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Original poster

Is it ok for a 9 year old boy and 6 year old sister to share a bath?

159 replies

ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 20:45

Just that really. Prompted by another thread. It's got me thinking. Mine still share and seem very happy about it. But maybe I need to stop it. Thoughts?

NB 9 year old very young for his age (and only just turned 9)

OP posts:
theysaiditgetseasier · 18/03/2023 22:05

No I wouldn't and I'm a very lax parent!

WinterMusings · 18/03/2023 22:07

It's fine for as long as they're both happy, fine for them to share with you too.

desperatelyseekingcaffeine · 18/03/2023 22:10

Mine are the same age and gender, always been happy bathing together. Have just started encouraging separate baths/showers as it feels like we should but kids are actually a bit resistant to it so still having a few shared baths as they like to play. He's not in the slightest bit bothered about being naked around family but is quite young/innocent from that point of view. We've had lots of conversations about bodies, boundaries, privacy etc so they'd be clear if they weren't happy

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6 year olds 9 year olds Families
Busybutbored · 18/03/2023 22:10

It probably depends on the children, if they're closely supervised it's probably OK. Definitely there will be "curiosity" probably around 7 so this is something to consider

Icecreamandapplepie · 18/03/2023 22:10

Ours are 8 and 7 (bg) and have recently started wanting their own baths but also still want to share sometimes. I've said when the boy turns 9 they will have to have their own bath... but if they still want to jump I'm together occasionally and show no signs of puberty yet I won't argue.

They mostly play crazy games with my little ponies when in there..

ScrollingLeaves · 18/03/2023 22:13

Probably not.

VisitationRights · 18/03/2023 22:13

Liorae · 18/03/2023 21:01

If they want it. Not all people live by British body fear.

Show quote history

It has nothing to do with body fear, it is a safeguarding issue. Some countries even ban different sex siblings from sharing a room after the age of 5.

skippy67 · 18/03/2023 22:13

No.

HollyFern1110 · 18/03/2023 22:13

I'd let them decide. You may find your DD requests privacy before your DS. There is no way any of mine would have shared baths at 9 but I wouldn't say it's "wrong" for pre-pubescent kids to do so if they are comfortable with it.

PinkSyCo · 18/03/2023 22:13

Perfectly fine for prepubescent kids of the opposite sex to share a bath, so long as they are both happy.

Cocobutt · 18/03/2023 22:15

My 9 year old DD would not have wanted to share a bath.

But my friend still shares a bath with his 8 year old DD.

Its a difficult one and I’d try and just reduce the amount of times they do it and slowly phase it out.

I’d be concerned that your eldest tells someone and then he ends up getting teased for it.

NadjaCravensworth1 · 18/03/2023 22:16

Cas112 · 18/03/2023 21:03

@Liorae it's not about body fear.. it's dangerous, I know no one likes to think like that but children shouldn't be sharing as they start getting older

How can you just make the blanket statement 'it's dangerous?' ...so bizarre.

milkysmum · 18/03/2023 22:16

No, I think by 9 it's too old to be sharing a bath with a younger sibling. I'd start phasing this out.

Dinopawus · 18/03/2023 22:20

Fuck no! How do you get to 9 and think this is remotely OK?

Reporting this thread as an mindful that it is Saturday evening. Interesting time to post about naked children in the bath.

Iguanainanigloo · 18/03/2023 22:22

My girls are 8 & 6 and I can't imagine them wanting to stop bath sharing anytime soon! Maybe it's different as they're the same sex, but I can't imagine feeling any differently if one were a boy? Maybe I would, but I can't imagine it, as they're still so young at those ages. If either of mine hinted that they wanted to bath alone that would be different, but if both have no issues with it, I don't see the problem. Sometimes dd1 will say she doesn't want a bath and she'll shower the next morning instead (because she's lazy!) And dd2 will beg her to bath with her, because they have so much fun playing in there together

Jadviga · 18/03/2023 22:23

Cas112 · 18/03/2023 21:03

@Liorae it's not about body fear.. it's dangerous, I know no one likes to think like that but children shouldn't be sharing as they start getting older

Dangerous how ? If you think they might end up having sex, well, probably not at 9 and 6 and probably not in a bath while mom is presumably supervising from afar 🙄 and brothers and sisters aren't usually attracted to one another (or children they grow up with in general). There have been studies on this.

I couldn't get worked up about this. But then maybe it's cultural - my finnish family members all go naked to sauna and no one bats an eyelid. It's only an issue if you make it one.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/03/2023 22:27

ilovemynewjumper · 18/03/2023 21:15

Thanks. I might have a little chat with the older one on his own to ask how he feels about it and to explain to him/remind him that even if he feels ok about it now he might soon want a bit more privacy.

I think this is sensible.

It is fine - but probably won’t be for long

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 18/03/2023 22:32

Mine are similar ages - they no longer share a bath as they don't fit in together anymore! However DS will quite happily go in the shower while DD is in the bath.

DutchCowgirl · 18/03/2023 22:33

Really fascinating reactions… i have 2 boys, so I don’t know how exactly this would work out in my family. But we all run around naked in the bathroom daily. My oldest is 12, starting to get a more manly body. But still showering with the bathroomdoor open. I really can’t see any danger in seeing close family naked.

purpledalmation · 18/03/2023 22:38

No.

Viviennemary · 18/03/2023 22:39

No I think it's time to stop.

NotJohnWick · 18/03/2023 22:40

VisitationRights · 18/03/2023 22:13

It has nothing to do with body fear, it is a safeguarding issue. Some countries even ban different sex siblings from sharing a room after the age of 5.

Show quote history

Which countries?

HowcanIhelp123 · 18/03/2023 22:40

No from me, girls periods can start as young as 8, I started at 10, as did many of my friends. You get changes before that. Imo around 7yo would be the cut off. The 9yo should be able to wash himself. I wouldn't be taking a 9yo son into the women's changing rooms, so he shouldn't be sharing his bath with female relatives either.

ScrollingLeaves · 18/03/2023 22:40

It is the danger of the older one using the younger one to experiment on sexually as this sometimes happens. I am speaking from experience though I can see how horrible this sounds in the face of all the genuine innocence others are reporting.

Startingagainn · 18/03/2023 22:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Exactly it’s not appropriate. I used to work in social services and the amount of kids including from middle class background who experienced unwanted touching by curious siblings or cousins is awful.

i never had bath times with my older brothers and nor did they walk around the house naked and partly Because of this, as a result I had good and healthy boundaries and was able to identify and stop what I think was an older kid trying to test my boundaries /groom me.

I also don’t think it’s that hygienic. If anything wash them separately and then get them in swimsuits and back in the bath 🛁 if they desperately want to play bath games.

is this a middle class thing? I grew up in a working class area and bathing children together older than 5 years old was never a thing as far as I know.