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Original poster

I think my husband has blocked me?!

506 replies

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

OP posts:
wonderofu · 05/03/2023 11:21

@MyBloodyBrother how are you feeling today? Have you or the kids heard anything from him?

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 05/03/2023 11:41

I’m ok thanks @wonderofu. Still feeling pretty numb and detached. DC are both out at parties this morning so got an hour or so to try and sort stuff out. I don’t know where I’m supposed to start WRT money stuff. We have entirely separate finances, he pays X amount into my current account every month but no idea what he does with the rest. He can’t access any of my money though. I think all his bank details etc are at his flat in London. I’ve found an old P60 of his from 3 years ago which has his NI number on it though.

I’ll set up an appointment with a solicitor next week and get things moving. When we split last time we didn’t get as far as doing anything legal as it was all too raw at the time and then we got back together anyway. I’m much more motivated to get it moving quickly this time though. Mostly because he will never expect me to actually do it.

OP posts:
AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotOfMen · 05/03/2023 11:45

Glad you’re thinking practically and taking the ‘ bull by the horns’
I think you’re managing this all incredibly well and I admire your resilience.

There’s no point dwelling on what could have been, you have your own life to lead with your children and given the way you have dealt with this I think you’ll do a bloody marvellous job.

Nanny0gg · 05/03/2023 11:59

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:38

It is never 'necessary'. One can get a normal job. It's a choice, not a necessity.

Show quote history

As you don't know all the different fields that this applies to, you have no idea what you're talking about.

But also, what do you suggest we do about the military? If they didn't make that 'choice' we wouldn't have one

XelaM · 05/03/2023 12:08

Posters saying they "wouldn't tolerate husbands working away" are ridiculous. The two colleagues I knew working away 5 days per week were working in London earning extremely high wages and their wives and kids CHOSE to live in the country in big estates with farm animals. The men weren't having affairs or two separate families either. Both men loved their families and provided very well for them.

LikeAStar1994 · 05/03/2023 12:49

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:38

It is never 'necessary'. One can get a normal job. It's a choice, not a necessity.

Show quote history

You're talking as though you can simply pick a job up off a shelf.

The real world is wondering where you are.

What a fucking idiot

LikeAStar1994 · 05/03/2023 12:53

XelaM · 05/03/2023 12:08

Posters saying they "wouldn't tolerate husbands working away" are ridiculous. The two colleagues I knew working away 5 days per week were working in London earning extremely high wages and their wives and kids CHOSE to live in the country in big estates with farm animals. The men weren't having affairs or two separate families either. Both men loved their families and provided very well for them.

I think we've established many years ago that Mumsnet is totally ignorant to the real world and live in fantasy land. I'd rather be struggling than ask advice on here.

tensmum1964 · 05/03/2023 13:18

Don't be angry with yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You gave it another shot because that felt like the right thing to do at the time. His appalling behaviour is the problem and like others have said, you will be better off without him in the long run. You sound like a strong woman so eventually you will do just fine. Xx

WidthofaLine · 05/03/2023 16:58

You need to block him and divorce him as soon is humanly possible.

No more chances.

It really is appauling behaviour.
He's playing a very cruel game with you but I'm guessing his worst fear is losing half his fortune.

billy1966 · 05/03/2023 17:02

OP,

Give some thought to employing a forensic accountant if you feel there is any possibility of assets being hidden from.

Invariably it is money well spent.

Assemble every bit of financial information you can to help your solicitor get started.

Don't waste any energy beating yourself up.

Focus on getting organised.

PeonyRose80 · 05/03/2023 17:27

@MyBloodyBrother how are you doing this evening? Hope you are doing ok. Big hugs to you, you are being so brave amongst all this uncertainty.
Hope you can have an early night, watch a chick flick or fav genre and a good cry.

Ducks in a row and all that jazz, but keep going…. and be angry, totally valid emotion - it will help.

findmeonthesunnyside · 05/03/2023 18:03

OP, last night you were in my thoughts so much so that I shared your situation with my partner. We discussed how horrified we were that an “adult” could behave like such an immature, year 7 brat. He’s put himself on a plinth and places the importance of his wife and children below himself. I was thinking of you today so caught up on the rest of the comments. Even my hubby asked for an update as he was horrified and thinking of you too. I can’t believe your husband is still playing mean girl. I wonder what a judge will think about a father who goes out of his way so that he WON’T be contacted by the other parent. What if there was an emergency re: the children? That, but that he “contacts” the kids via gifts in an attempt to show “attention” or “love”. That’s hugely abusive and controlling, it’s how grooming and coercive control starts. Good on you for providing nonstop presence and not shallow presents. You have lots of people thinking of you, sending big hugs and strength, including two from this household. Xx

HeadacheEarthquake · 05/03/2023 18:37

WandaWonder · 03/03/2023 20:46

Maybe he doesn't want to be in constant contact?

Omg.. read the thread..

Bepis · 06/03/2023 21:13

I have read your thread and been lurking for a couple of days. I just wanted to say that you most definitely are not a mug. You are a caring and wonderful mother who wanted to make the marriage work for your family. I have been there myself, I kept trying again with my ex husband. Take one positive from it though, you can never be told that you didn't try. Now is the time to take a stand for yourself and your children and I promise you, you will feel so much happier for it.

starload · 07/03/2023 17:02

@MyBloodyBrother any update on this? Has he been home yet? How are you & the kids?

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

OP posts:
starload · 07/03/2023 19:57

MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

KnownByAssociation · 07/03/2023 20:01

MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

You're a better person than me... I would have replied🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 07/03/2023 20:09

MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

He's not even got in touch with the kids? Are they ok?

Starlightstarbright1 · 07/03/2023 20:24

MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

Well
i wouldn’t be taking orders from someone who unblocks me to inform me what I need to do

Ivyonthewalls · 07/03/2023 20:29

My partner blocked me on a certain social media platform. Funnily enough, found it was so that I couldn’t see the latest friend on there. Who was the one he was having an affair with?!

Harryisabollock · 07/03/2023 20:31

MyBloodyBrother · 07/03/2023 19:54

He’s not been home. He’s supposed to be coming back on Thursday and I really hope he does as I’ve got a weekend away booked that I’ve been looking forward to for ages and cost me a lot of money. He WhatsApp’d me to remind me to renew DC1s passport so he’s obviously unblocked me. No other comment though and I just replied 👍

I'm gobsmacked that's all he's said! So cold. You're a better woman than me because I'd have been absolutely spitting at the disrespect. Really hope you and DC are ok.

MissMissive · 07/03/2023 20:33

Is your husband from the UK (assuming you live here)?

If not, I’d consider carefully whether you would want to give him access to their passports.

BadNomad · 07/03/2023 20:34

Has he told someone he's coming back on Thursday or are you just hoping/assuming?

BadNomad · 07/03/2023 20:35

MissMissive · 07/03/2023 20:33

Is your husband from the UK (assuming you live here)?

If not, I’d consider carefully whether you would want to give him access to their passports.

That's a good point. Why is he concerned about their passports all of a sudden?