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I think my husband has blocked me?!

506 replies

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

OP posts:
Goodfood1 · 04/03/2023 09:29

You deserve a life too.
He is selfish and cruel.
Good luck taking back control

Lorry10 · 04/03/2023 09:35

How old are your children OP? Can you organise your weekend to see friends and go out and enjoy yourself to take your mind off this. And importantly, to be out when he gets back (oh and take ages to answer when he phones/messages looking for you)

glasshole · 04/03/2023 09:35

Just send him a text message saying you are starting divorce proceedings on Monday. Suns very like it is already over, and the scuba just chose not to tell you. But he shady has another house, a separate life, so it should be much easier than most.

Raindancer411 · 04/03/2023 09:36

All I can say is at least they have a mum they can depend on to be there when they need someone. Cannot say the same for the Dad, and I take it they are at an age to start making their own minds up on what they think...

PaigeMatthews · 04/03/2023 09:40

You know he has another woman. What is the point of him.

what‘s your job / career? How do you generally manage during the week? And much parenting did he do last time he left?

Workinghardeveryday · 04/03/2023 09:42

You deserve so much better than the crumbs he throws you my lovely and so do the kids.

Find the strength to kick him out, take back the control. Don’t allow him to disrespect you and your children in this way!!!

You said in the past you felt like a maid and a nanny, as I see it that’s exactly what you are to him.

Any good parts of the relationship are not worth all of this are they.

Kick him out, start divorce proceedings and think about your future, a one with a nice guy who doesn’t treat you like the hired help x

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 09:47

Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 04/03/2023 09:02

How do you know he definitely lives alone? The only contact you have all week is via messages.

You’re either in denial or sorry to say a door mat, he absolutely with out a doubt has another life when he works away.

I have worked in jobs that involved working away. Most of the people I worked with were either shagging a colleague, or had a relationship with someone whilst they were working away. One of my colleagues was shagging two men from the same team…

His behaviour absolutely shows he doesn’t give a shit about you and your kids, and is in another relationship. He’s a coward and can’t admit it, and wants you to do the dumping.

What exactly do you think you’re achieving with this post?

I’ve said he might well be having an affair. I’ve been with him 20 years and can confidently say that there is no way he has another family, a woman living with him or is at risk of harming himself. If you don’t want to believe these facts then don’t, I can’t be arsed to explain how I know these things to be true. Calling me names and trying to insist the situation is worse than it already is is nothing other than cruel.

OP posts:
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 09:50

I’m not working at the moment as I quit my job in October after a major operation and I’m still learning to adjust to my new body. There is no mortgage on the house and I have enough savings to be able to survive for a year or so. I don’t think he’ll cut us off financially though. He’s got his flat in London, he can stay there.

OP posts:
ladykale · 04/03/2023 10:04

thegirlyupnorth · 03/03/2023 23:36

He's got another woman or family by the sounds of it!

This!!!

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 10:11

ladykale · 04/03/2023 10:04

This!!!

Ffs.

Thanks for all the genuine advice. Leaving this thread now as don’t need another 100 replies asking me if I’d considered if he might have another family.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/03/2023 10:11

@MyBloodyBrother sorry this is happening. It sounds like a shit way to live, and as if the issues you had when you split are very much still there. What do you want going forward if he is unwilling to change? Sounds like you've thought about the impact of leaving him. How do you feel about that? Is this a possible?

dworky · 04/03/2023 10:11

Greensleevevssnotnose · 03/03/2023 21:08

Why are you hounding him. I last messaged my partner 18 months ago before yesterday

There is no evidence OP is hounding him.

tempusername1234 · 04/03/2023 10:14

@MyBloodyBrother

Well done how you've handled this and how you've handled some of the posts here. People really do seem to get off imagining the worst possible scenario.

I hope you get this sorted for the best for you and your family. You seem pretty switched on, so I'm sure you'll sort this.

Again, really sorry to have read about this. It made me feel awful doing so.

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 04/03/2023 10:15

Hi OP I’m really sorry he’s being like this. Don’t assume it’s an affair. He may just be avoiding you for many reasons. Totally unacceptable to do that to you and the kids though. Think you need to have a serious talk with him about your relationship. Saying this from personal experience - I was the one who “ removed myself”. He needs to address any issues he has and face up to the fact - or you as a couple may need ( ie counselling)

LakieLady · 04/03/2023 10:16

Speaker82 · 04/03/2023 08:45

I worked on a project with a man who lived in Bradford and worked in Glasgow. He worked Monday - Thursday.

He completely 'forgot' to tell me he was married with children for several months until he slipped up. No wedding ring.

I just saw him as a friend but he would call me for at least an hour every day after work, messaged a lot, asked me out for dinner and day trips (I never went) and I rarely heard from him at weekends.

Before I left the job I noticed he had two phones on his desk.

Don't trust men working away. A lot of them lead double lives.

Someone who worked at the same council at me did that. It was in the days before mobiles, so a lot easier.

He applied for a job in the LA where his bit on the side worked and got it. His wife was delighted he'd got a significant promotion and sort of enabled it by saying she didn't want to move, or the kids to change schools as they were just starting GCSEs/A-levels. He lived with his mistress Mon-Fri and his wife at weekends. He'd sometimes spend all weekend with the bit on the side, citing weekend conferences etc. It went on for 2 years.

I never knew how his wife found out, but she rocked up at his office one day to "surprise him". The teenage kids were old enough to leave by then, and she found digs for him and stayed there with him during the week. She actually used to come to work with him and just sort of hang around, drove him to meetings and so on.

Three months later, he took early retirement and was never heard of again. Neither was his mistress, who went on sick leave and never came back.

We were all gobsmacked, he seemed like such a nice, genuine bloke, a sort of absent-minded professor type, and very highly regarded professionally. His wife confided in his secretary, who was the biggest gossip in the county, so the whole sordid story became common knowledge.

Men can be such duplicitous and cowardly bastards.

Mellymoon · 04/03/2023 10:20

passtheolives · 03/03/2023 21:11

That’s not normal either 😂

Right!😂😂

LakieLady · 04/03/2023 10:24

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 09:50

I’m not working at the moment as I quit my job in October after a major operation and I’m still learning to adjust to my new body. There is no mortgage on the house and I have enough savings to be able to survive for a year or so. I don’t think he’ll cut us off financially though. He’s got his flat in London, he can stay there.

Bloody hell, he really is a shit, to behave like this when you're recovering from something major.

You sound very strong and determined, OP, and I'm sure you'll manage fine without him.

NextPrimeMinister · 04/03/2023 10:26

@MyBloodyBrother I saw your earlier thread and can understand as the situation has developed how frustrating it is.

The ball is in your court now. I'd use this weekend, while he's away to collect evidence of all bank accounts, savings, investments and pensions etc. Find yours and kids passports. I'm sure there's a list on here somewhere on how to get your ducks in a row.

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/03/2023 10:43

It actually doesn't matter why he is doing what he's doing. Short of a serious mental health episode the behaviour alone is LTB worthy.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 04/03/2023 10:54

I’m sorry OP that some of the other posters on this thread have upset you but saying your DH may have another family.

If I were to hear that I’d feel betrayed, angry and hurt too, whether it’s true or not.

I’ve worked with divorce/family lawyers and although the process is hard and emotional, you won’t believe the relief you feel when you extricate yourself from this man.

Be kind to yourself and your family in the meantime. Is there a friend or family member you can speak to this weekend?

Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 04/03/2023 11:02

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 09:47

What exactly do you think you’re achieving with this post?

I’ve said he might well be having an affair. I’ve been with him 20 years and can confidently say that there is no way he has another family, a woman living with him or is at risk of harming himself. If you don’t want to believe these facts then don’t, I can’t be arsed to explain how I know these things to be true. Calling me names and trying to insist the situation is worse than it already is is nothing other than cruel.

I’ve not called you any names, I said you’re in denial or a door mat. That’s not calling.

He is the one being cruel by the way he treats you and his family, especially as you are unwell.

I’m guessing he is doing this so you will end it, he’s an arse and you deserve so much better.

JudgeJ · 04/03/2023 11:03

passtheolives · 03/03/2023 21:11

That’s not normal either 😂

Why is it not normal? Not all people find it necessary to constantly stalk their partners.

BlueSeaWave · 04/03/2023 11:04

@MyBloodyBrother sorry he is a shit. You really do deserve more and he doesn’t get to check out if family life 4 days a week. I hope your next decade is wonderful and with someone who wants to spend time with you.

SamSmithsGoldenShower · 04/03/2023 11:05

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 04/03/2023 10:15

Hi OP I’m really sorry he’s being like this. Don’t assume it’s an affair. He may just be avoiding you for many reasons. Totally unacceptable to do that to you and the kids though. Think you need to have a serious talk with him about your relationship. Saying this from personal experience - I was the one who “ removed myself”. He needs to address any issues he has and face up to the fact - or you as a couple may need ( ie counselling)

I'm honestly shocked at the amount of people who'd give behaviour and a situation like this the benefit of the doubt.

What normal person (man or woman) would live away from their family during the week without contact with their spouse and minimal contact with their children, using the excuses given by the OP.

The posters suggesting he's not having an affair are gullible and naive. Situations like this enable people to have affairs so much easier, and I have heard of and known if this to happen with many many people. As others have mentioned it's way more common than most people think / want to believe. People find ways to have affairs when they're working full time and living at home. Living away from home in their own place during the week is enabling an affair even more.

Schnooze · 04/03/2023 11:08

please don’t let him get away with treating you like this. Dump his sorry arse!