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Original poster

I think my husband has blocked me?!

506 replies

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

OP posts:
GuineaPigPosie · 04/03/2023 23:23

Ahh, sorry I didn't read replies before I replied! Rookie error!

NigellaAwesome · 04/03/2023 23:30

What an absolute shit he is. And gutless to just block you after 20 years together rather than having a grown up conversation about the state of your marriage. And quite sad too that you don't even feel that you can phone his parents.

I'd spend Monday crying to your Mum, then the rest of the day being detective and digging up as much financial information as you can before you hot foot it to a shit hot lawyer. You should not have to be thinking of living off your savings (but glad to hear you have some just in case).

TwinsAndTiramisu · 04/03/2023 23:37

God yes, make sure you get copies of everything financial tomorrow. Then give them to your mum. Kids passports too.

Keep strong and focused.

Expect him to turn into an absolute snake who will fight for every penny. Anything above that is a bonus. Be ahead of him.

friendlycat · 05/03/2023 00:00

He is being unnecessarily cruel to you and your children. It really isn’t fair at all.

You will be fine in the long run. You have to deal with the here and now and will do so to get out the other side to a better place. You sound practical and know what you are going to have to deal with going forward. This is no way to treat a wife and children and you know that.

Good luck, keep strong and start making your own plans. You will come out the other side, you’ve done it before and will be better equipped this time. You and your children deserve so much more than this.

Marriages break up, it’s a sad fact. But this is completely unacceptable behaviour. He doesn’t need to be this cruel but sadly he’s choosing to be so.

poppettypop · 05/03/2023 00:00

Mawbagz · 04/03/2023 12:26

MN is just becoming such a nasty place. I’ve defected to a new forum called femvox which was set up by an MNer. It’s only just started so pretty quiet still but the vibe is so much nicer.

OP: many of these response aren’t helpful, I’d never look for support on MN now thanks to the toxic culture, sex chat nonsense and constant dildo adverts. I hope you sort things out and get support elsewhere. You won’t get it here sadly.

Can I ask if any of the people on this new site are 'handbggers' or 'turtles'.

If so I would love to join.

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/03/2023 00:40

Whatever he is doing ..... he is a maggot, you are not.

He has abdicated all responsibility, and assumed that you will take on everything that needs to be done for the the kids.

For that reason alone, we can safely wish him a massive case of anal boils.

I fell for "I wont do it again, I promise" and felt stupid when he did, until I realised that I was fighting for my family which is nothing to be ashamed of. He was begging for another go at an easy life, which is pathetic.

We win, they lose xxxx

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 06:37

OP, he is clearly living two different lives but you know that now anyway.

I'll never understand why so many women on here are with a man that 'works away'. It seems to be an epidemic on here. I would never tolerate that situation in the first place. He gets a normal job where he lives or I wouldn't be with him at all. That's how it should be.

Ambersonlove · 05/03/2023 06:56

This reply has been deleted

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Alondra · 05/03/2023 06:56

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 06:37

OP, he is clearly living two different lives but you know that now anyway.

I'll never understand why so many women on here are with a man that 'works away'. It seems to be an epidemic on here. I would never tolerate that situation in the first place. He gets a normal job where he lives or I wouldn't be with him at all. That's how it should be.

Many jobs these days have employees working away 4 days and staying home 3 days, or the opposite.

I live in Australia where there is a huge job market for "fly in, fly out" work in the mining, gas and oil industry. Employers prefer to fly in their employees instead than relocating whole families to a 9-5 job basically because employees, and their families are happier.

The issue with OP's husband is not his working conditions, it's his character. He's he's an arsehole not giving a shit about his wife or kids and will still be an arsehole if he had a 9-5 job.

TheNefariousOrange · 05/03/2023 06:57

What a twat! I'm so sorry he's putting you through this. I would be playing him at his own game in that I'd be sending PIL a text saying "hi, can you just confirm that DH is there? I need to know which address to send the divorce papers to". Then block him and imagine his face when he finds out.

TheNefariousOrange · 05/03/2023 06:59

But I forgot to add...actually do see a solicitor and get the ball rolling. You don't deserve any of that and he certainly doesn't deserve to have you as a wife.

TheNefariousOrange · 05/03/2023 07:01

This reply has been deleted

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Have you even RTFT? The OP's DH hasn't responded for several days now but has with the son.

niugboo · 05/03/2023 07:09

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 06:37

OP, he is clearly living two different lives but you know that now anyway.

I'll never understand why so many women on here are with a man that 'works away'. It seems to be an epidemic on here. I would never tolerate that situation in the first place. He gets a normal job where he lives or I wouldn't be with him at all. That's how it should be.

Now that is ignorant. Working away is not a new thing and is necessary for many households. It doesn’t mean the relationship is compromised.

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 05/03/2023 07:33

I agree with @niugboo working away isn’t the issue, and I certainly haven’t begrudgingly “tolerated” my DH doing it for 30 years. It’s afforded us a fantastic standard of living and works really well.

That said my DH is 95% contactable and calls me every single morning and every single evening.

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:36

In my experience, working away doesn't work if you have a family. If you're in the army or need to work away, do it before you settle down and have a family. Working away is simply not compatible to relationship/family life, more than plenty of threads on this site attest to this also. It's a selfish lifestyle and simply not compatible with family life or even relationships.

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:38

niugboo · 05/03/2023 07:09

Now that is ignorant. Working away is not a new thing and is necessary for many households. It doesn’t mean the relationship is compromised.

Show quote history

It is never 'necessary'. One can get a normal job. It's a choice, not a necessity.

PoseyFlump · 05/03/2023 07:39

@MyBloodyBrother how did you sleep? How you feeling now? ☕️🍰

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:41

Alondra · 05/03/2023 06:56

Many jobs these days have employees working away 4 days and staying home 3 days, or the opposite.

I live in Australia where there is a huge job market for "fly in, fly out" work in the mining, gas and oil industry. Employers prefer to fly in their employees instead than relocating whole families to a 9-5 job basically because employees, and their families are happier.

The issue with OP's husband is not his working conditions, it's his character. He's he's an arsehole not giving a shit about his wife or kids and will still be an arsehole if he had a 9-5 job.

Show quote history

I'm also in Australia (Qld) and don't know anyone working in those fields. I would presume most are single, because the job isn't very conducive to family life.

Alondra · 05/03/2023 07:52

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:38

It is never 'necessary'. One can get a normal job. It's a choice, not a necessity.

Show quote history

As if having a normal job is a character reference to be a good father or husband. Men can be arseholes, have affairs and be abusive to their families with a 9-5 job, no job, or retired.

Alondra · 05/03/2023 07:54

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:41

I'm also in Australia (Qld) and don't know anyone working in those fields. I would presume most are single, because the job isn't very conducive to family life.

Show quote history

You say you live in Queensland and have no idea about FIFOs?

Pardon me for laughing out loud.

Lorry10 · 05/03/2023 07:55

I'm actually glad for you that he made contact with your son. Now you can decide what to do next with a completely clear conscience - he's not ill or had an accident or his mobile isn't working. He is blanking you and leaving you to worry and manage the house on your own. Be out when he gets back, meet some good friends and enjoy yourself. And meantime start taking stock of the finances and preparing for a better life without him in it.
All the best, you deserve it.

niugboo · 05/03/2023 07:59

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:36

In my experience, working away doesn't work if you have a family. If you're in the army or need to work away, do it before you settle down and have a family. Working away is simply not compatible to relationship/family life, more than plenty of threads on this site attest to this also. It's a selfish lifestyle and simply not compatible with family life or even relationships.

It’s a selfish lifestyle if assume the person working away actually sees that as a benefit. My husband does not. Working away allows him to be home for when the kids get home at 3 on Fridays. Before he worked away he didn’t see them at all during the week anyway. He was tired. He was literally killing himself. This was a decision made as a family and it’s the best decision we ever made. He’s less tired. He’s so much more present when he’s with us. We have more quality time. Less conflict. More money. And he’s always around for the kids. Ironically more than before because now he can say good night whereas before he was stuck on a train.

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 08:02

Alondra · 05/03/2023 07:54

You say you live in Queensland and have no idea about FIFOs?

Pardon me for laughing out loud.

Show quote history

I said I didn't know anyone who is a FIFO. Not that I don't know what it's about (and hence why it's not compatible with families).

Youremyshininglight · 05/03/2023 08:17

So sorry you are going through this op. This time your journey to being in a good place will be shorter, as your starting point is so much better. You'll know you've tried and will have no doubts you are taking the right path by splitting.

niugboo · 05/03/2023 08:19

ItsShiela · 05/03/2023 07:38

It is never 'necessary'. One can get a normal job. It's a choice, not a necessity.

Show quote history

Again ignorant. For many it is. No local work. Jobs that require working away for long periods. Etc etc. you’re very naive.