DD Fucked Up - what will happen

[TheCakeDiet]

DD (17) called me last night sobbing. She has fucked up and all of her own making, but what I am trying to determine is what the consequences will be.

She went to her Boyfriend's house yesterday evening. It was quite late (as she had a day off school today) so they decided to sit in his mum's car to chat rather than risk waking her up.

DD sat in drivers seat for no particular reason. They put the engine on as it was cold and DD - for reasons that she can't really explain - moved the car forward about five feet. She has a provisional license only and her boyfriend the same. Meaning not qualified OR insured to be doing that. The only reason she can give is that she has only ever driven her lesson car and wanted to 'see how it felt'.

She knocked the car in front. Small scratch.

In the meantime, a 'concerned neighbour' noticed a boy in a black hoodie (boyfriend) getting into a car that she knows belongs to blond woman) his mum - and decided to report a possible 'live' car theft. Police arrived just as they were standing oven mouthed with horror and having dinked the car.

DD owned up straight away and gave her details and boyfriend's mum was woken and said she didn't want to pursue/press any charges (thank you thank you).

Police had initially searched DD and her BF thinking they were stealing the car but BF showed them the key and pointed to his house. Because they were searched (I believe?) the police had to bring dd home. They told me they wouldn't be pressing any charges and she has no record, but they do need to notify DVLA that she moved the car five feet. They have said they don't know exactly what will happen but she may get up to 6 points on her provisional license and a ban that will come into effect once she has passed her test.

We will also be contacted by Social Services.

I am livid. DD is hugely remorseful but tough shit.

I haven't even told DH yet as he will hit the roof and I didn't sleep all night and can't face it the ranting that will ensue.

I have told DD she must pay for any damage and write a letter of apology. I have also told her she will obviously now NOT get a car in the near future and we would have to wait and see what action DVLA take.

What I really want to know is what the DVLA consequences are likely to be. Police were vague - lots of 'might be this, might be that'... but also quite enjoying the fear they were putting into her - lot's of "you're lucky you aren't in a cell" etc. I have no problem with them giving her a scare, but it means it was hard to know what was the likely scenario so we don't know what to expect.

Anyone had anything similar?

Thank you

That you KNOW of

Yes this happened with my mum decades ago. My brother “borrowed” my mum’s car when he was 16. Obviously she didn’t know about it. She had to say the car had been stolen or she would’ve been charged with allowing a minor to drive. He lost his license even before he’d passed his test.

Yes, perhaps they were returning in the car trying to park it. Ot seems so pointless to move it a few feet.

I wholeheartedly agree with this, I really feel for her. Lots of young people do far worse things! Nobody was hurt fgs. She’s had a huge fright and must feel so guilty after all that.

I’m concerned for her actually, if your dh is liable to disproportionate raging. Not rtft yet so maybe this will be discussed

I feel sorry for your daughter, it was an accident and a momentary lack of judgement….anyone would think she’s not a human or something, unless everyone here has managed decades without so much as a mistake?
Nothing will come of it, the police said they are not pressing charges so that is that. You’re allowed to drive a vehicle uninsured and without a license on private property.

No worries mrsftobex and welcome to the site

I suspect that the police have deliberately given her a scare and intended for her to escape any serious consequences. Why social services were mentioned is baffling unless your DD simply hasn't recalled everything correctly.

As long as the damage is repaired and lessons learned, I think the police have acted in a pragmatic and proportionate manner and hopefully she learns from it and is grateful that everyone involved have been so reasonable.

What a shame that she dd it, but Id say if she is remorseful and has learnt from it then... it could have been a lot worse

Is she a good teen generally?

@Surplus2requirements yes that I know of. I don't know why you feel the need to shout.

None of them were ever caught by the police having crashed into someone else's car on a public road whilst uninsured and unsupervised. And without a driving licence.

I am astounded at the minimising going on on this thread.

Oh that's right. It must be a man's fault. 🙄

FFS.

Agree with @Delphigirl there’s information on the government website relating to this.

That's rough. And unfortunately your dd is in for a big natural consequence. With points on her license insurance will be horrendous. What she did was poor judgment and actually could have been worse had anyone got hurt. But it wasn't deliberate or malicious. I'd probably not go that hard on her as she will be paying the price for a while as it is.

The police may not even tell DVSA or it may all get lost in translation so to speak. How can DVSA act if your daughter has not been charged with anything? It doesn’t make sense? The waiting will be a killer but just let her carry in with lessons and see what happens keep checking her license on the Gov website for points and she must inform her driving instructor as they will have to check the Gov website for points before every lesson or they may ask your daughter to do that and screenshot it.

@Honeyroar that's what I thought too

Teens are dipshits a lot of the time. Same as toddlers.

I agree you should find out if the police are charging her with anything and she needs to apologise to BF's mum and the owner of the other car. At 17 she's old enough to tell her dad herself. Difficult as it might be, he'll probably appreciate that more than you telling him on her behalf.

wanting to see what the car would feel like

You mean that particular car? She has lessons and knows what driving a moving car feels like so this was a moment of daftness. It's a balance between your DD realising the consequences of her actions and not treating it like the end of the world.

What's your point? That you're a much, much better parent than the OP?

I mean, how in any way is this helpful?

Writing a letter of apology without legal advice is a very bad idea.

Is she really telling the truth? I wonder if they were planning on going for a drive but didn't get the chance when she pranged the car and the police turned up.

I agree with the posters who've said it's not exactly a joy ride, not much more than starting it in gear then it stalling... so whilst of course it's possible she'll get punished with points/fine etc I'd be surprised if the DVLA do anything at all as long as the owner of the car that has been hit is ok with paying for any damage privately. Police often lay on the scare tactics with teenagers. I don't think a ban is likely not least as the police haven't taken it any further. If what she'd done was that bad they'd have charged her with driving without due care etc or something. Chin up OP and OPs DD x I got knocked down by a speeding car and was severely injured and the person who did it only got a 6 month ban/300 quid fine so I struggle to think they'll come down even remotely as hard on her.

Never mind all the what ifs, buts, my children etc

Was she issued a FPN?

That’s just a reach for extra drama though. If there were people about she is very unlikely to have done the same thing as she did late at night with nobody around.

Op. If there is damage to the other car they are better to put it through the insurance.

I've got circa £600 of damage to mine because someone in an automatic took their foot of the break at a set of lights.

Not point in stressing over her future ability to drive or insurance.
I knew someone who was finded and had points for not having insurance - insurance company weren't bothered by it because he now has insurance. It's not really an additional risk to them.

I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh but I am. Myself and best friend did something almost identical 25 years ago. Got points on provisional license and a small fine I think, can't remember. No other repercussions back then although I think I may have had higher insurance. Mainly classmates thought it was cool, yes we were idiots.