Football causing issues between dad and Husband

[Nowheretogo1985]

Hello!
Anyone got any advice please? It sounds ridiculous but football is causing a problem between my dad and Husband.
Both are passionate about the teams they support (both different) but my husband doesn't want my dad talking to my son about the team he supports as he feels like my dad is trying to coax him away from my husband's team. If that makes sense!
My dad wants to take my son to a match but husband won't allow him.
My husband came home from work last week and my dad (who was looking after my children) had drawn the emblem of his football team on the children's chalkboard. Words have been exchanged via text between both men (my husband asked him not to do such things) and now I feel like it's awkward. I can see them really falling out over it.
I'm just not sure what to do 😭
Sorry if it's sounds trivial but I'm bot sure what to do!!

The son isn’t tiny.

Yes, CoL is a problem. But the DH would prefer the son never to see this beloved sport in person, until he can afford it? Although CoL isn’t impacting everyone the same. It’s not a blanket rule that everyone is suffering the same. Of course I see the news. I also know people in RL and can see that plenty of people still have spare money to spend on experiences.

I don’t believe they can’t get tickets for years if it’s so important to him, he doesn’t even want someone talking about another team.

Could include and over night stay. Again, if it was so important, he would make it happen.

The dh has never thought about a midweek game? Ever? One late night doesn’t ruin a child. Never has a Saturday off? Couldn’t possibly book a Saturday off for an event that’s so important?

Besides which, Op doesnt say it’s the first game so the ‘oh the first game is so important’ doesn’t even or apply.

At this point it’s just a match.

As a football fan I think your dad IBU especially if both teams are rivals.

Cathedral chorister is the way out, then, took up many of those slots! Plus dance easily expands to be an all-day thing on Saturdays.😀

Your dh is easy to wind up over this because he’s silly and your dad knows it and plays up to it.

It’s up to your kids what team they support if any.

I echo the sentiments of many posters - both mean are being childish, willy-waving wankers who should know better than to behave so poorly. What ridiculous examples they are setting, and over football, FGS! I have to put up with this shit at work from various team supporters. It astonishes me.

Nincompoops, all of them (not your son, OP).

Both men, not mean.

Your husband is pathetic

My dad and partner don't support the same.. but they both want them to support the team they do, they both talk/celebrate each team with him, they both have a kit for him no problem and both have agreed it that my son can choose whichever team he wants to support when he's older, which might not even be any of the teams they support. It's literally your sons choice when he's old enough, not your husbands

They’re both being petty.

But, actually, given it’s your husband’s son… your dad should really step back and stop pushing this stuff.

It might seem trivial to lots of MNers, but it matters to your husband. Football clubs can be a big part of some men’s identity. They want to share that with their sons. Unless an interest in another club is coming from the child, rather than promoted by his grandfather, then his dad should be able to share his team with him.

If this were a thread about MIL trying to force her preferences on your child, people would very much be insisting she needs to stay in her lane.

Tell them both that either all football talk is off the table- which would be a shame for your son- or they need to behave like adults and accept the other's interest.

Is DH upset he can't take his some to his games, but DF can? If not, then he's totally unreasonable and just needs to be glad he can go to both sets of games!

Doesn’t really matter if you believe it or not, it’s true.

Not my clubs so not my problem… but the wait lists for Liverpool is 11 years. Arsenal is 10, Aston Villa, Everton, Leeds are all three…

And yes, you have to pay to be on the waitlist.

most MNers think this is stupid…

But your father is deliberately baiting your husband. Your husband has spoken to him and set boundaries about something that matters to him. Your dad is ignoring him.

In fact, he’s actively seeking out opportunities to do exactly what your husband has asked him not to do. That’s pretty shitty behaviour from your dad.

You are not supporting your husband in this. Even if you don’t care about which football club is best, your husband does. And you know he does.

Talk to your husband and agree to support him over what matters to him so you can put a stop to any of the pettiness.

If it was you wanting to have your child to be into something but your MIL was deliberately baiting and trying to get him to be into something else, the responses on here would be mightily different.

This is so sad. What a moron your husband is.

Exactly!!

I’m a football season ticket holder.

Your dad is at fault here. He had his chance to influence his own kid (you).

I agree with the person who wrote about how hard it can be to get tickets.

If the OP had written that her DH wanted to spend £££ of family money taking kids to a football match when they are struggling to pay bills the responses would be v different.

If they were both clashing heads in the same way I would still think they were childish and if OP was forbidding MIL to take DC to enjoy something it would be pathetic. So no no change here

Obviously it would.

I’d have been really pissed off with my dad if I came home and discovered that he’d drawn something on the children’s chalk board purely with the intention of annoying my husband. That is shitty behaviour.

It doesn’t even matter whether I think my husband is right about the thing he cares about. If I know he cares about it, has already spoken to my dad about this, and still my dad is behaving like this… I’d be angry at my dad and tell him to stop treating my husband badly.

Your dad is being a wind up unecessarily and pp is right, this would be totally different if it was a MIL situation.

DP and his brothers lost their dad a few years ago and a lot of their memories they share are about going to football with him when they were younger. It’s not unimportant.

Your Dad is behaving like a prick.

he’s deliberately goading your DH.

tell him to grow up

I agree both men are behaving like idiots BUT I do have some sympathy with the husband because it reminds me of my ILs and food. They know I want to give my kids a healthy diet and at every opportunity they try to undermine me by giving sweets, ice creams etc, even when they were babies.

I do feel this is a control issue for them, ie they have different ideas about how kids should be raised and they are constantly trying to force these on to me.

So I wonder if the same thing is happening here - your Dad is challenging your husband's authority by trying to make your son like a different team. I can see why that would wind up your DH as your DF is disrespecting him.

They are both being childish.
However, your dad needs to step back until your child is old enough to understand how football rivalry works in families.

He needs to let your husband and son bond over football ( if that's what your son wants) and then your dad can tease them both and your son will have that jokey relationship with your dad.

My DH and his Dad support different teams, teams which a huge rivals. My FiL never tried to get DS to support his team. Now DS is older and understands the rivalry they tease each other about it.

Football is taken massively seriously in this house (not by me) spectating, playing, training, coaching and refereeing but I'd cringe if anyone in my family behaved like OP's DH and DF and I would have a lot to say about it

You're right.
The fact it's football is affecting some responses too. MN is notorious for not liking football or football supporters.

@Nowheretogo1985 I think it's about more than football-

your DH feels disrespected by your DF.
And your DF is def trying to wind him up.

Am I the only one who wants to know what the teams are?

This. Both husband and father are at fault