DD Fucked Up - what will happen

[TheCakeDiet]

DD (17) called me last night sobbing. She has fucked up and all of her own making, but what I am trying to determine is what the consequences will be.

She went to her Boyfriend's house yesterday evening. It was quite late (as she had a day off school today) so they decided to sit in his mum's car to chat rather than risk waking her up.

DD sat in drivers seat for no particular reason. They put the engine on as it was cold and DD - for reasons that she can't really explain - moved the car forward about five feet. She has a provisional license only and her boyfriend the same. Meaning not qualified OR insured to be doing that. The only reason she can give is that she has only ever driven her lesson car and wanted to 'see how it felt'.

She knocked the car in front. Small scratch.

In the meantime, a 'concerned neighbour' noticed a boy in a black hoodie (boyfriend) getting into a car that she knows belongs to blond woman) his mum - and decided to report a possible 'live' car theft. Police arrived just as they were standing oven mouthed with horror and having dinked the car.

DD owned up straight away and gave her details and boyfriend's mum was woken and said she didn't want to pursue/press any charges (thank you thank you).

Police had initially searched DD and her BF thinking they were stealing the car but BF showed them the key and pointed to his house. Because they were searched (I believe?) the police had to bring dd home. They told me they wouldn't be pressing any charges and she has no record, but they do need to notify DVLA that she moved the car five feet. They have said they don't know exactly what will happen but she may get up to 6 points on her provisional license and a ban that will come into effect once she has passed her test.

We will also be contacted by Social Services.

I am livid. DD is hugely remorseful but tough shit.

I haven't even told DH yet as he will hit the roof and I didn't sleep all night and can't face it the ranting that will ensue.

I have told DD she must pay for any damage and write a letter of apology. I have also told her she will obviously now NOT get a car in the near future and we would have to wait and see what action DVLA take.

What I really want to know is what the DVLA consequences are likely to be. Police were vague - lots of 'might be this, might be that'... but also quite enjoying the fear they were putting into her - lot's of "you're lucky you aren't in a cell" etc. I have no problem with them giving her a scare, but it means it was hard to know what was the likely scenario so we don't know what to expect.

Anyone had anything similar?

Thank you

@ZeldaB I don't feel a bit sorry for her. She knew she didn't have a full driving licence and she made the decision to drive a car on the public road. She did. Not the BF.

If you know the officer who dealt with it, talk to them specifically. Talking to anyone at the police station might just complicate things, in case another officers opinion is different. It sounds like the attending officer was using professional judgement that it doesn't warrant taking further at this stage and the talking to has worked. If you poke at it though, someone might change their mind. I'd speak to the officer who dropped her off that night just to clarify their advice or just wait a couple of weeks and see if anything comes in the post.

That would be DD.

She hasn't denied wanting to see what the car would feel like. She disengaged the handbrake and drove the car forward about 5 feet but misjudged how soon to break and knocked the car in front.

She is not denying this.

Police charge, court awards points as deemed appropriate and then DVLA are notified to update licence with relevant points/ban etc
Nowt can happen without the police charge bit as others have said. Even if the owners of either car make a complaint to police of twoc, damage etc they may deem it not in the public interest and not charge

It is silly but not a biggie. If the police are not investigating burglaries, I guess this leaves them more time to press charges for minor infractions like this.

Do deal with the consequences but it is worth seeing how this plays out. Hopefully the police will forget to tell the DVLA.

By the way do tell your DD, her boyfriend and everyone else you meet as no one seems aware of this…

It is a criminal offence to sit in a car with the engine running unless you’re in a traffic jam. I’m so fed up of people pumping out exhaust ‘to keep warm.’ The police should have given them a £20 fixed penalty notice for idling.

This so completely ranting rraving and being livid won't help anywhere.

Speak calmly with your dd. She messed up yes but she also took responsibility and didn't try to push it on onto others.

Now help her deal with the mess she created and let her know whilst you are disappointed you have her back and she can always always turn to you.

It is a criminal offence to do the is without a reasonable excuse. It's not a strict liability offence.

This doesn't make any sense. The police charge, dvla administer points.

It may be that the police aren't making any charge related to the damage but are charging with driving without licence or insurance, your daughter would have been given paperwork (FPN) and the police tell dvla.

IF she hasn't been charged with anything there is no paperwork and nothing to tell dvla.

If she wasn't given paperwork they were just scaring her.

This all sounds hugely dramatic. Are you sure the police were the only ones enjoying frightening your DD!?

Oh your poor daughter.

OP, if your daughter has MH vulnerability, her father being prone to weeks of rages and ranting is likely connected.

Your poor daughter.

Yes she fxxked up.

I feel very sorry for her and you.

Sounds like a really scary house to be living in.

It was a long time ago now. He did get a 6m ban i believe? But he was actually out driving and got caught!
Thankfully he learned by that

@mrsftobex you need to start your own thread in an appropriate place rather than posting on a thread about a car incident 🙄

I've only read your OP but omg, she didn't do anything that terrible, poor girl that everyone is so furious with her. Teenagers do far, far worse things every day.

This. There's SOOOOO much drama here and it sounds like you're really worried your DH will just add to the drama. Your DD made a silly mistake that luckily, didn't cause any real harm. She admitted it and has 100% stood up to take responsibility. Frankly, I think all the scare mongering and handwringing is completely unnecessary.

Tel your Dh to stay calm and both of you now have to support her as she navigates whatever consequences come along.

I F+++ed up royally at 19 by crashing into another car. It was 100% my fault. My car was a write off and I caused expensive damage to the expensive car I crashed into. My parents were, understandably, furious with me. But the thing I remember the most from that entire time period is not the yelling and the crying and the negotiations regarding cost. What I remember is that after we'd gone through the insurance process etc, the driver of the other car started calling and harassing me. On one very memorable occasion, realising what was happening, my Dad took the phone from me and said very very firmly, "She fucked up but our insurance has agreed to pay out all costs so stop harassing an 19 year old girl. If you call here again I'll call the police" and put the phone down. He had my back. You need to have your DD's.

She did something very stupid and now has to live with the consequences.

One of those consequences is not knowing what all the consequences are. Which is a learning in itself.

Her lack of impulse control would make me wonder if she is mature enough to be driving yet.

When she passes her test she will be instantly banned. That’s a pretty big fuck up!

A "small scratch " can be 1k damage ,
Recent rear end "snall scratch" damaged internal structure not visible til they removed bumper)

how will she pay?

But yeh she did. Dumb thing. But cannot go back now. No point screaming at her.

I wouldn't help her freak the mess she created. She broke the law. She has to deal with it.

Sounds like the police asked if the BF mum wanted to pursue 'taking without consent' technically it's up to the police but they'd need her cooperation.
The other car owner can go through her insurance which would mean when your daughter comes to get insurance she'd have to declare the accident (and possibly that she was driving without insurance or a licence). Might be she needs to wait 5 years before getting insurance to avoid that. She'd be much better off if they sorted it with you directly and not via their insurance but that's completely their decision.
Not sure what people think the other car owner could ask they be prosecuted for because they didn't fail to report it or leave.
The police will be the ones deciding on points not the DVLA. They could give her a fixed penalty notice. Which would mean she would have 6 points. Normally that would invalidate her licence getting 6points so soon but I think there's a loophole (or there was when I last did traffic law) that points pre dating the driving test didn't actually go towards the 6points new driver rule. Double check that. Her insurance would be very very high though.

If she hasn't hit the car in front, would the next step have been going for a little drive to see how it felt?

She's been silly and will have to face the consequences. Your DH ranting is not going to help matters though, he's an adult and ought to learn to control himself.

Do people on this thread not remember being 17?! Bloody hell. Mistakes have been made but wondering if she's "mature" enough to be driving and accusing her of "making the decision to drive the car on a public road".

Have people never made silly mistakes that, if they'd been caught, could have had serious consequences? In most cases, we miraculously get away with these mistakes but treating this poor young woman like she's akin to a child murderer (someone did suggest she could have "dinged a child") seems way OTT.

This is what I was thinking?

Did the police read them their rights? If so they they have up to 6 months to prosecute/issue a fixed penalty notice. So the officers might have to discuss the circumstances with a more senior officer and they make a decision on whether to charge or not.

Standard IN10 fixed penalty is £300 and six points. Points will stay on her licence for 3/4 years, and if she get's any more points within that time after passing her test, licence will be revoked.

Insurance will be astronomical for a new driver with 6 points already.