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Original poster

Football causing issues between dad and Husband

177 replies

Nowheretogo1985 · 12/03/2023 07:34

Hello!
Anyone got any advice please? It sounds ridiculous but football is causing a problem between my dad and Husband.
Both are passionate about the teams they support (both different) but my husband doesn't want my dad talking to my son about the team he supports as he feels like my dad is trying to coax him away from my husband's team. If that makes sense!
My dad wants to take my son to a match but husband won't allow him.
My husband came home from work last week and my dad (who was looking after my children) had drawn the emblem of his football team on the children's chalkboard. Words have been exchanged via text between both men (my husband asked him not to do such things) and now I feel like it's awkward. I can see them really falling out over it.
I'm just not sure what to do 😭
Sorry if it's sounds trivial but I'm bot sure what to do!!

OP posts:
GoldilocksIsALittleSod · 12/03/2023 07:57

What a pathetic pair they both are. This is exactly why I did not marry a man with any interest in bloody football!
It's a game, people have made it into a lucrative industry but it's still just a game......maybe until your father and husband grow up they should stick to scrabble or monopoly!!!

WasIWasINot · 12/03/2023 07:58

Tell your husband to grow the fuck up.

and tell him your ds will be going to the game with his grandad.

have to say I’d be tempted to talk up the opposition myself because your husband is so pathetic.

WimpoleHat · 12/03/2023 08:05

my husband doesn't want my dad talking to my son about the team he supports as he feels like my dad is trying to coax him away from my husband's team

Dear God. Your husband sounds like a 9 year old boy. He’s being utterly ridiculous.

Try it on him in reverse. “No, DH. We can’t take DS to see your mum. He might like her roast chicken more than mine.” Hopefully he’ll see how ludicrous it is.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Football
Forestfire12345 · 12/03/2023 08:06

Your Dad needs to stop! Coming from a place where football rivalry can be intense , then I see your Dad's behaviour as provocative. He's absolutely pushing it. I'd tell him to quit it. Your son has a team with his Dad.

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:08

Forestfire12345 · 12/03/2023 08:06

Your Dad needs to stop! Coming from a place where football rivalry can be intense , then I see your Dad's behaviour as provocative. He's absolutely pushing it. I'd tell him to quit it. Your son has a team with his Dad.

How does the son Have a team with his dad?

It’s not something you automatically must inherit from your father.

What if the child wants to talk football with his grandad? It’s banned subject because it upsets a grown man?

Bestarchitectever · 12/03/2023 08:09

This is hilarious!!! I say that as a football fan who supports Tottenham and has to endure a best friend who supports Liverpool and a Husband who supports Man United. I get ridiculed daily.

I love it, the rivalry is supposed to be FUN!

Anyone who takes it seriously is pathetic.

Nimbostratus100 · 12/03/2023 08:09

Your husband needs to grow up, he is being a baby

Many people have one team they support, and other teams they take an interest in.

Justalittlebitduckling · 12/03/2023 08:09

Wow, some man children need to grow up here.

HouseofGods · 12/03/2023 08:16

I'm more with DH here. Where we are you just wouldn't take the child to see the other team play. DH takes the DC (DGF also goes) and it's something that they share.

We have friends in a similar position and DC is a massive fan of Dad's team but he's been to national team games with DGF who loved that as it's the only time they want the same team to win 😅 could be an option?

jellycakeandicecream · 12/03/2023 08:16

Whilst DH isn’t coming across well, You’re Dad is being deliberately provocative. Poking the bear springs to mind.

The chalkboard and general banter are fine BUT Rightly or wrongly, taking your son to his first game is a big deal (I know someone will be along shortly to tell me it’s not, but for millions of football fans it is) and to have that taken away from DH against his wishes is a step waaaaaay too far. If you are into day, ballet, how would you feel if your in-laws took him to his first ballet performance without you, against your wishes, but you wanted to take him instead?

The sports team people support in many cases - across all sports, it just so happens football is the biggest in the country, people will have the same arguments about baseball in America, hockey in Canada, and even rugby league here in UK in places like Hull and Wigan/St Helen’s - is a huge part of their identity.

Justmeandthedog1 · 12/03/2023 08:19

Tell both men to grow up. They’re behaving like kids arguing in the playground. Tell them any talk of football, any drawing, singing football songs, etc you’ll stop their pocket money and they’ll both sit on the naughty step and think about their behaviour.

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:20

jellycakeandicecream · 12/03/2023 08:16

Whilst DH isn’t coming across well, You’re Dad is being deliberately provocative. Poking the bear springs to mind.

The chalkboard and general banter are fine BUT Rightly or wrongly, taking your son to his first game is a big deal (I know someone will be along shortly to tell me it’s not, but for millions of football fans it is) and to have that taken away from DH against his wishes is a step waaaaaay too far. If you are into day, ballet, how would you feel if your in-laws took him to his first ballet performance without you, against your wishes, but you wanted to take him instead?

The sports team people support in many cases - across all sports, it just so happens football is the biggest in the country, people will have the same arguments about baseball in America, hockey in Canada, and even rugby league here in UK in places like Hull and Wigan/St Helen’s - is a huge part of their identity.

Op doesn’t say it’s the sons first game.

And if the first game is so important and football is so important, why hasn’t the child father taken them yet?

LittleBrenda · 12/03/2023 08:25

And if the first game is so important and football is so important, why hasn’t the child father taken them yet?

There are loads of teams where it's really hard to get tickets to a match.

ittakes2 · 12/03/2023 08:26

As previous poster your dad is being a dick drawing his clubs emblem in your house knowing how your husband feels about football - he's inciting him and its very disrespectful and childish.

Mothership4two · 12/03/2023 08:27

How childish of them both and pathetic of your DH to forbid his FIL to take his GC to a game. Your poor DS having those two for male role models. I hope he gets into curling, cricket or gymnastics instead. My advice would be to tell them to grow up OP!

frozendaisy · 12/03/2023 08:27

This does sound extreme, but we have a dad who is a supporter and he said "the first football match the kids go to is X team" after that they can do what they like.

Which was fair enough.

It took a while because they are a top premiere league team so took a couple of seasons to get the required 4 tickets together.

So I get it. But we had no rival grandad getting involved.

You know they are your husband's kids your dad had his turn with his kids. I would say this to your dad.

But they both need to grow up and not wind each other up.

Your kids might end up just being at best fair weather fans. After all our passion and planning one of ours couldn't care less about league football, even though he does have "the team x" as a favourite I guess if asked, the other loves football but isn't a knob about it.

Explain to husband making your kids rabid supporters might also not be the best idea. It can get aggressively tribal and stunt sportsmanship development, actually just generally stunt all sorts of development.

So yeah, see your husband's point but everyone needs to tone it done a bit don't you think?

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:29

LittleBrenda · 12/03/2023 08:25

And if the first game is so important and football is so important, why hasn’t the child father taken them yet?

There are loads of teams where it's really hard to get tickets to a match.

For years?

Football is so important to him, the child supporting the same team is so important. But he hasn’t taken the child to a match. Not been able to get a ticket at all. For years?

and as I said, op didn’t say it was the child’s first game. It probably isn’t. which was the point in post I quoted.

Rosula · 12/03/2023 08:30

Tell them both to grow up and sign your son up to dancing lessons on Saturdays so he can't go to footy.

jellycakeandicecream · 12/03/2023 08:31

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:20

Op doesn’t say it’s the sons first game.

And if the first game is so important and football is so important, why hasn’t the child father taken them yet?

Show quote history

Several reasons.

  1. Maybe the son is too young to go to a match and her Dad is going to take him too early to be ‘first’
  2. Not sure if you’ve seen the news, but there is a cost of living crisis, maybe they can’t afford it
  3. Maybe they can’t get tickets
  4. Maybe they live a long away from the club so it’s not just an afternoon out but could involve an overnight stay
  5. Maybe DH works on Saturdays when the games typically are and doesn’t think taking DS to a game midweek which finishes late is a good idea with school the next day.
VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 12/03/2023 08:31

Fucking twats. Tribalism warfare at its best. Did your dad know the reaction or did he think it was funny banter

frozendaisy · 12/03/2023 08:32

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:20

Op doesn’t say it’s the sons first game.

And if the first game is so important and football is so important, why hasn’t the child father taken them yet?

Show quote history

Tickets can be hard to get together
A football stand is not the place for toddlers they need to be a bit bigger

And your first live football match, if your mum or dad or both are passionate is a big deal.

So the grandad stepping in saying he will take to a rival? different team is provocative. Childish to some yes, but it's something their dad has said he wants to do. Dad trumps grandad in this.

PhotoDad · 12/03/2023 08:33

Rosula · 12/03/2023 08:30

Tell them both to grow up and sign your son up to dancing lessons on Saturdays so he can't go to footy.

Hah! My DS did Saturday dance classes for 10 years and I had never even considered how that saved him from any pressure about football. But we're not into team-sports in our household, probably because my parents and in-laws weren't either.

skippy67 · 12/03/2023 08:35

Donnashair · 12/03/2023 08:29

For years?

Football is so important to him, the child supporting the same team is so important. But he hasn’t taken the child to a match. Not been able to get a ticket at all. For years?

and as I said, op didn’t say it was the child’s first game. It probably isn’t. which was the point in post I quoted.

Show quote history

Yes, for years. I have a paid membership to the team I support. I've not been able to get a ticket to an actual game for years.

LittleBrenda · 12/03/2023 08:35

For years?

Well, yes. If you don't have a season ticket.

Not that we know he's been trying for tears as we don't know how old the ds is. Maybe he's just become a good age for going to a match.

frozendaisy · 12/03/2023 08:35

Rosula · 12/03/2023 08:30

Tell them both to grow up and sign your son up to dancing lessons on Saturdays so he can't go to footy.

Football is played on Sundays as well.
And mid-week.
And Saturday afternoons and evening.

One dance class a week won't save you!