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Original poster

Is it ok for a 9 year old boy and 6 year old sister to share a bath?

159 replies

ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 20:45

Just that really. Prompted by another thread. It's got me thinking. Mine still share and seem very happy about it. But maybe I need to stop it. Thoughts?

NB 9 year old very young for his age (and only just turned 9)

OP posts:
Cordeliathecat · 18/03/2023 22:48

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 18/03/2023 22:32

Mine are similar ages - they no longer share a bath as they don't fit in together anymore! However DS will quite happily go in the shower while DD is in the bath.

Not the point of the thread at all, but I dream of having plumbing that allows someone to have a hot shower straight after a bath has been run!

Startingagainn · 18/03/2023 22:48

Jadviga · 18/03/2023 22:23

Dangerous how ? If you think they might end up having sex, well, probably not at 9 and 6 and probably not in a bath while mom is presumably supervising from afar 🙄 and brothers and sisters aren't usually attracted to one another (or children they grow up with in general). There have been studies on this.

I couldn't get worked up about this. But then maybe it's cultural - my finnish family members all go naked to sauna and no one bats an eyelid. It's only an issue if you make it one.

Show quote history

I don’t know about “attracted” to each other as abuse is complex but you do know incest is a very common form of child abuse right? Outside of the work I did in social services I can think of about 4 people I know in my personal life who were abused by either an older brother or an older male cousin when they were under 11. And it wasn’t always full blown sex, it could be the touching of private parts etc.

And I read numerous case files involving sibling abuse in previous job roles.

2022again · 18/03/2023 22:50

ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:50

Thanks everyone. I am curious whether those who are adamant it's a 'no' would feel the same if they were same sex siblings? Or if the girl was the older? And if they would be comfortable changing in front of their kids?

It's so interesting the range of answers here. My son is really quite young for his age and utterly uninterested by all the sex education at school (seems to find it quite tedious) and is happy being naked around family. So I don't feel the need to put an abrupt end to it. But I will talk to him about privacy and puberty and gently introduce the idea that he may feel differently one day. And remind him that it's not ok for anyone else to touch his private parts etc. (We've had this conversation once before but I'll go through it again.) And I'll talk to my daughter about it again too in a different way. They are both still 100% children and so I can't quite get my head round the idea that it's totally inappropriate at this age.

people are probably reacting specifically because its an older boy and a younger girl. 9 can be the lower end of when boys start to go through puberty. I think society-wise in the UK 8/9 is usually the point at which boys are no longer welcome in female toilets or changing areas for eg. so there starts to be lines drawn but obviously every family is different in how they work things out. I lived abroad as a teen and so aware there are hugely different attitudes to nakedness (we used to take a particular train journey past an area where people regularly sunbathed naked and what was shown on TV was somewhat eye-opening!). I only have girls so for me I have no problems with my body being seen by them but I doubt I would change in front of a 9 year old boy and my husband hasn't changed in front of my girls since reception age.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds 9 year olds Families
Dinopawus · 18/03/2023 22:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Dinopawus · 18/03/2023 22:56

Sorry - wrong thread

MrsRandom123 · 18/03/2023 22:56

No

mumyes · 18/03/2023 22:56

Perfectly ok if they're happy!

My ds & cousin dd share frequently & they love it.

Pootle40 · 18/03/2023 23:00

It's perfectly fine if they are ok with it.

Everyone wants to sexualise everything these days. Sad.

NaturalBae · 18/03/2023 23:00

No.

I echo the pp @22:48 re. Social Services work.

Phoebo · 18/03/2023 23:04

Pootle40 · 18/03/2023 23:00

It's perfectly fine if they are ok with it.

Everyone wants to sexualise everything these days. Sad.

It's not sad. I was touched by 'curious cousins' when I was young. It happens, so it's something that people need to be aware of

bedtimestories · 18/03/2023 23:06

When they want privacy

VisitationRights · 18/03/2023 23:06

NotJohnWick · 18/03/2023 22:40

Which countries?

Show quote history

Canada national occupancy standards:

  1. Children under 5 years, either of the same gender or opposite gender may share a bedroom
  2. Children under 18 years of the same gender can share a bedroom
  3. A child aged 5 – 17 years should not share a bedroom with a child under 5 of the opposite gender
MysteryBelle · 18/03/2023 23:08

No. Why would you want them to continue sharing a bath? They both need and deserve privacy.

Pootle40 · 18/03/2023 23:11

@VisitationRights

Do Canada provide the funds for less fortunate families to buy an extra bedroom ?

I grew up in a single parent family and my mum was severely disabled. My dad left a few years after buying us another two bedroom house. I was the older sibling and shared a bedroom with my brother until I was 12 and he was 8/9. I then eventually shared a bedroom with my mum until I left home at 22.

vamptable · 18/03/2023 23:15

I started puberty at 9. I was an only child but, had this been my situation, I would've struggled to ask for privacy. So on that basis, no it's not appropriate.

RedToothBrush · 18/03/2023 23:20

DS is 8. He's asking for privacy when changing.

Now is the time to be putting in some privacy for your eldest.

SarahJinx · 18/03/2023 23:22

It’s fine for them to share For as long as they’re comfortable to share. They’ll lead the way with it when they aren’t.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 18/03/2023 23:24

Why can't they each have a bath? Or a shower if you are trying to cut down on water/electricity use?

Escapetofrance · 18/03/2023 23:28

I wouldn’t, but every family is different.

WitheredandOld · 18/03/2023 23:32

My nine and seven year olds don’t bath together but they jump in the shower one after the other without turning the water off (their choice), one might clean their teeth while the other showers… they NEVER remember to close the bathroom door. They do however want privacy around others (it’s been years since they agreed to strip off under a towel after swimming for example.

I guess one of these days the nine year old will say no more, which is fine.

MoreSleepPleasee · 19/03/2023 00:11

Don't see any issue with it as long as the kids are comfortable. My son used to bath with his cousins at 8 or 9.

mindutopia · 19/03/2023 00:16

If they want to, yes, totally fine. Mine are the same age and usually bathe se, but they often ask to go in together and yes, we allow it maybe once a week. It would be more if they weren’t so bloody difficult to get out. 😩

Periornot · 19/03/2023 00:50

Ever so slightly younger than yours OP - they like to share. They rarely want a bath on their own as they have a more of a laugh sharing. I think they love the joking, chatting, messing around etc and having each other's full attention with no distractions. I think it's fine.

bluebeardswife7 · 19/03/2023 01:12

I wouldn't make a big deal of it, but I would start winding it down.

bluebeardswife7 · 19/03/2023 01:15

You don't want it to get all Flowers in the Attic