I think my husband has blocked me?!

[MyBloodyBrother]

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

One of the biggest employers in QLD is the mining and gas industry, worth billions of dollars. You may not know a FIFO personally if you live in Brisbane, but it's beyond ridiculous to give the impression that you have no idea about this job market and how many families actually enjoy it. Men working away for 3,4 or 5 days away, also have the same time at home (plus annual holidays) to be with their kids and be a father instead of working until 6 o 7pm and get home when the children are about to go to bed. And I better no mention pay because most jobs without experience start on $90,000 per year.

Putting the blame on the OP's husband's job is deflecting from the real problem. He doesn't give a shit about her or his children. It's on him, not his job.

@ItsShiela i will take a punt. You don’t have children?

OP your life is going to be so much better once you get shot of him.

I can clear as day remember the feeling the day my ex moved out. I thought I'd have sleepless nights from stress instead of sleepless nights from keep waking up as he wasn't home, wondering where he was etc. The first night, I slept like a baby as it was such a weight lifted from me, as I longer had to care where he was anymore.

I’ve never had an issue with him working away. It was a decision we both made when dc2 was born. We lived in a flat in London and neither of us wanted our kids to grow up with us struggling for money in London but equally DH loved his job and earned really good money. We sold the flat, bought a house in my hometown and a small flat for dh with the money from it and now the kids live in an area with brilliant state schools, I have support of family and friends and they’re at the beach most afternoons after school.

It didn’t end up working, obviously, but it wasn’t a case of me putting up with DH working away, it was a decision we came to together.

I'm not the ignorant one here. Haven't you heard of commuting? Or, you know, moving close to where work is? It is not at all necessary to 'work away'. Not necessary at all. It's a choice, and one that most would not choose to make.

I have 3 children. Which is how I know 'working away' is not compatible. It seems you don't have any children, and possibly are not in a relationship hence think the single life job works with family?

Oh dear. Prove the point again.

My husbands commute is 2 hours. There. And back again. 4 hours a day. Every day. And that’s if the trains run to time.

Moving would involve signicant upheaval to children in terms of schooling and mean we had no family support or access to child care.

oh and we couldn’t afford a house. Literally could not afford a house.

It’s a choice you would choose not to make, which is absolutely fine. It’s a choice that many do choose to make. For many couples it works, for many it doesn’t. Just like everything, really.

Exactly

You have a good head on your shoulders. Making a decision to end a marriage with children, is always difficult, even if your DH is an arsehole. Real life has nothing to do with many posters on AIBU in MN.

Take care of yourself and your children, you've been doing the hard work for years anyway. Time to get rid of him.

You are taking your experience/view and then extrapolating this to everyone! This is very narrow minded.

For some, like you, working away isn't compatible to family life. For others it is absolutely fine. The other benefits make up for the disadvantages.

There is no one "right " way.

The idea that all those oil and gas workers, contract builders, fishermen, soldiers etc shouldn’t be able to have families because working away is not approved by a MN’er is one of the more bonkers posts I’ve seen on here for a while.

The behaviour on MN of some posters is getting worse by the day

Hold your head high op your doing great considering

I agree @Notbeinfunnehbut. I think some posters get a kick out of being nasty keyboard warriors.

I didn't say they shouldn't be able to, but they are certainly single-people jobs. Or jobs you do before you find a partner, settle down, and have a family. Calling that 'bonkers', which it's just plain common sense, is quite nasty.

If you don't fit into their imaginary box with the white picket fence, and mummy baking a cake while daddy cleans the car, then unfortunately you're fucked.

You sound so level headed in all of this, you've not been dramatic, just resigned to where you are now at and I take my hat off to you.

I hope you manage to sort the details somewhat amicably and I hope that your STBXH steps up for the DC.

Ignore the haters here, the drama hungry and the LTB crew, you know what you're doing and I wish you the very best as you move forwards x

God, the is site is site is a cesspit sometimes.
Good luck, OP.
You and your kids deserve better xx

Some people will find anything to nitpick about OP.

Just focus on the helpful posts right now. 💐

But it does work for some. My parents being one. 44 years happily married and my lovely dad worked away 3-4 nights a week.

Are you this black and white generally?

It really is going to the pits!

So is my proofreading!

What the hell was that?!? 😂😂

@ItsShiela

In my experience, working away doesn't work if you have a family.

what experience?

You are spouting utter bollocks @ItsShiela and very much showing your ignorance.

Several years ago I was made redundant. I spent MONTHS looking for another job (I applied for anything and everything). Nowhere local to me was recruiting in my field/at my level and nowhere would give me a lower level role because I was "too experienced".

I ended up taking a job 150 miles away that would've been a 2.5hrs drive and even longer on the train so yeah, that was commutable 

Relocating wasn't an option because DH had his own well established business in our home area.

So I had to stay away 4 days and came home Thursday evening to Monday morning.

It was horrific yes (DS was only 3 at the time) but I did it for 5 years until I found something local.

So yes, it absolutely was a necessity!!

"I didn't say they shouldn't be able to, but they are certainly single-people jobs. Or jobs you do before you find a partner, settle down, and have a family."

Single people jobs 🤣. Living in cloud fucking cuckoo land.

Well done OP, sorry your husband is an utter wanker. You'll be fine though.

Stay strong op ignore the filly comments. As you haven't heard from him still I'd be inclined to start 'getting your ducks in a row' as mumsnet usually advise