Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

[MissMooley]

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

What load of nonsense, I will stick by my previous comments! It is irresponsible to have a huge family if you cannot adequately provide for them. I had one child to ensure I could provide everything they want and needed including their own room!

If you look on the FB page Family Lockdown Tips there are loads of posts where people ask about this & some good ideas on separating a room into two smaller rooms.

I don't think you & twins should share & you will need a lounge when they are toddlers.

Do you have a garden? Could you build something in garden like people did in lockdown to use as an extra space?

Do any go to their Dads? I was wondering if eldest could go and live with her Dad or grandparents?

Given you've been a parent for the best part of 2 decades and you would have known your 3rd but certainly 4th kid would strain things somewhat but continued to have them then I'd say you'll most likely be fine in whatever version of 'fine' means to you. Chaos is many people's baseline state. That said, I'd talk to the council and see where you stand.

@Capricornone1 empathy?
Your choices are your choices. Good for you. You don’t agree with op decisions so we should turn away from the innocent children? We should ignore the research around the poverty cycle?

You most likely and I’m making assumptions here, come from a place of privilege and have been able to make your decisions from that place. Not everyone can.

Place of privilege lol how the hell did you come to that conclusion? You could not be more wrong! Stop spouting nonsense!

For now turn the living room into a proper bedroom for you, your DH and the twins.

Then eventually turn the outhouse into your bedroom or the living room.

You can share with the twins for quite a while so there’s no rush to convert the outhouse.

It wouldn’t be fair to make your DDs share just because you chose to have more children than you can house.

As I have already stated, I don't expect to be rehoused. I was asking for solutions for the house I am currently in. I'm not remotely entitled.
Not that I should be justifying this, but I had a termination booked and couldn't go through with it.
I'm also sure with most of you being adults, that you're aware nothing is 100% effective.
My kids are just fine, and will continue to be fine. I just wanted bedroom solutions.

As a pp pointed out, I've been parenting for the best part of 2 decades now. I've also been dealing with how judgy forums are for as long, and knew there'd be the usual comments when I posted this. But as I hoped, I've also had some really helpful suggestions so thank you.

What a horrible thing to say.

@Capricornone1 if your say you didn’t come from a place of privilege then surely you would understand why people find themselves in such situations and have empathy for them.

@Capricornone1 indeed you do, reap what you sow and deal with it. Which is exactly what I'm doing.

I have empathy for people who get themselves into situations that they can’t control, churning out six kids that you cannot adequately house is a situation that can be avoided.

I would use the smallest bedroom as the living room area, split the largest (living?) room with furniture and thin boards to make 2 rooms for the girls, second largest room to you and the twins, boys still share.

We separated a room with 8'x4' very light hardboard tacked to the back of wardrobes and drawers, and tacked another piece of board to one wardrobe door to make a bigger 'door' that can be closed between the rooms. Difficult to explain!

What a truly horrible thing to say, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Would you be able to give a rough floor plan, with approx dimensions, windows, doors etc? There are some very creative people on here. Or, get your post moved to 'Property/DIY'. B&Q do a Lego type partition that doesn't need any internal fixing, it's all tension screws. It's completely configurable how you want, you can add windows/doors etc etc.

I’m not ashamed at all, I think it’s a pretty reasonable opinion (and judging by others comments, I’m not alone in my view)

Is the living room a separate room, meaning one that you don't need to pass through to get to other rooms e.g. kitchen and not a room you walk into from front door? If so, that'd be a good bedroom for someone. Could your DDs share even if it's not ideal or is it just not a good idea at all due to your older daughter's difficulties?

Things happen we don't plan for and I hope you can find a good solution for everyone and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well 💗

www.diy.com/ranges/building-ranges/alara

This is it. They used to do a more affordable version - the name of which I can't remember - but it does pop up on FB/eBay.

@Capricornone1 you have no idea what landed me here. Yes, a termination was possible but not everyone can go through with it. And I can assume the majority of people expect an unexpected pregnancy to result in 1 child, not 2 😂
I'm not even whinging or asking for sympathy. I'm asking for DIY advice really.

CalistoNoSolo · Yesterday 22:45
How irresponsible to have six children and be unable to house them adequately.

Exactly - sorry OP it’s not advice on housing you need but advice on contraception.

you must of expected the type of comments you are getting

@Chompybear can you direct me to a contraception that has a 100% success rate?

@SheilaWilde thabk you, I'll take a look.
@apapuchi yes, it's the first room you come to in the house so it's ideal

I think the best solution is the one in your OP. Girls in separate rooms, boys sharing and you and the twins in the living room. Obviously it’s not going to be great but I don’t think the existing children should have to compromise, especially your daughter with ASD and MH issues.

I literally said that a couple of posts ago.

@MissMooley ignore the perfect posters. They cannot wait for an opportunity to stick the boot in. You can see who the school bullies were. Let’s hope life continues to be perfect for them or they may just have to eat their words.