Why do people enjoy giving little children junk food?

[Tietheapron]

I am very much in favour of balance in all areas. DS is two. At the moment, we haven’t got a massively fussy stage - there’s a handful of things he doesn’t seem too keen on and I imagine this will probably expand as he gets a bit older before then (hopefully!) getting a bit more variety. So to give an example, on Thursday he had porridge for breakfast and then a rich tea biscuit at a music group we go to in the morning. Then had to go into the bank so he had to go in the pushchair - had a banana to keep him quiet! As a result all he wanted for lunch was maybe half a ham sandwich and a few baby crisps. Then homemade pizza with veg on for tea. I’m explaining this so it’s clear I don’t completely raise him on fruit grown from the garden and eggs from our own chickens.

But then this morning he ate a bowl of shreddies and then DH gave him a biscuit, actually going in the kitchen to get him one (so not like DS found them and hoovered one up.) Visit PIL and they try to ply him with mars bars and ice creams, big ones for adults. (We don’t see PIL often, not for this reason as they are actually lovely people but they aren’t local.) Brother came to see DS and took him for a walk in the park, ignored the water bottle and bought him a fruit shoot and fruit pastilles.

I don’t want to sound like a neurotic mum here and I’m sure plenty of people will say to get a grip, I’m lucky people are nice to DS but I suppose this is my question really - why does kindness and love have to be shown through food? Isn’t it enough to go to the park with him, to read to him, play in the garden (they do this too!)

I hate sounding like a killjoy but I really don’t want him associating everyone but me with junk food!

Yanbu at all!

Having listened to the most recent research on heavily processed food is actually quite frightening and we will look back on this period as it used to look back at when cigarettes were promoted for lung health.

One of the kids grandparents in assessed about letting them all kinds of shit for no good reason. Eating off of that when they are teenagers and it's out of your hands.

Did my head in when they were younger. Is completely unnecessary at that age and I'll be completely happy with milk and some fruit or toast.

What's wrong with a 6yo having a sausage sandwich?!

Maybe your parents didn't make it feel like a positive healthy thing for you? I would certainly feel that I'd done a bad job if any of mine spent all their own earned money on Macdonalds and junk. What a waste of money!

I’m with you OP. There is absolutely no benefit to feeding a 2 year old junk. Soon enough they will be at school and getting constant sweeties at parties and party bags but why not ensure a healthy diet when they are young? There is no good reason at all and it’s weird that people get so defensive about this. And my ILs have always been brilliant about this, so I’m not grandparent bashing in the slightest.

You really take it serious if someone says “they deserve a great for eating a rich tea biscuit”

Honestly??

@Meandfour i think we’re talking about two different posts to be honest. It’s an interesting thread, I don’t think there’s any need to keep diverting it.

My mum (no longer with us) was all for a drop of John Jameson whisky on a dummy. Given how many relatives died of cirrhosis of the liver I wasn't so keen. I'd have been relieved at a bit of honey.

I am surprised you haven’t been tied to the mumsnet ducking stool for giving him a banana while in the pushchair. Don’t you know that giving a small child a banana unless under strict medical supervision with a resuscitation team on standby is a MN crime equivalent to feeding your child barbed wire sandwiches. Next time stick to the rich tea biscuits, at least then you only get the sugar police on your back.

It was perfectly obvious it was a joke.

YANBU OP. My step kids are fed a tonne of crap by their mum and are now very overweight. I feel really sorry for them: it’s not their fault, obviously a young child will eat whatever treats are put in front of them.

I quoted this poster and asked how this was funny.

For some reason @Meandfour got huffy and thought I was referring to her post.

Yes, it was a joke (meandfours post, I mean) but it really wasn’t so side splitting we all need to be chortling about it six pages on.

I’m with you @Tietheapron. I asked for advice from MN a few days ago regarding my 22 month old’s resistance to an oral medication…. And I got stacks of genuinely helpful responses, but also a stack of “have his favourite treat ready”, “chocolate buttons”, “I’m surprised you haven’t thought of chocolate” and so on. I realised my son doesn’t have a favourite treat nor know what chocolate is. Like yours, he is a fruit lover and his one food request is always “more yo” (yogurt). I’d stick to your guns on this, there are so so many years ahead for junk, just seems crazy that they need it so young. I find it hard sometimes when other parents in the park are often placating an unsettled kid with snacks and they offer to my son, I let him decide whether or not to take it, but I do find it decreases appetite for full meals too. Not the end of the world, but constant snacking and treating baffles me.

I know what you mean OP. I generally let things go as a treat from other people. I do have certain things like fizzy drinks which I'm against him drinking. I was raised on cola as a child and it rotted my teeth.

It is, the scientist who did the research said he is misquoted.

My ex's sister told me not to introduce them to snack foods sweets and chocolates until they were at least two. My son would pick a piece of fruit over anything else.

Not at all. They were just obsessive to the point where it became detrimental.

In fact, my dad became so obsessive that he now has orthorexia and and extremely unhealthy, unbalanced relationship with food and exercise.

Well, is definitely psychologically addictive if nothing else.

Well they certainly didn't make it a positive healthy choice then!

I like how you assume you know more about my childhood than I do

My parents did a great job with the knowledge they had at the time - I don't feel the need to judge them for how they chose to raise me. I had a fantastic childhood and was very happy - but in hindsight they shouldn't have been so obsessive and they've even admitted so themselves.

OK I'm confused - they were obsessive to the point of eating disorders and left you with an inability to self regulate your food intake. I'm pretty sure that's not healthy or positive.

Because they dont realise they are actually harming them. And because they are buying "love".

Hang on - I never said I was left with an inability to self-regulate my food intake

What I did say was that as soon as I had access to my own money (eg, pocket money as a pre-teen/teen) I went out and spent it on all the stuff I was never allowed at home.

But as an adult I'm perfectly capable of self-regulating and eating a healthy diet. My mum also has a perfectly normal/healthy attitude to food and drink - it's only my dad who is obsessive - probably partially as a result of autism.

But I'm glad you think you know more about my parents and my upbringing than I do

If they practice good oral care, some sugar will do no harm.

Speaking as the mum of 3 young adults without a single filling, who were allowed treats in moderation while younger, and indulged themselves more when the matter was no longer in our control.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts I was the same, quite restricted as a child and then spent loads of money on junk when I had access to it. But so did all my friends - as teenagers we would regularly go to Woolies and buy 5 chocolate bars for a pound and then scoff them all - and nobody else had had such strict parents on that front. So maybe it’s just quite common for teens to spend money on junk food?!

Anyway, I’m grateful that my parents were strict about sugar when we were little. Both DBro and I have always loved fruit and veg, we both have very healthy diets by choice now, excellent teeth, healthy weights without making much effort. Total anecdote but I’ve broadly followed my parents’ approach.

But it is not a physical addiction. If it's psychology there is something else going on which needs to be addressed.