Right, time to get a POSSE together and go get the fucker - who's with me?

[LaurieFairyCake]

And what role would you like to be assigned?

(We're off to drug and capture Putin the bastard)

In it for the voddy and lemon drizzle!!

I can definitely smother the guards in my cleavage. If not then I can also use the teacher death stare or raised eyebrow to bring them into line.

Recently had chuckout and found a CD (!) Of early learning centre children's songs for the car. Three hours of that and the fucker will be screaming to be put of of his misery.

That CD explains a lot about my mental state in the early days of motherhood......

@MartinQBlank I thought you sold couch insurance?!

I've perfected a long low growl that apparently scares the shit out of people. If that might be useful.

I'm good at macrame so can fashion a net to catch him with. I could also knot some ropes together should we need to abseil into the Kremlin.

Ds6 would make an excellent hype man for all the torture, and dd8 can ask him endless questions until he eventually gives up and dies.

My menopausal Cloak of Invisibility might be handy. And I am permanently overheating so can keep you all warm or reduce him to a sweaty heap by standing too close.

I would love more than anything for 'someone to hold the cardigans' to be the one thing that made a different to his downfall and to be quoted in The Hague. That level of embarrassment would surely do for him.

we need La Femme Nikita!!! Peta Wilson would take him out no problem 🤣

Oooh I’m in if you’ll have me!

Im very good at saying NO, and meaning it. So I can shut down any of his attempts at weaselling, wining, fudging, excusing and general getting away with any shit.

I'm good with a sewing machine and a dab hand at baking/cooking so can help with those tasks. I quite enjoy drawing cute little Kawaii food characters, which would help with moral and putting a smile on everyone's faces!
Also have an impressive internal sat nav that allows me to always find my destination by following my nose. 😁
I could also help encourage an uprising by belting out "Do you hear the people sing?" from Les Miserables and supply a sledgehammer and extra sharp pruning shears in case any extra encouragement is needed. 😉

You will need a nice wee cup of tea after all that rampaging, I'll get some nice biscuits

I'm a nurse. I can bring the drugs.

Oh yes, and my line 'I don't care who started it, I'm stopping it' is usually very effective.

I have a large collection of power tools, including a very large angle grinder and no qualms about using them on him 😈

I can also bring a nail gun and can probably get hold of some shot guns from my farmer neighbours. Some of them will probably have some old school pitch forks so we could look like a proper posse.

I know an undertaker...

I'm morally flexible

He is good at judo so dont try to engage him in hand to hand combat. Take a weapon

If he takes his shirt off and tries to escape on horseback whilst swigging vodka, well I'm willing to get on a horse and give chase. It won't be the first time for me riding a horse whilst topless and a bit pissed

Not quite. He is a 7th dan in judo and was the president of the world judo federation (although not anymore). My kids do the sport

Ooooo yes..."you're my bi@£h now" 😆

My dad - former butcher - also taught me how to joint carcasses. Just saying.

I come and treat him to my best Paddington stare. That will freeze him so that others can deliver their most creative punishments

Ooo, yes! I can do the dominatrix bit, and probably pee on the henchman....

I can bring a Jack Russell who hates men. He will have no ankles left😁

I can also make good biscuits. We will need good biscuits.

I am very very anxious so I can make us a list of everything that could possibly go wrong so we can formulate many plans

PowerPoints that post-rationalise whatever has already been done are my specialist skill, so I'll knock one up to send to the UN afterwards.