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Original poster

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

667 replies

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 21:00

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

OP posts:
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ladydimitrescu · 26/03/2023 00:32

I don't think you have any choice but to turn the living room into a bedroom for you and the twins.
The girls are ok as they have their own rooms but I do feel sorry for the boys - they don't have another space in their home to hang out in other than a shared bedroom, or their mums room. Not a lot that can be done now but really not ideal.

Capricornone1 · 26/03/2023 00:33

Bookworms77 · 26/03/2023 00:31

@MissMooley ignore the perfect posters. They cannot wait for an opportunity to stick the boot in. You can see who the school bullies were. Let’s hope life continues to be perfect for them or they may just have to eat their words.

Awwww bless 🤣

AlwaysLatte · 26/03/2023 00:33

Two girls share one room, two boys in the second bedroom and you and the twins in the third. Proper family space for the living room otherwise when will you all get together as a family?

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Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 00:34

@ladydimitrescu the boys love sharing and are close. They like to do most things together.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 26/03/2023 00:35

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:44

@Capricornone1 because we are a civilised society who should not wash our hands of our vulnerable people. Because lots of wages are not enough for people to afford a decent standard of living. Because even if we don’t agree with the parents choices we don’t turn away from the innocent children. Because as one of the riches countries in the world we should be able to offer adequate social housing as a minimum. Because the welfare state was set up to provide for people who cannot do so themselves. Because without adequate housing people will struggle to thrive and meet their potential especially children therefore continuing the cycle of poverty.

Great post!

Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 00:38

AlwaysLatte · 26/03/2023 00:33

Two girls share one room, two boys in the second bedroom and you and the twins in the third. Proper family space for the living room otherwise when will you all get together as a family?

We tend to end up gathering in the kitchen. Which is why I initially didn't mind chucking my bed in the living room so eldest got a room of her own.

OP posts:
KickAssAngel · 26/03/2023 00:39

Op, careers allowance is not means tested. If it protects your DD from having to find her own housing it might be worth getting for that reason.

I'm sure you're happy to have more paperwork to fill in with twins due soon

FlyingWormsAndSubterraneanBirds · 26/03/2023 00:41

KickAssAngel · 26/03/2023 00:39

Op, careers allowance is not means tested. If it protects your DD from having to find her own housing it might be worth getting for that reason.

I'm sure you're happy to have more paperwork to fill in with twins due soon

Yes it is.

Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 00:43

I'm pretty sure it is means tested, I know a few people claiming it and you can only work upto 15 hrs on minimum wage can't you?

OP posts:
Swallowdoubleandrunamile · 26/03/2023 00:52

MissMooley · 26/03/2023 00:30

@Chompybear can you direct me to a contraception that has a 100% success rate?

@SheilaWilde thabk you, I'll take a look.
@apapuchi yes, it's the first room you come to in the house so it's ideal

Celibacy

NoTouch · 26/03/2023 00:53

Such a sad situation you have choosen to put your children in. I feel really sorry for them.

Can any of the older kids move in with their dad or, if willing, a grandparent?

Another alternative is the 19 year old presents at the council as homeless. That has got to be better than living in a shed in the back garden!

If there are no bigger properties in your area can you relocate somewhere much cheaper? Although that could be another blow to your children and their education.

You cannot realistically have 6 kids, 2 just babies and others doing exams, in a 3 bed. It is just untenable.

Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 00:58

@NoTouch the girls won't even go to their Dad's because they don't get on with his partner.
I'm not sure where you got the idea of a shed in the garden from? It's an outhouse attached to the house I was talking about it. Although thinking about it, I've probably referred to it as an outshed haven't I?
Bigger properties aren't available around here, it's already a cheap area and I need to stay close by for work.
It is totally doable, and the norm years ago. Don't write off my kids happiness, my ability to look after them or their education because of being one bedroom short.

OP posts:
Chocolatesandroses · 26/03/2023 02:00

I know this isn’t going to help you right now but have you looked or thought about doing a mutual exchange and if there isn’t many bigger properties in your area , looking at moving a bit further out

Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 02:04

@Chocolatesandroses ive recently joined an exchange group, because an exchange is less restrictive area wise ( if I was put back on the list I could only apply for the village I'm in now, and the town where I work)

OP posts:
Chocolatesandroses · 26/03/2023 02:10

Good luck op hope it all works out for you . I think for now I would use the living room as a bedroom either you could just put your bed in there or maybe get a decent sofa bed like the ones you get that comes with a mattress , that way your sleeping on a proper bed , can put it away and still use the living room . We slept in the living room for 6 months until we moved

FlyingWormsAndSubterraneanBirds · 26/03/2023 02:11

In the long term you're actually 4 bedrooms short though, if they all stay living with you.

Aren't you worried how your ASD daughter will cope with the disruption of babies and noise and mess if she has mental health problems already as you said? And the boys having no private space as they get older and need to study for exams? It does seem quite unfair on the existing children to make an overcrowded house even more overcrowded like this especially with no realistic plans for where the new children will sleep either when they are older.

I hope you find a solution.

letthemalldoone · 26/03/2023 02:14

I can't even begin to imagine how you would do this - is there a father involved anywhere that might be able to help out a bit?

My grandparents reared 8 children, 3 gc and 3 motherless cousins in a 3 bed house, but that was upwards of 100 years ago and it obviously was far from ideal!

Sorry but it's beyond the limits of my imagination to comprehend that many children in such a small space! Even if this had been a singleton pregnancy! I guess you have no choice now but to make it work somehow!

Wintersgirl · 26/03/2023 02:14

NorthernDrizzle · 25/03/2023 22:04

Girl and Boy twins are unusual unless IVF or on fertility treatment you were very unlucky to end up with twins.

Sorry but that's not true at all...

Original poster
MissMooley · 26/03/2023 02:17

Noise and mess won't bother her. She's not what people stereotypically see as autistic. She studied for her exams and passed with flying colours whilst living with 7 of us in my mums 3 bed house, before I got this place.
I wonder how our grandparents managed with tons of siblings years ago 😂

OP posts:
Cos90 · 26/03/2023 02:17

Hello 👋, quite a long thread so apologies if this has been suggested already.

Could you get a second hand mobile home/Caravan for your drive if you have one and connect the amenities to your house? You could maybe move your 2 sons in there and they normally come with a sitting room area too so be a place the kids could go to chill, have space etc and you then move into a bedroom and keep your sitting room.

Caravan would also give more storage.

SchoolTripDrama · 26/03/2023 02:17

These are usually things you think of before having lots of children?

Chocolatesandroses · 26/03/2023 02:17

Also if your going down the route of being rehoused by your local authority and be put on the list again then I would also apply to do it on medical grounds for dd because she has asd and mental health problems .

LorW · 26/03/2023 02:17

OP, I’m sorry about some of the comments you are getting 😔

id suggest trying to partition one of the girls rooms off and them sharing, I’ve seen quite a few nifty ideas where they’ve used a bunk bed to Partition into 2 rooms which was rather cheap- I saved the video I saw the other day from TikTok and it looks fab: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYXJMHPt/

then there’s a room for you and the twins, make the living room into a proper living room and the outhouse into a little hideaway for the children so if they want some space from everyone there’s somewhere to go, get an oil heater for in the winter and make it super cosy with pillows/blankets/rugs

good luck OP!

LorW · 26/03/2023 02:18

OP, I’m sorry about some of the comments you are getting 😔

id suggest trying to partition one of the girls rooms off and them sharing, I’ve seen quite a few nifty ideas where they’ve used a bunk bed to Partition into 2 rooms which was rather cheap- I saved the video I saw the other day from TikTok and it looks fab: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYXJMHPt/

then there’s a room for you and the twins, make the living room into a proper living room and the outhouse into a little hideaway for the children so if they want some space from everyone there’s somewhere to go, get an oil heater for in the winter and make it super cosy with pillows/blankets/rugs

good luck OP!

BlackBarbies · 26/03/2023 02:18

Twins! My Lord, hats off to you!!

I have no practical advice as it sounds quite difficult if one of your girls will struggle to share due to ASD. I’m sorry about some of the responses on this thread, people can’t help themselves.

I work with a woman who has 5 kids. Eldest is 21 and youngest is in year 3 (no clue what age that is😅) and they live in a two bedroom house. Two boys share and three girls share. She then sleeps in the living room. It’s really shit but when you can’t afford to move (we’re in Zone 2) then you have to make it work somehow.

Fingers crossed for the mutual exchange to work. It can take time but hopefully you find somewhere a bit bigger in a couple of years