Why do people enjoy giving little children junk food?

[Tietheapron]

I am very much in favour of balance in all areas. DS is two. At the moment, we haven’t got a massively fussy stage - there’s a handful of things he doesn’t seem too keen on and I imagine this will probably expand as he gets a bit older before then (hopefully!) getting a bit more variety. So to give an example, on Thursday he had porridge for breakfast and then a rich tea biscuit at a music group we go to in the morning. Then had to go into the bank so he had to go in the pushchair - had a banana to keep him quiet! As a result all he wanted for lunch was maybe half a ham sandwich and a few baby crisps. Then homemade pizza with veg on for tea. I’m explaining this so it’s clear I don’t completely raise him on fruit grown from the garden and eggs from our own chickens.

But then this morning he ate a bowl of shreddies and then DH gave him a biscuit, actually going in the kitchen to get him one (so not like DS found them and hoovered one up.) Visit PIL and they try to ply him with mars bars and ice creams, big ones for adults. (We don’t see PIL often, not for this reason as they are actually lovely people but they aren’t local.) Brother came to see DS and took him for a walk in the park, ignored the water bottle and bought him a fruit shoot and fruit pastilles.

I don’t want to sound like a neurotic mum here and I’m sure plenty of people will say to get a grip, I’m lucky people are nice to DS but I suppose this is my question really - why does kindness and love have to be shown through food? Isn’t it enough to go to the park with him, to read to him, play in the garden (they do this too!)

I hate sounding like a killjoy but I really don’t want him associating everyone but me with junk food!

Let's look at the bigger picture. I understand that you're stressing about food - that's normal. However, at the end of the day you are looking to raise a well balanced child. Sing with him. Paint messily. Bake unhealthy cakes and cover them in sugar. Those are the things that will be remembered and influence.

I just wish I could be left alone to feed him as I see fit to be honest. I definitely underestimated the power of pressure on parents, never mind kids, to feed crap.

OK so why do I have to bake unhealthy cakes (and no, thanks all the same, the thought of baking with my toddler makes me cope with dread!) Why do they have to be covered in sugar?

Fruit pastilles are a choking hazard for a toddler. And I would be really pissed off at treats like this and Mars bars. I wouldn’t care about a biscuit really

Hi Op
I have just been to my local Jenkins cafe ,seen a mother daughter and two children one baby and one older child looked 5 yrs age or 6yrs,
Older child had a bottle of Coke cola and a bap roll with sausages,

They might aswell given their child Big mac's and a fries for breakfast,
Or a greasy Spoon Caff style English breakfast grub,

Pathetic choice of food 🙄 to give to a child,

I know what you mean, @Tietheapron

Rough as hell way of thinking,

sugar addiction is a myth

What's wrong with a sausage bap for a 6 year old?

It’s a cheap, easy way to treat children but I think it’s lazy and old fashioned. My in laws fed our DC with chocolates and sweets and then moaned when they had sugar meltdowns.

No such thing as a sugar meltdown. These threads are also just another way to bash grandparents especially MiLs.

I think the fact that there are millions of obese people in the UK addicted to sugary carbs might not back up your claim that it is a myth.

You don't. You sound as though you are doing a great job.

😄

Of course it isn't.

No you’re right . Eating a balanced whole food meal has exactly the same effect on blood sugar levels as processed sugary carbs does… 😅

Yikes you have issues! I don’t even know where to begin!

OP, I agree. So many kids with sugar and processed food addictions, from being fed crap all day long by parents (and other adults) who think that’s entirely normal. And we wonder why obesity is such an issue in UK.

I'm completely with you @Tietheapron but from past experience most Mumsnetters will think you are mad.

Your DS is two! That is tiny.

Adult sized mars bars and ice creams?? So awful.

Actually you have reminded me of being back at my inlaws and at dessert time, MIL serving up massive portions of sugary dessert for the kids. I would just take the bowl and say "Oh can you take half of that off please, it's too much". All nicey nicey but challenging and stopping it.

In your position I would fight it becuase I would not want my two year old eating such rubbish. There of plenty of years ahead of him for the sugary world we live in.

Last thing, I have no idea how much sugar is in a rich tea biscuit but I had one recently and thought it was delicious 😎.

I guess as other PP's have said they want to make the child happy. My mum is VERY keen to give my 8 month old chocolate cake but I've so far resisted (she's been asking for about a month/from when he was 7 months). When he's older maybe but not for a while yet! Funny thing is we weren't really allowed chocolate growing up it was an occasional treat yet every time she sees the baby she wants to give him something sweet (chocolate, or suggests putting honey on a dummy for him) why the different approach now I don't know!

In the UK, 65% of children’s calories come from ultra processed food.

OP, I’m completely with you but there’s a reason you’re getting so much pushback. Feeding kids UPF is normalised in this country and it’s leading to serious health problems.

I generally can't get excited. I try view it as what my toddler has eaten over a week and then an ice cream with a grandparent is such a small part of that puzzle.

I'm also trying to raise her with the idea that there's foods we have every day and foods we have sometimes, not good food or bad food or whatever. 'Fun' food was extremely restricted in my house growing up and I was absolutely obsessed by it as a child and into young adulthood. I'd rather her just grow up knowing you can have chocolate and that's fine, nothing bad will happen.

That said, I do find sometimes grandparents take it to a ridiculous extreme. My MiL bought her a three scoop chocolate waffle cone thing and I was angry because... come on. But I just asked her to buy a single scoop like a normal person in future.

Love it!! Happy Children! Given them cabbage/Kiwi/carrots for Mothers Day! x

I love a rich tea biscuit! Anyway, I’m with you OP. It doesn’t sound like your DC actually asked for chocolate or fruit pastilles, so what was the point in giving them to him?

I had no restrictions on sugar growing up myself and I can’t go a single day without snacking on sugary foods. My mum on the other hand grew up in a culture where they don’t eat many sugary foods and she isn’t that bothered about sweet treats. I wish I could be like that!

I don't see treats as a big issue personally, it's not every day. However I understand where you're coming from as I would not be happy with my 2yo being given a mars bar or fruit pastilles. A wee ice cream or a fruit shoot wouldn't bother me though.
Your DS sounds like he has a good balanced diet so I wouldn't worry too much, just maybe mention (if you feel like it wouldn't cause a big issue) things you'd rather they give him instead. Your DH giving him a biscuit wouldn't bother me, mine has a biscoff or a bourbon as part of her morning snack a lot of the time!
I'm a big believer of everything in moderation and not overly restricting certain foods/putting them on a pedestal.

Wow, that is really high. It's terrible, poor kids.

Haha! They don't really, but thank you for responding. I think that I'm saying that having fun is the most important thing here. My 3 are all grown up now. They do completely different things, but (I Hope!) are happy. I was an utterly useless mother, and did everything wrong, but I have one who is a (fully qualified) carer (vv special needs - so proud), one who is a top chef, and another a curator in one of the most famous establishments in London. How the hell that happened, I have no idea. I was a single parent, but, we had fun, ate the wrong food, did all the wrong things, sang a lot, and did lots and lots of exploring.

Don't grind yourself down by the odd biscuit OP. Love and play x

Whereas my parents had the same "rule" and as soon as I had access to my own money, it all went on junk food - McDonald's, coke, sweets, crisps, massive bars of chocolate. Restricting things can work both ways - there's no guarantee that what worked for you will work for your kids.

Literally:

*Zer · Today 08:55
Meandfour · Today 08:54
All I can think is your poor child being given a rich tea. I think he needed the treats as reward for eating such a crap biscuit 😂

And this is, literally, why we have so many kids with sugar addictions.*

OP, don't you think it's odd that you object to your child being given a treat but will give a piece of food to keep your kid quiet? The Mars Bar - does he eat the whole thing? I doubt it.

Personally I feel like food can be an amazing positive and pleasure in life, so I don't say no to anything, I just limit the amount according to how much the child has eaten that day and when we're next having a meal. Seems to work as I have three boys who are all good at self-regulating. I'm not I'm a fat bugger but I'm a grown adult.