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Original poster

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

667 replies

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 21:00

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

OP posts:
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TeenLifeMum · 25/03/2023 22:32

Actually @NorthernDrizzle it’s becoming more common as more likely the older women get.

RaininSummer · 25/03/2023 22:37

For some reason this has reminded me if the old lady who lived in a shoe. Guess you'll make it work but 6 kids is a lot and it will probably mean the eldest ones move out sooner than might be ideal. It is quite a modern thing though with kids nor being expected to share. I remember my aunt putting a partition up in the room my boy and girl cousins shared until they left home.

CalistoNoSolo · 25/03/2023 22:45

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Original poster
MissMooley · 25/03/2023 22:47

@CalistoNoSolo not everything in life goes to plan or smoothly.
You either make the best of a situation or be miserable.
Do you have a follow up comment with a suggestion what what to do in the present by any chance, or are you just another that's jumped on to try and get an argument started? 🙂

OP posts:
Englishrosegarden · 25/03/2023 22:58

Why not sort the outshed out and make it into a bedroom for one of the older kids?
We built a large shed in our garden, insulated it and our daughter lived in it for several years quite happily. It had an oil filled radiator for the winter, tv etc.

happytoobehere · 25/03/2023 23:02

I would try turning biggest room into two for your DD’s or if that doesn’t work maybe share the room with one of your DD. So have bed, cots in room for when you go to bed. DD could use room to watch tv, get peace etc then at night could sleep in livingroom. Not ideal I know but probably easier than having cots etc in livingroom.

Original poster
MissMooley · 25/03/2023 23:03

@Englishrosegarden how much did it cost to insulate it? It already has electric and previous tenant has boarded the walls. It's just pretty cold in winter. Just need permission from the council. It'd be most ideal, I'd rather not move at all tbh

OP posts:
Englishrosegarden · 25/03/2023 23:15

You would need to measure the walls etc and work out the price of lining them with something like Kingspan. If walls are boarded, look behind one if possible to see if there is insulation already. You can use some of the foil stuff that goes under laminate on the floor if it's concrete. Try asking around local facebook groups for leftover insulation, flooring etc. Several layers of rugs on the floor, heavy lined curtains for windows/door will make a lot of difference. Try charity shops for that.
Personally I wouldn't bother asking for permission, I would just do it.

betweenfor · 25/03/2023 23:17

I’m quite mind boggled that you managed to have time and space to conceive at all… good luck!!!

Wellillsayitifnoonelsewill · 25/03/2023 23:18

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 23:03

@Englishrosegarden how much did it cost to insulate it? It already has electric and previous tenant has boarded the walls. It's just pretty cold in winter. Just need permission from the council. It'd be most ideal, I'd rather not move at all tbh

Why don’t you ask council to do the work? It’s gonna be easier for them to do that than rehouse you…. Assuming they agree to the overcrowding - my concern would be they say eldest is an adult and therefore doesn’t count cos she could technically move out x

Capricornone1 · 25/03/2023 23:19

Businessflake · 25/03/2023 22:00

Maybe you should have thought about this before deciding to get pregnant, again?

Exactly !

Capricornone1 · 25/03/2023 23:20

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 22:47

@CalistoNoSolo not everything in life goes to plan or smoothly.
You either make the best of a situation or be miserable.
Do you have a follow up comment with a suggestion what what to do in the present by any chance, or are you just another that's jumped on to try and get an argument started? 🙂

But it’s a valid point, ever heard of birth control

wingingit1987 · 25/03/2023 23:23

Hiya- fellow large family mum here. Congratulations on your pregnancy. My friend was in a similar situation for a while and she invested in a sofa bed for her living room and kept her clothes etc in a wardrobe in the biggest bedroom. It worked fine and her older ones were teens so they moved out within a few years of her needing to sleep in the living room.

CJsGoldfish · 25/03/2023 23:26

Honestly, I don't think there is any solution that isn't shit for the other children. I'd probably have thought of them rather than myself in this situation. Too late now, whatever you choose to do and wherever you choose to squeeze everyone is most likely going to be negative so it's a matter of finding the way with the least impact on the least amount of people 🤷‍♀️

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:29

Eldest dd in smallest room. Boys share medium room. You in biggest room with the babies. Youngest dd in living room at night but have a sofa bed in your room so that through the day she can watch TV in there and do homework etc while you and babies use the living room. Get good storage in the hall for babies toys and clothes. Not sure what the layout is but perhaps a large kallax against the bannister for example. You will have to be creative with wardrobe space in the boys room and your room. There are plenty of clever storage solutions online.

Unfortunately you will have to have very minimal baby items. No changing area or anything nice to have but unnecessary. Just the basics, I’d even do without things like bouncers and walkers because they are going to take up too much space. You don’t want anything that can’t be packed away in the kallax.

Also get a desk area set up in the shed or kitchen if big enough and another in the boys room, so that the boys have a separate space each to study or chill.

Good luck. I’d say get in to the council etc but I’m well aware that you are unlikely to be rehoused for years. Overcrowding is not a priority anymore. I know families of 6 living in one room waiting years and years to be rehoused. It’s a national crisis. Getting a 4 bed council house is like winning 20 million on the lottery. Your best bet is to push for them to build an extension or go up into the loft, again it will likely be years before this would even be considered. Apply for pip and research all your dds entitlements, she may be entitled to grants and charity support, use this money to help with getting a private let. There are landlords who will accept a larger family but you need to be realistic about area etc

Lizzy1328 · 25/03/2023 23:30

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Capricornone1 · 25/03/2023 23:33

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:29

Eldest dd in smallest room. Boys share medium room. You in biggest room with the babies. Youngest dd in living room at night but have a sofa bed in your room so that through the day she can watch TV in there and do homework etc while you and babies use the living room. Get good storage in the hall for babies toys and clothes. Not sure what the layout is but perhaps a large kallax against the bannister for example. You will have to be creative with wardrobe space in the boys room and your room. There are plenty of clever storage solutions online.

Unfortunately you will have to have very minimal baby items. No changing area or anything nice to have but unnecessary. Just the basics, I’d even do without things like bouncers and walkers because they are going to take up too much space. You don’t want anything that can’t be packed away in the kallax.

Also get a desk area set up in the shed or kitchen if big enough and another in the boys room, so that the boys have a separate space each to study or chill.

Good luck. I’d say get in to the council etc but I’m well aware that you are unlikely to be rehoused for years. Overcrowding is not a priority anymore. I know families of 6 living in one room waiting years and years to be rehoused. It’s a national crisis. Getting a 4 bed council house is like winning 20 million on the lottery. Your best bet is to push for them to build an extension or go up into the loft, again it will likely be years before this would even be considered. Apply for pip and research all your dds entitlements, she may be entitled to grants and charity support, use this money to help with getting a private let. There are landlords who will accept a larger family but you need to be realistic about area etc

And why should people who are overcrowded expect the council to give them a bigger home. If people choose to have huge families it should be their responsibility to house themselves adequately!

BessieSurtees · 25/03/2023 23:40

As others have said divide the room for the girls for now, see if you can bid on a 3 bed with a dining room and make that into 4th bedroom. 4 bed houses are almost impossible.

iminvestednow · 25/03/2023 23:40

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threeplusmum · 25/03/2023 23:42

If you can't afford to house 6 kids without everyone being on top of each other and miserable then I'd suggest stop getting pregnant and expecting social housing to give you a leg up. I am stopping at 3... because I can't possibly house any more. Wish people would stop being so selfish.

AlwaysGinPlease · 25/03/2023 23:43

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Absolutely agreed.

Unbelievable, the entitlement. When there are people not having children/more children because they don't have the room etc.

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:44

@Capricornone1 because we are a civilised society who should not wash our hands of our vulnerable people. Because lots of wages are not enough for people to afford a decent standard of living. Because even if we don’t agree with the parents choices we don’t turn away from the innocent children. Because as one of the riches countries in the world we should be able to offer adequate social housing as a minimum. Because the welfare state was set up to provide for people who cannot do so themselves. Because without adequate housing people will struggle to thrive and meet their potential especially children therefore continuing the cycle of poverty.

Whadda · 25/03/2023 23:46

woman in her 30s deals with consequences of her own actions

Are you the one dealing with the consequences, though?

Bookworms77 · 25/03/2023 23:48

I can see this being deleted soon.

BrieAndChilli · 25/03/2023 23:50

How much time do the kids spend with thier fathers? Could they go half the week and alternate so then eg the girls share a room but not there at the same time?
could the father contribute more for private rental?
get a caravan and stick it on the drive for the eldest?
could eldest go live with a relation?

unfortunately this is the situation you are in so it is what it is but you can’t get stoops at people having the opinion that people are reponsible for thier own choices and most people cut thier cloth accordingly.
we have 3 and I’ve done everything in my power to not have anymore as I know it would be too much of a drain on our resources.