Page 13 | I think my husband has blocked me?!

Choconut · 04/03/2023 17:46

What a wanker, you're not allowed to call him during the week as it stresses him out (I mean WTF in itself) but it's fine for him to just disappear and abandon you and the kids with you having no idea what's going on. What a selfish bastard.

I think there's something really wrong with him OP and you need to get out and never go back. This type don't like to be rejected and as soon as they feel that's happening they'll fight tooth and nail for you - just to treat you like shit all over again. The cycle just goes round and round and round.

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 17:50

MyBloodyBrother · 03/03/2023 20:45

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared.

He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

Have you used your DC's phone to see if he still has a profile photo?
The only way there wouldn't be a photo is:

He has blocked you, but everyone else can see his photo (e.g. DC if not blocked)
He has deleted a photo full stop, for everyone
He has changed his settings so that people who don't have his number can't see a photo, and he has then deleted your number (seems extreme)

What makes you think he's definitely reading messages?

niugboo · 04/03/2023 17:51

Argh what an absolute asshole.

please please end it. You deserve so much better than this. I don’t know what he’s got going on and let’s be real here it doesn’t matter. Unless he’s dead there’s no scenario where he deserves you, you’re better than this.

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 17:51

Sorry I wrote that last one wrong

He has changed his settings so that people who don't have his number can't see a photo, and he has then deleted your number (seems extreme)

What I should have said was he changed his settings so only his contacts can see his photo, and then he deleted you as a contact.

billy1966 · 04/03/2023 17:53

Wishing you strength OP, it sounds like a very difficult situation with a very selfish man.

PickAChew · 04/03/2023 17:54

I can understand why you're worried, based on his past behaviour. What an absolute arse.

As an FYI about the pokemon go gift, it doesn't necessarily mean that he is where the gift is from, at the moment. You can keep a specific gift in your item bag indefinitely. It certainly wouldn't hurt him to simply let you know that he's at his mum's and needs space, or whatever instead of playing these ridiculous and callous games with you.

PinkyFlamingo · 04/03/2023 18:01

Hope you're OK

Fancylike · 04/03/2023 18:10

Hope you get some headspace next week to gather up all paperwork, monitor bank accounts, and start divorce proceedings.
You’re doing fine without him living with you during the week, so why continue putting up with the stress he brings to your children’s lives.

MrsCplus · 04/03/2023 18:11

I am so sorry that he’s behaving like this. The audacity of this man. I’d be livid. Move on I had a fella like this that would just go missing and had no consideration for me at all. I now have a husband that can’t get enough of me, he lives with me and his kids full time, works from home 2 days a week and texts me on the regular when he is at work cos he actually likes me. Good luck for Monday!

Mollymoostoo · 04/03/2023 18:27

This sounds bloody awful and my heart goes out to you. The only advice I can give is for you to be kind to yourself and look after yourself and your children. His behaviour is unfair on you all and it sounds like he needs to grow up and start being honest about what he wants.
Send you virtual hugs. I have been in this situation before and sadly I have a go at my DH because I'm so petrified that he will treat me the same as my ex did. I hope you manage to recover quickly and find peace. 🙏

Original poster

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 18:41

JudgeRudy · 04/03/2023 16:30

I remember your other post. He worked M-Th instead of T - Fri. You messaged Thursday eve as you assumed he was on the train and he said no, he wa still in the office and was having a shit time with work so would be home Friday evening instead. This is out of character but you didn't pick up the phone to see if he was OK as suggested. You were more concerned about your children expecting him the next day and seemed pissed off rather than worried.
I'd be concerned. He could have been sacked, having a MH crisis or his mistress has given him an ultimatum now she's pregnant. In your position I'd stop firing Qs and send a simple message...Whatever it is, we'll sort it. See you soon x....arrange for someone to have the children tonight so you can have a proper talk before you decide your next step.
If he's not back tonight I'd speak with the Police. Make sure you have info about what train you think he's on, where he works etc...plus a recent pic.
Hopefully it will be something that you can manage and get lifevback on track x

How can I do this when he has blocked me?

OP posts:

BustyLaRoux · 04/03/2023 18:42

OP this is dreadful behaviour on his part. And from what you describe not a one off. My heart goes out to you. Please don’t accept this behaviour. It’s not normal to say your partner isn’t allowed to contact you during the week. It’s nice to hear from your partner when you’re away! Or at least it ought to be. And to just not turn up when you’re expected. No message, nothing..? And he has children who will be looking forward to seeing him. This is narcissistic and cruel. What a thoroughly selfish man. Please don’t let him try and make up with you. He clearly won’t change. For what it’s worth I don’t think he has another family, he may not even be having an affair, but to treat his family like this is absolutely awful. Sending you love and strength. You will get through this.

Amandasummers · 04/03/2023 18:43

It does not make any of this better but my god, you are all well rid. What a spineless, vile human and utterly useless father.

caramelegg · 04/03/2023 18:43

I'd be reporting him as a missing person and let him deal with the embarrassment of having the police contact his family etc looking for him. What kind of husband, father, and just grown adult thinks this is an acceptable way to behave? Sorry you're dealing with this OP.

Original poster

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 18:45

Cocobutt · 04/03/2023 16:55

I’ll just carry on as I am, I guess. I’m not going to try and make contact with him and there’s nothing I need from him in the foreseeable. He knows where we are.

Are you just going to wait for him to go back and carry on like everything is normal until the next time he does it?

I get that you don’t want any negative posts on here but the facts are he’s treating like absolute shit and you think it’s very possible he’s having an affair bug you just let him carry on.
Does he financially carry you?
Which is why you are reluctant to stick up for yourself?

I think you need to decide whether you want to be treated with more respect and therefore ask him to leave.
Or if you don’t want your lifestyle to change and therefore have an open marriage or a friendship rather than a relationship which would mean him not needing to tell you where he is etc.

You cannot carry on in this limbo.

I’ve already said that we’ll be splitting, the house is owned outright and that I have enough to survive for a year or so.

OP posts:

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/03/2023 18:46

Unfortunately, people can't be arsed to read the updates.

Original poster

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 18:57

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 17:50

Have you used your DC's phone to see if he still has a profile photo?
The only way there wouldn't be a photo is:

He has blocked you, but everyone else can see his photo (e.g. DC if not blocked)
He has deleted a photo full stop, for everyone
He has changed his settings so that people who don't have his number can't see a photo, and he has then deleted your number (seems extreme)

What makes you think he's definitely reading messages?

Show quote history

He hasn’t blocked DS as profile pic still there for him. DS doesn’t want to message him though and I’m not going to use DS’s phone to message him as he’s made it clear he doesn’t want contact from me.

He was definitely reading messages up until yesterday evening as they two blue ticks.

OP posts:

bluebeardswife7 · 04/03/2023 19:00

You are being super brave. I am glad you are drawing a line in the sand. Whatever happens you can always say you did your best. Good luck for the future. 💐💐

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 19:02

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 18:57

He hasn’t blocked DS as profile pic still there for him. DS doesn’t want to message him though and I’m not going to use DS’s phone to message him as he’s made it clear he doesn’t want contact from me.

He was definitely reading messages up until yesterday evening as they two blue ticks.

Show quote history

I didn't mean use his phone to message, just to view his Whatsapp profile and see if the photo is still there. When you say messages are blue ticking are you talking about yours? He hasn't blocked you if the messages you are sending to him are blue ticking.

GoodChat · 04/03/2023 19:05

@TiredandHungry19 she's explained this. Until yesterday evening he was reading her messages and not responding. Then when she sent her last message it only ever showed one grey tick. It never got delivered.

Gazelda · 04/03/2023 19:10

Whether he's blocked OP is almost irrelevant now. He's behaved shittily to her and their DC.

OP has decided to have a calm weekend with DC (as far as possible) and then get things rolling next week.

Any further MN detective work is unhelpful.

OP might need handholds, space to rage, wine, whatever. But I think she's made it very clear that she's not interested in uncovering the whys and wherefores right now.

Original poster

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:13

@TiredandHungry19 he was reading the messages I was sending him yesterday and Thursday as they had two blue ticks. Then, shortly before I posted yesterday evening ,the message I sent only had one grey tick and his profile pic disappeared. It is still like that now.

OP posts:

WidthofaLine · 04/03/2023 19:14

Sending strength and support x

Original poster

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 19:14

I want to talk to my mum but she’s away until tomorrow afternoon. I’ll wait until the boys are at school on Monday as I know I’ll cry when I tell her and they’ve seen enough of that already

OP posts:

VerityUnreasonble · 04/03/2023 19:20

@MyMyBloodyBrother I'm sorry the replies on this thread have been so all over the place. It sounds like you are doing a great job of taking care of the DCs, keeping them calm and occupied. It isn't your fault if they are upset he isn't returning, these are his actions and the consequences. It is a shame you have to pick up the pieces.

I'm glad you feel able to separate as he doesn't sound a partner to you and you deserve someone who can be that. I hope you are able to get some support from your Mum soon.