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Anyone else's DH do the post food shop 'parade'?

213 replies

CraneBoysMysteries · 18/03/2023 10:34


Most of the time, with two small children, I will organise the food shop. Either go and get it or do a click and collect order. We have a system of writing on a whiteboard everything we need. It's not too onerous and sort of just happens in the background

Today my DH has physically gone to the shops. And I've just had the post shop 'parade' as I call it

DH reached into bag and pulls out a cucumber 'look at this! We've not been able to get salad for weeks and I found one!!' (Beaming)

Pulls out loo roll. 'Now this is more expensive but is a bigger roll! Look how much fatter it is! So I reckon I've saved us some money here'. Me 'yes, we've had them for ages'

Reveals a dozen eggs 'AND I was able to find twelve eggs, but they're white! WHITE!! Amazing!'

Pulls out a couple of bottles of bleach. 'Now, I know you said bleach but you didn't say scent so I decided to go for lemon as thought it would make the loos smell a bit nicer! Good idea, right?'

...and on it goes. Each product has some story to it or money saving.

The food shop takes an hour but I reckon the post shop parade takes just as long 😆

Anyone else's other half do this or just mine? I do remind him that when I do it, it just happens but he seems to enjoy going over his haul for some reason

OP posts:

Yellowpotato · 18/03/2023 15:16

I think it is the old caveman in them LOOK WHAT I KILLED TO KEEP YOU ALIVE.

I do the look what I made from the crap you killed parade.


CraneBoysMysteries · 18/03/2023 15:28

Wow! Looks like DH has found his people 😊

Genuinely wasn't sure if it was just him but it seems like this really is a thing!

And I am LOVING those of you that do it for the dog

Our Labrador is the first to greet anyone back from a food shop and will weigh the bags down by sticking his nose as far in as he can to see what there is 😆 🐾

OP posts:

Skeuomorph · 18/03/2023 15:28

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I’m guessing you’re a man and lashing out because either a) you don’t do the shopping so have nothing to contribute, or b) you do the shopping but your wife isn’t interested enough to listen to you.


CraneBoysMysteries · 18/03/2023 15:33

And reading this thread has made me realise all the other things he does around it

✔️ phones with various updates 'I've just arrived and managed to park!'...'the deli counter is back, just having a look!' Etc

✔️ the 'price is right' game I.e 'guess how much I spent

✔️ marvel at my yellow sticker purchases

✔️ admire my supreme Tetris like packing!

✔️ the 'I know we didn't need hedge trimmers but they were in the middle aisle' admission

✔️'guess the treat/snack'

✔️ hark back to the great purchase decision every time we consume one of his choice products. 'Wow, I knew when I bought it that it was going to be good, but this is DELICIOUS'

I do like the idea of an awards ceremony next time...

OP posts:

endoftheworldniteclub · 18/03/2023 15:42

For next time buy one of those chocolate medals and hang around his neck.


JFDIYOLO · 18/03/2023 16:40

I love this ...

I also tell the mirror what makeup products I'm putting on, and hold them up with my hand behind them so it can focus, because I watch too many Insta reels


Giggorata · 18/03/2023 17:01

Mine does this, including keeping the best surprise bits hidden in the bags and then producing them with a flourish, as a grand finale.
I am expected to ooh and ahh at the mighty hunter - and to put them away, of course.
He is King of the yellow stickers, too.

If I accused him of enjoying shopping he would deny it, but I notice that he has taken it over almost completely (I have to make lists to get anything I want) and doesn't need much of an excuse to go to the shops.
If I even venture that we are running low on coffee or something, he is out the door in a flash.

He also buys weird things, “look, they had these tins of stewed snake in Aldi…” and all sorts from the middle of Lidl.
He admits that his role model is the Better Than That man from the Fast Show.


Notonthestairs · 18/03/2023 17:18

No food parade here.

DH sidles in trying to disguise how many bags of food he has. Mainly because he raids the bakery section for soda bread, tiger bread, sourdough (white), sourdough (dark), breadsticks, cob, baguettes, fruit loaf, crumpets & apple turnovers.
Everything has an expiry date of NOW.
My freezer is full of his bread purchases.

But he can't go to the shop without phoning me at least once.


Dominoeffecter · 18/03/2023 19:37

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Eurgh 😖


Cantbebothered90 · 19/03/2023 10:10

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WolfFoxHare · 19/03/2023 10:11

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There’s shame in being a patronising unpleasant dismissive dick though. Just a thought.


Skeuomorph · 19/03/2023 10:12

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Are you a man?


LozzaChops101 · 19/03/2023 10:17

Oh no. I definitely do this. Only I’m showing the dog. 😫


FirstMate · 19/03/2023 10:20

We have a system of writing on a whiteboard everything we need. It's not too onerous and sort of just happens in the background

@CraneBoysMysteries, we used to have an actual chalkboard. CHALK! Now we have a shared list on our phones that we can both update instantly from anywhere. Game changer Grin


SameToo · 19/03/2023 10:25

Oh god 😂 I do this and I also show him things I’ve cleaned or tidied if it’s something moved to a new place or an improvement in the existing. Am I insufferable 😱😂


Polis · 19/03/2023 11:10

we used to have an actual chalkboard. CHALK!

We have a blackboard in the kitchen. We still use them at work.


DataColour · 19/03/2023 11:15

Haha when I send my DH to the shops to get a few things, once he's home he puts it all out on the kitchen countertops, like an offering to the gods! He does put it away eventually, but he says he does it so that I know what he's bought before putting it away, makes sense I guess but does annoy me when I'm trying to do something in the kitchen.


Margo34 · 19/03/2023 11:19

Yep mine does. He also did the post-cleaning parade last week because he cleaned the kitchen sink "look come and see, I got us a new sink <jokes>...I even used my old toothbrush to do it. I wonder how long we'll keep it clean for?"

...Oh you know, probably until I clean it again next week...the question should really be when are you going to start rinsing your staining tea dregs out of the sink? 🤦


IAteAllTheTomatoes · 19/03/2023 12:01

My DP does this and I strangely find it endearing, especially with the "I know how much you like mushrooms so I got these really cool ones". Mushrooms are mushrooms but it's the thought that counts.

He does a parade with most stuff he's proud of....Come here and I look at the new shelf I put up. Stands back, looks proud as hell & well chuffed with himself.

And the pride show after waxing his car.....yes, dear, never seen it look so good. You're right, it definitely didn't look that good the day you bought it. 😉

My reaction to it let's me know I'm still in love! I would find it tedious coming from anyone else but endearing from him!


WolfFoxHare · 19/03/2023 12:28

My husband just did it about some gardening things he’s got done this morning - ‘something something moss killer on the drive blah blah fungicide on the roses blah’. I just nodded and smiled and said ‘Well done darlIng’


Crumpledstilstkin · 19/03/2023 12:32

We also do this. You would not have enjoyed the post vegan prawn cracker breakdown, it went on for days 🤣


Whatisthisanyidea · 19/03/2023 12:33

You missed one

…. I am presented with the said shopping - even if it’s something only he eats …

Look I got some pesto pasta for lunch, (yuk) pulls it out the bag like Paul Daniels wowing is with a bunch of flowers …. Tada!!!


OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 19/03/2023 13:50

I dare you to buy a big shiny medal with Clever Boy or similar on it and next time he does this, pin it to his chest and walk away chuckling!


Battyfumworts · 19/03/2023 14:25

OMG YES! Every.single.time

It drives me mad. It’s every food shop or quick trip to the shops and I’m usually trying to work or concentrate on something important while he just talks at me. I have said something but it continues and I now can’t hide my irritation and he says “why are you so horrible to me”

Its not limited to shopping, he’s recently learned how to use the washing machine and dishwasher and has to run me through how it works, like I’m not the one who’s kept everyone in clean clothes and dishes for the best part of a decade.


HoneyPotBee · 19/03/2023 15:26

You and your DH sound like me and my DP in reverse 😅

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