Right, time to get a POSSE together and go get the fucker - who's with me?

[LaurieFairyCake]

And what role would you like to be assigned?

(We're off to drug and capture Putin the bastard)

Not sure about dominatrix, but I could totally sit on him. Wouldn't be going anywhere.

Oh, I'd be up for that. I'm not a dominatrix but I used to be an actress and played one. I will even bring a thermos of the dog's piss (and he has a strong healthy jet, so there's an inexhaustible supply) along with me, should it be required.

Slightly off topic, but I've often thought that if there is someone that is particularly evil, if 1,000,000 people donated to a GoFundMe type exercise to raise funds to hire a hitman, what would the legal system do? There's not enough room for everyone to be imprisoned!

Obviously the main organisers/participants would be punishable, but what about old Joanna Bloggs that donated a fiver to the cause?!

I'm good at getting up early so can wake up the troops.

And I'm learning the guitar so we can have some camp fire singalongs, any use?

I’m good at research, play a long game and am a super sleuth. I can read maps so I bag the surveillance work, watching his movements in my brown mac’ and trilby. Will report back.

Menopausal and quite often on the verge of aggression so I'm in!
I also know loads of songs we can sing in the car on the way to get him

I speak Russian and am good at Russian culture, so I'll pretend to be local.
(goes to hunt out fur hat and big overcoat)

Or I could just stand and laugh at him. He really wouldn't like that, he likes everyone to take him so seriously.

I might be taller than him actually...... (he wouldn't like that either)

I'm trained in explosive ordnance disposal, can I help?

Can I be the annoying one who sits in the room and talks so much he wishes he could bash his head in?

Oooo that's impressive

I'm not too shabby with a sewing machine, I can make uniforms. What do you think, fatigues or dress uniform? How many will we need?

Can I stand at the back with the (wet)blue paper towels?

I will bring my 14 year old twins. He'll be begging to be shot after listening to the bickering for 10 mins.

Cука блять

I know three Whippet sisters that planned to take Putin out.
One says ''Would you like to stroke me, I'm {Undercover name}
The other two nip in and administer a bite to the jugular.

can you tell him what an inadequate sub human pathetic little squirt the whole world thinks he is? And that is how he will be remembered.

I did karate when I was 10 so I can chop him in the head to incapacitate him, or after his painful injections just do it for fun.

I can bring 3 boys, two hoodlums under 10 plus a grumpy teen - I promise that will scare him

Plus I’m waiting for a shotgun certificate so if you can wait a year or two I can come armed

I do a good Paddington hard stare, and if I choose to use it a voice that says don't mess with me if you want to see your next birthday.

Despite only being 5' 1" I was head bouncer at uni and I've still got it.

I also make a mean carrot cake.

I would love to eyeball him, so I'm in.

I’m good at a picnic so happy to do the food, and allergies or religious diets I need to be aware of?

I will bring my baseball bat and stanley knife, but I don't think he will get to The Hague in one piece.

My teenager can slam a door so violently it sounds like a gun shot. Could be a good decoy?

I can ask him how he is, and I can tell him that unless he speaks slowly I won't understand. Can also shout for help and call people stupid.

That'll do right?

I was a crack shot with a pistol (when that was still legal) and nearly 20 years of teaching has left me with the ability to stop fights with a single word.
Plus am also menopausal and totally pissed off with what this shithead has done. Could get violent!

I could bring my marching drum , a whistle and this cute Master Lenin badge . A young Communist gave it to me when I visited Leningrad in the sixties .