don't think there is any 'one size fits all contribution', we just do what we can to help in any way. It doesn't even have to be financial. It can be help making invites (if you're crafty) or making table centre pieces. Just being a part of making the day come together would I'm sure be appreciated.

AuntieMarys · 29/08/2023 09:20

Ds and partner will be planning a big wedding. Exh is contributing £10000. I will not be 😀
I think big weddings are a ridiculous waste of money.

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