Why do people enjoy giving little children junk food?

[Tietheapron]

I am very much in favour of balance in all areas. DS is two. At the moment, we haven’t got a massively fussy stage - there’s a handful of things he doesn’t seem too keen on and I imagine this will probably expand as he gets a bit older before then (hopefully!) getting a bit more variety. So to give an example, on Thursday he had porridge for breakfast and then a rich tea biscuit at a music group we go to in the morning. Then had to go into the bank so he had to go in the pushchair - had a banana to keep him quiet! As a result all he wanted for lunch was maybe half a ham sandwich and a few baby crisps. Then homemade pizza with veg on for tea. I’m explaining this so it’s clear I don’t completely raise him on fruit grown from the garden and eggs from our own chickens.

But then this morning he ate a bowl of shreddies and then DH gave him a biscuit, actually going in the kitchen to get him one (so not like DS found them and hoovered one up.) Visit PIL and they try to ply him with mars bars and ice creams, big ones for adults. (We don’t see PIL often, not for this reason as they are actually lovely people but they aren’t local.) Brother came to see DS and took him for a walk in the park, ignored the water bottle and bought him a fruit shoot and fruit pastilles.

I don’t want to sound like a neurotic mum here and I’m sure plenty of people will say to get a grip, I’m lucky people are nice to DS but I suppose this is my question really - why does kindness and love have to be shown through food? Isn’t it enough to go to the park with him, to read to him, play in the garden (they do this too!)

I hate sounding like a killjoy but I really don’t want him associating everyone but me with junk food!

He's your first, right? Your second will be sucking on McDonalds fries before they turn 1 😂

None of my friends were quite as bad as me

They did like junk and sweets, don't get me wrong, but would still pick the healthy option sometimes. I always went for the "junk" or unhealthy options - even into my late teens and early twenties - as I was just never allowed any of it growing up and it was such a novelty to me.

Their approach definitely had a negative impact on me for a good while and they've both said they wish they weren't as strict/restrictive with me.

OP I think you're being perfectly reasonable in your approach and in being annoyed at the constant drive to feed kids unnecessary processed food. My 3.5 yo has cake etc reasonably often, as well as home cooked meals and fruit/veg snacks. Balance is best imo but if someone gave him an adult sized mars bar or pack of fruit pastilles I'd be really questioning their reasoning. Aside from anything jelly sweets, especially round ones, are a choking hazard at 2 and both of those examples are just packed with sugar and nothing helpful for their bodies. Maybe I am a dragon because I don't think any of my family would do it (although my in laws did and kept leaving out bowls of biscuits and sweets for him to eat and couldn't understand why he then wouldn't eat any meals at their house). Stuff like this winds me up - if they can't respect your parenting choices then they aren't showing you any respect as an adult.

Are you alright?

But it is not a physical addiction.

There was a recent programme made by a doctor where he ate lots of ultra processed food for a short period (a month?). A brain scan before and afterwards demonstrated that his brain was altered during that time in a similar way to would have been expected if he'd been consuming drugs. Consumption of ultra processed "food" changes our brain.

Comments like this drive me nuts. Nope, neither my second nor my third had any fast food until they were over 5 and 3 respectively.

What nonsense. I have never been inside a MacDonalds and having children did not change that - why would it?

Anyway, this has been an interesting thread. It appears the drive to offer sweets to children is a lazy attempt to buy quick love at the expense of the child’s long term well being. So not kind at all really.

Here is your medal @cheatingcrackers 🏅

But the point of the thread is that other people are feeding her kids crap.

Keep up!

Jesus wept. My elder DC love kisses, they come to me for them. My 5mo likes to munch on my lower lip, does that mean I need punching for allowing his precious person near my mouth?

I don't have cold sores, I'm not infectious in any way, and my DC choose to kiss me. I'd never force them to kiss ANYONE on the lips, it's their choice to do so. Maybe you'd like to punch them too?

No medal needed for her. Mine didn’t either. It’s not hard. You’re trying to normalise something that lots of parents don’t do.

Why the hell would you introduce McDonald’s to a 3yo who doesn’t know it exists?

Some of the stuff mentioned on this thread is downright dangerous (according to the NHS, not me).

Chocolate buttons (choking), McDonalds fries (salt is really bad for baby kidneys) and honey (botulism) to under 1s is crazy.

This is fairly meaningless , how do we know what the actual experiment involved.
As i said the sugar experiments were totally misrepresented in numerous books which were written to sell books and make money. Nobody is going to buy a book that says you can eat what you want in moderation are they. Posters like the OP needs to virtue signal about how good a parent they are and sugar is evil is what they want to here

I never actually refused food to my dc, they were allowed sweets and biscuits etc and now as adults they have a really healthy attitude to food

It's so odd that so many are terrified of restriction having an ill effect on their eating habits but find it fine for copious amounts of crap food- such a warped way of thinking. The reality is a balance between the 2 is best, but lots have no clue what that looks like. A 6 year old drinking coca cola is sad, in what way does it actually enrich their life? At least as an adult you can make an informed decision if you want it- squash, fruit juice etc still have sugar in but at least they have some value. Their poor teeth as well as the shaping of their taste buds at such a formative age. It's also not the case that the majority of parents give mcdonalds to super young children.

The issue is lots have no idea about moderation, as these comments show.

If it’s a wee treat from a grandparent or uncle or aunt I don’t see what the problem is. If you’ve categorically stated no do not give them sweets, juice etc and they go against it then that’s different.

@MuffinToSeeHere you've hit the nail on the head here!!

@ancientgran 😱any idea why? My guess would be that they thought that the alcohol, I dunno, might numb the gums or something, although I don't think it would actually work... I had read that some people in the victorian times or something put gin in babies bottles but I might be getting confused with a novel that I read!

YANBU, OP. In particular, fruit pastilles are a choking hazard for a child that young and I personally see a full-sized Mars as an adult chocolate bar. Your toddler doesn’t have a restrictive diet so your relatives should respect your decision to parent this way in this instance.

I agree with all the PPs who have said about moderation. I was allowed to eat what I wanted as a child and I have spent most of my adult life on a diet (just like my mother) - something I have worked hard to undo as a mother myself, especially of a daughter. Yes, I know there’ll be some reading this who had a similarly indulgent childhood yet have a perfectly healthy relationship with food as an adult.

Parenting is hard and getting the balance right is even harder.

I didn’t order him a dominoes

No Dominos? 😮

And you DARE to call yourself a mother! 😠

Domino's is disgusting. Dd wanted them at her party and I had a slice - it was like eating a jam sandwich

THIS is the problem.

OP I agree with you.

I also agree 100% with this.

We have this culture of ‘oh, a little bit won’t do any harm’, but it’s not a little bit, that’s the problem.

We’ve sleepwalked into a childhood obesity problem.

its never been a prolem with friends and family. The kids that are banned from sweets and treats are the ones that end up bingers

Totally agree with this.