Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I think my husband has blocked me?!

506 replies

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 04/03/2023 19:22

"How can I do this when he has blocked me?"....having read further yes I can see that's not going to work but I still suggest you see if you can make plans for some time alone away from the children. You sound like you're prepared to be hit with some devastating news. You also sound like you have a short to medium term plan.
Still, that doesn't takeaway the hurt and the anger you must be feeling....and I can only imagine how hard it is having your children ask 'Where's Daddy?'
Locking the door does sound like a sensible idea however depending on hos nature, don't rely on him slinking off, he could well break in.....which he'd be perfectly entitled to. What a mess.
Do you know what, it might work out better for you all. He can collect the kids on Friday and bring them home Sunday eve. You'll get a proper break and won't feel like your lifestyle on hold.

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:26

JudgeRudy · 04/03/2023 19:22

"How can I do this when he has blocked me?"....having read further yes I can see that's not going to work but I still suggest you see if you can make plans for some time alone away from the children. You sound like you're prepared to be hit with some devastating news. You also sound like you have a short to medium term plan.
Still, that doesn't takeaway the hurt and the anger you must be feeling....and I can only imagine how hard it is having your children ask 'Where's Daddy?'
Locking the door does sound like a sensible idea however depending on hos nature, don't rely on him slinking off, he could well break in.....which he'd be perfectly entitled to. What a mess.
Do you know what, it might work out better for you all. He can collect the kids on Friday and bring them home Sunday eve. You'll get a proper break and won't feel like your lifestyle on hold.

He definitely won’t be coming home this weekend now. 99% sure he’s at his parents. Unfortunately contact will be extremely limited with the kids from now on as he expects me to either haul them up to London for him or have me move out of my house so he can have them here. When we split last time he was seeing them about once a month for a day or so.

OP posts:
timeforachang3 · 04/03/2023 19:28

He sounds like a total shit and I’m sorry you’re having to go through this and from your most recent post, what you have coming ahead. You deserve so much more!

Try and ignore all the shitty replies, mumsnet has become particularly volatile lately!

HelpNeeded7 · 04/03/2023 19:29

OP can you change the locks?

MenopausalMomcat · 04/03/2023 19:35

I’m sorry you can’t talk to your mum right now, I hope you manage to have a good old heart to heart with her on Monday.
For now, throw on your cosiest pj’s, grab a very large glass/mug of your favourite drink, put on some crap TV and try and relax. It’s hard constantly trying to maintain a brave face for the children.
Wish I could reach out and just give you a big hug

🍷🥃🥛🫖☕️🍪🍩🍿🍫🍰💐💐💐
I hope next week brings you some answers.

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:50

HelpNeeded7 · 04/03/2023 19:29

OP can you change the locks?

It’s a bit of a PITA to change the locks because they’re the original ones with massive keys. Luckily ‘D’H only has a key for the back door as he lost his front door key months ago. I can lock the back door from the inside and use the front door to go out. I can also lock the drive gate so he can’t even get to the back door. He can call me if he has an issue with this.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:52

MenopausalMomcat · 04/03/2023 19:35

I’m sorry you can’t talk to your mum right now, I hope you manage to have a good old heart to heart with her on Monday.
For now, throw on your cosiest pj’s, grab a very large glass/mug of your favourite drink, put on some crap TV and try and relax. It’s hard constantly trying to maintain a brave face for the children.
Wish I could reach out and just give you a big hug

🍷🥃🥛🫖☕️🍪🍩🍿🍫🍰💐💐💐
I hope next week brings you some answers.

Thanks so much @MenopausalMomcat. I’m currently in my Oodie and feeling absolutely shattered. I think I’ll be going to bed at the same time as the DC tonight as I’m so tired.

OP posts:
GordonBennett345 · 04/03/2023 19:52

That should work. Or you could add an extra lock on the back door, though that might be seen as antagonistic.

ABlindAssassin · 04/03/2023 19:54

Sorry if you've mentioned this already, but has he blocked you on everything? Messenger, text messages etc?

Gossipxox · 04/03/2023 19:57

Hope your holding up ok and trying to enjoy your weekend x

Tonkerbea · 04/03/2023 19:58

Really admire your calm OP, I hope you'll look back at this time in the future and pinpoint it as the start of a happier life without the negative influence of an inconsiderate husband.

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 20:01

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:50

It’s a bit of a PITA to change the locks because they’re the original ones with massive keys. Luckily ‘D’H only has a key for the back door as he lost his front door key months ago. I can lock the back door from the inside and use the front door to go out. I can also lock the drive gate so he can’t even get to the back door. He can call me if he has an issue with this.

Show quote history

If I were you I would block him back! Why should he be allowed to call you when he's blocked you from speaking to him? Let him go through the hassle of going to court for an occupation order if he wants to get back in having ignored you for days and then blocked you. I'm sorry you are going through this, even now it's clear you are still trying to do what's best for your kids and I think it's admirable that you're not stooping to his level.

Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 20:05

ABlindAssassin · 04/03/2023 19:54

Sorry if you've mentioned this already, but has he blocked you on everything? Messenger, text messages etc?

I haven’t tried texting but he’s definitely blocked me on WhatsApp and blocked my calls.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 20:09

GordonBennett345 · 04/03/2023 19:52

That should work. Or you could add an extra lock on the back door, though that might be seen as antagonistic.

It’s got two massive bolts that I’ve put across. They’re the ones I like to have on before I can fully relax at night and he definitely won’t be getting in without calling me first.

I could block him back but I don’t really feel the need at this point. I’m nearly 40, ffs, I can’t be doing with silly ignoring/ am I/ aren’t I at my parents house/ will I be coming home games. I cope on my own 2/3 of the time anyway. Him not being back this weekend makes a couple of dropping kids at various places tricky but that’s it, really.

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 04/03/2023 20:10

You are emotionally ready for this won’t feel great but you will be free. Make sure he doesn’t clear any joint accounts , grab any financial details you can then get yourself a solicitor Monday.

He emotionally has disconnected. Don’t expect him to pay fair.

AcrossthePond55 · 04/03/2023 20:12

@MyBloodyBrother

Personally, I think you've got your head screwed on pretty straight. He's blocked you, fine. So you're ignoring him and getting on with your day, and good for you! Let him play his stupid game, whatever it is, and he can take the consequences for it. You know him, you've figured him out and you've made up your mind that you aren't going to put up with his bullshit.

You're doing great. I know the emotion is going to 'hit' at some point. Just remember when it does how strong you've been up til now. You've got this and you will get through it.

BeeAFreeBird · 04/03/2023 20:25

Sorry OP. The shock of this after giving him another chance must be very upsetting. I can imagine your heart is breaking for the kids. After this initial shock it won’t be as painful as the last time. You know how this goes this time around. You have a plan and you can walk away knowing you did everything you could, and feel proud that you won’t allow him to make your kids feel as you do, wondering if they’re worth coming home for. You are and they are. Sending love x

Mammajay · 04/03/2023 20:29

I am in awe of your strength in holding your family together. Talk to your mum,get her support and look forward to the future. Your partner does not deserve you.

OhwhyOY · 04/03/2023 20:37

@MyBloodyBrother I'm so sorry you're having to deal ŵith this and him behaving so childishly. It definitely sounds like your life would be simpler without him. I think peace of mind and knowing where you stand so you can plan makes a big difference in life, so if he's so unreliable and selfish, fuck him. You will be better off without him.

brogueish · 04/03/2023 20:37

Mammajay · 04/03/2023 20:29

I am in awe of your strength in holding your family together. Talk to your mum,get her support and look forward to the future. Your partner does not deserve you.

This, with bells on!

CornishIrish · 04/03/2023 20:50

Sending you so much sympathy and empathy. You sound incredibly strong and he sounds incredibly weak. I hope this is a hugely positive turning point in your life now it has clearly come to a head. Good luck.

Fewfucksgiven · 04/03/2023 20:55

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns about this thread, so we've agreed to take it down.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 04/03/2023 21:00

Does sound like he's blocked you on WhatsApp, have you tried just sending him a text, or if he has Facebook, maybe messenger? It's dick behaviour though, if I was you I wouldn't be in a hurry to talk to him, I'd be seriously pissed off.

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 21:02

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 20:09

It’s got two massive bolts that I’ve put across. They’re the ones I like to have on before I can fully relax at night and he definitely won’t be getting in without calling me first.

I could block him back but I don’t really feel the need at this point. I’m nearly 40, ffs, I can’t be doing with silly ignoring/ am I/ aren’t I at my parents house/ will I be coming home games. I cope on my own 2/3 of the time anyway. Him not being back this weekend makes a couple of dropping kids at various places tricky but that’s it, really.

Show quote history

My heart really goes out to you because to be honest it sounds like mentally you have been single for years. You're functioning as a single parent for the majority of the time. You have no proper contact in the week. You sound utterly worn out by it all. I hope you can take yourself off for a nice break sometime soon when the dust has settled, you really deserve it.

Nedmund · 04/03/2023 21:07

His name doesn't start with M does it?

Swipe left for the next trending thread