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Original poster

Is it ok for a 9 year old boy and 6 year old sister to share a bath?

159 replies

ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 20:45

Just that really. Prompted by another thread. It's got me thinking. Mine still share and seem very happy about it. But maybe I need to stop it. Thoughts?

NB 9 year old very young for his age (and only just turned 9)

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:08

Thanks, this is really interesting. They are genuinely just very happy to share at the moment. If I 'gave' them the privacy of separate baths, it would really mean insisting on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:10

Readingtheworld · 18/03/2023 21:06

My children are the same age & sex as yours OP and still share when they want to. Mainly they take it in turns to wear goggles and ‘swim’ under the water and write made up words with the bath letters on the wall. They are not touching each other inappropriately.

Mine are very like this. They play together very innocently in the bath making up stories about the various bath toys. As I say, he's quite a young 9.

OP posts:
purplepencilcase · 18/03/2023 21:10

What? Of course it's ok!

Mine bath together age 8 & 10 girl and boy, and with me.

Why wouldn't it be ok?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds 9 year olds Families
Sugarfree23 · 18/03/2023 21:11

If they are happy I'd leave them. But listen out for the older one saying No.

I've 2 boys at 9 older one was happy, but by 10 he said no.

LondonQueen · 18/03/2023 21:11

It's fine as long as both children are comfortable with it, as soon as they're not it stops. Nothing wrong with sharing IMO.

Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:11

The variety of responses here is fascinating!

OP posts:
Blort · 18/03/2023 21:13

Kids really struggle to ask for privacy when they need it. As a parent I try and remember that and build in privacy so it wont be difficult for them when they want to change or go to toilet alone etc.

As a comprise try doing some separate baths, and joint baths and you can gradually fade out the shared ones.

With my kids I offered them each their own bath bomb to enjoy and have their own bath.

AdamRyan · 18/03/2023 21:14

My kids are older now but I was happy with them sharing until they wanted to stop.
Bodies are not shameful. I think arbitrarily separating them is unnecessary.

Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:15

Thanks. I might have a little chat with the older one on his own to ask how he feels about it and to explain to him/remind him that even if he feels ok about it now he might soon want a bit more privacy.

OP posts:
Choconut · 18/03/2023 21:15

DS has SEN and I wondered if he would ever be bothered about privacy - but then very suddenly at 10 or 11 he was.

The idea that it's some how dangerous as one pp suggested when you're there seeing full well that it's all very innocent and sweet is just adults projecting their own fears on to children.

Do what's right for your kids, they'll let you know soon enough when they want their privacy.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 18/03/2023 21:16

I think it’s fine! Just make sure you ask every now and then, and give the privacy as the option - eg ‘do you want a bath on your own today’ rather than ‘would you rather not bath with your sister?’.
it is often easier to accept a positive offer than say you don’t want something iyswim

Choconut · 18/03/2023 21:16

Blort · 18/03/2023 21:13

Kids really struggle to ask for privacy when they need it. As a parent I try and remember that and build in privacy so it wont be difficult for them when they want to change or go to toilet alone etc.

As a comprise try doing some separate baths, and joint baths and you can gradually fade out the shared ones.

With my kids I offered them each their own bath bomb to enjoy and have their own bath.

Do they? Mine didn't at all - it was made very clear to me! What makes you think kids struggle to ask?

Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:16

I am now trying to remember when I wanted privacy in the bath myself... I think I was about 10 when I started to feel it.

OP posts:
NotJohnWick · 18/03/2023 21:17

Kids really struggle to ask for privacy when they need it.

This isn't my experience at all. My older child is almost 9. Wants privacy for the loo, happy to get changed around immediate family and bath with her brother, but very clearly not happy to change or bathe around other family. No problem communicating this. As soon as she's not happy sharing a bath it will stop. It doesn't happen much now as she has showers after sport instead of baths but she still enjoys the odd splash session.

Original poster
ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:17

Twoshoesnewshoes · 18/03/2023 21:16

I think it’s fine! Just make sure you ask every now and then, and give the privacy as the option - eg ‘do you want a bath on your own today’ rather than ‘would you rather not bath with your sister?’.
it is often easier to accept a positive offer than say you don’t want something iyswim

I like the idea of always asking, I think that's a good first step.

OP posts:
ohfook · 18/03/2023 21:18

In my experience you'll know when they're ready to bathe separately.

fUNNYfACE36 · 18/03/2023 21:19

No because 9 year old boys are starting to get curious.

BlackBarbies · 18/03/2023 21:19

TomatoSandwiches · 18/03/2023 21:04

No, 9 is a good age to start talking about changes to bodies,.privacy, autonomy etc and getting him in a routine of having a shower, washing his own hair etc setting a decent hygiene habit before the moody teen years come along.

Exactly this

BlackBarbies · 18/03/2023 21:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Also this

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 18/03/2023 21:21

Mine would be really sad if I stopped them bathing together, it’s one of the times they play most happily. Three plastic ducks and a load of old shampoo bottles and they’re in heaven!

MakeADecision · 18/03/2023 21:21

No

2022again · 18/03/2023 21:22

It’s a difficult one, generally I think it’s great when children have no body hang ups …..but your son is certainly at an age where exploring his body and someone else’s body can happen…did no one else ever play dr’s and nurses at this age?

PizzaEater54 · 18/03/2023 21:22

My two are the same age and my son started bathing by himself at about 8. He just naturally wanted his own privacy.

NannyGythaOgg · 18/03/2023 21:23

YES if they are happy with it

no if they aren't.

Although this is assuming that you are in the bathroom with them most of the time.

ourflagmeansdeath · 18/03/2023 21:23

No. They're both far too old.

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