Page 12 | I think my husband has blocked me?!

MyBloodyBrother · 2023-03-03T20:45:58+00:00

He’s not been responding to WhatsApp messages today but has definitely been reading them. I messaged him again about 30 mins ago and it’s staying on one grey tick and his profile pic has disappeared. He could be on the train so it could be that he has no signal but that doesn’t explain why his profile pic has gone.

JudgeJ · 04/03/2023 15:36

Hooklander · 04/03/2023 11:36

That's really quite a silly thing to say.

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Not at all 'silly' many of us manage our lives perfectly well without expecting our partner to be at our beck and call at all times of the day, maybe that's why we have marriages that last over 50 years! Before someone gets onto their hind legs, it's a general comment, not related to the OP's situation.

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:37

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 13:56

I’m pretty sure he’ll have sent that particular gift from his parent’s town because he’s either at his parents or wants me to think that he’s at his parents. I just don’t have the energy for it. I’m out with dc atm and I’ve locked the driveway gate so he won’t be able to get in even if he does decide to turn up. I’m going to try and have a normal a weekend as possible and look into getting everything sorted once dc are back at school on Monday.

Presumably you do not have a good relationship with your in laws?

SchoolTripDrama · 04/03/2023 15:39

@MyBloodyBrother

Please, please ignore the bullies on this thread. They're just after a soap opera to follow. This is your real life.
You sound like a very articulate & intelligent woman. You already know you deserve better and you already know how you want to deal with this so I'm just going to wish you luck and say you have my support and no doubt the support of many others on here. I find the best way to deal with the comments like you mention are to simply ignore them completely

Englishash · 04/03/2023 15:41

You sound to me like a very level -headed person. You gave this man a second chance likely for the sake of your children. Good on you for not putting up with his shit again. It's inspiring to see you standing up for yourself and for them and not dancing to the tune of this ridiculous man. Stick to your plan -have a near-normal-as-possible weekend with your children and set about washing him out of your hair next week. You'll find the strength because you've certainly got the balls. Well done you.

SchoolTripDrama · 04/03/2023 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why are you saying this???? OP has already stated several times that she plans to leave her H and has it all planned out in her mind. She doesn't need people like you sticking the boot in even further. This is nothing short of bullying

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:42

He did exactly the same thing a month ago today according to the thread you started on him not responding to messages on the 2nd Feb. So he’s done it again. More hand wringing, more drama, more tension, more unhappiness. What people do it up with in relationships is beyond me

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4754852-how-pissed-off-if-at-all-would-you-be-about-this?postsby=MyBloodyBrother

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:43

Sorry - I didn’t mean to post that!! As had seen my error

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:44

Two threads on same issue OP

how come the intense desire to get anonymous posters thoughts on your situation? You don’t one mention a friend or family that you could talk about this in RL?

MeinKraft · 04/03/2023 15:44

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:44

Two threads on same issue OP

how come the intense desire to get anonymous posters thoughts on your situation? You don’t one mention a friend or family that you could talk about this in RL?

Maybe she doesn't want her friends and family knowing how bad it is. Lots of people wouldn't.

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:46

MeinKraft · 04/03/2023 15:44

Maybe she doesn't want her friends and family knowing how bad it is. Lots of people wouldn't.

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yes

but on this thread and the other - in the space of 48 hours she seems to have done very little other than keep mumsnet updated.

I feel for her but I think her priorities are not skewed. I’d hide mumsnet and start planning the demise of this marriage and the fact that she needs to make the change for her children

Axahooxa · 04/03/2023 16:08

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I think your decisions sound good- and you are putting you and your kids first. Im sorry he’s so selfish and cruel.

JudgeRudy · 04/03/2023 16:30

I remember your other post. He worked M-Th instead of T - Fri. You messaged Thursday eve as you assumed he was on the train and he said no, he wa still in the office and was having a shit time with work so would be home Friday evening instead. This is out of character but you didn't pick up the phone to see if he was OK as suggested. You were more concerned about your children expecting him the next day and seemed pissed off rather than worried.
I'd be concerned. He could have been sacked, having a MH crisis or his mistress has given him an ultimatum now she's pregnant. In your position I'd stop firing Qs and send a simple message...Whatever it is, we'll sort it. See you soon x....arrange for someone to have the children tonight so you can have a proper talk before you decide your next step.
If he's not back tonight I'd speak with the Police. Make sure you have info about what train you think he's on, where he works etc...plus a recent pic.
Hopefully it will be something that you can manage and get lifevback on track x

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/03/2023 16:42

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:46

yes

but on this thread and the other - in the space of 48 hours she seems to have done very little other than keep mumsnet updated.

I feel for her but I think her priorities are not skewed. I’d hide mumsnet and start planning the demise of this marriage and the fact that she needs to make the change for her children

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Op said she was waiting until the kids were back at school Monday and would look into getting everything sorted. This is the slow realisation of the breakdown of her marriage. Please give her a chance. Even her ds doesn’t want to talk to him so that gives an indication of how distanced this man is from his family as well as his wife.

Cocobutt · 04/03/2023 16:55

I’ll just carry on as I am, I guess. I’m not going to try and make contact with him and there’s nothing I need from him in the foreseeable. He knows where we are.

Are you just going to wait for him to go back and carry on like everything is normal until the next time he does it?

I get that you don’t want any negative posts on here but the facts are he’s treating like absolute shit and you think it’s very possible he’s having an affair bug you just let him carry on.
Does he financially carry you?
Which is why you are reluctant to stick up for yourself?

I think you need to decide whether you want to be treated with more respect and therefore ask him to leave.
Or if you don’t want your lifestyle to change and therefore have an open marriage or a friendship rather than a relationship which would mean him not needing to tell you where he is etc.

You cannot carry on in this limbo.

letthemalldoone · 04/03/2023 16:57

SchoolTripDrama · 04/03/2023 15:39

@MyBloodyBrother

Please, please ignore the bullies on this thread. They're just after a soap opera to follow. This is your real life.
You sound like a very articulate & intelligent woman. You already know you deserve better and you already know how you want to deal with this so I'm just going to wish you luck and say you have my support and no doubt the support of many others on here. I find the best way to deal with the comments like you mention are to simply ignore them completely

Same.

There are some very sad, not to mention rude, individuals out there who take some twisted pleasure in kicking someone who's already in a tough situation. It says everything about their character - @MyBloodyBrother don't give them the time of day.

Your husband is a waste of oxygen. Would there be any point in ringing his parents, let them know what's happened, and ask them to tell him not to bother coming home, ever?

Led9519 · 04/03/2023 16:59

Virtual hand hold.
you and DC deserve so much better than this behaviour. He must never be able
to treat you like this again .
if I were his mother I’d be ashamed of
him.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/03/2023 17:00

I'm so sorry for what's happened to you

He's a complete bastard that you can now leave, knowing you did everything to make it work

sittingonabranch · 04/03/2023 17:04

MyBloodyBrother · 04/03/2023 13:32

I’ve still heard nothing from him and from what I can tell I’m still blocked. My eldest plays Pokémon Go though and said his dad has sent him a gift today. The gifts say where they were collected and this gift is from the town where his parents live up North. I’m guessing he’s there and done that deliberately so we know where he is. He won’t be coming back this weekend then as they’re up in the North West and we’re in the SW.

I’ll just carry on as I am, I guess. I’m not going to try and make contact with him and there’s nothing I need from him in the foreseeable. He knows where we are. I’m desperately sad for my kids more than anything as they were so happy to have him back again and I’m putting them through it all over again.

I haven't read other people's replies so I am not sure if someone has covered this but YOU are not putting your children through anything. The utter cockwomble that is their father is doing that! Even if he didn't want to come home and see you, to not want to see his children or even bother to contact them, is lower than low. You're well rid OP. I am so glad you're in a situation where you are okay for money etc and wish you the very best X

Aubree17 · 04/03/2023 17:05

OP I think you need to take a step back and consider if this relationship is working for you.
Focus on whether the things you have mentioned compile the type of relationship you envisaged.
Focus on you. And what you want. There you may find some answers.

letthemalldoone · 04/03/2023 17:06

Vegrocks · 04/03/2023 15:46

yes

but on this thread and the other - in the space of 48 hours she seems to have done very little other than keep mumsnet updated.

I feel for her but I think her priorities are not skewed. I’d hide mumsnet and start planning the demise of this marriage and the fact that she needs to make the change for her children

Show quote history

You are right actually - even though I know it's not what you intended to say!!! - her priorities are not skewed. The OP is trying to keep things on an even keel for the kids, as she can do nothing else until Monday. She sounds pretty clear to me that this is the death knell of the marriage, and that she can manage financially at least in the short-term.

She's split with him before, tried again and he's treating her like utter shit in spite of the fact that she's clearly still recovering from what sounds like pretty serious surgery. He's not dead in a ditch though if he's engaging in gaming with their DS.

She is probably not ready to talk to people IRL yet, or maybe doesn't have anyone to offload to - and that's fine!! Lots of posters do it.

So, if you have nothing constructive to say, maybe it would be a good idea for you to just butt out.

SRS29 · 04/03/2023 17:12

My goodness OP, wishing you all the very best...stay strong, your dc's sound lucky to have you x

LaRitournelle · 04/03/2023 17:15

MN can be so infuriating these days.

It's clear to me you know this is the end of your marriage, and god forbid you dared start another thread.

Wishing you all the best

Notbeinfunnehbut · 04/03/2023 17:16

I’d be asking his parents and letting them know how he’s behaved

TiredandHungry19 · 04/03/2023 17:19

You poor thing, this sounds absolutely awful. I hope you're as okay as you can be.
Some might say this is petty but if I were you I'd be messaging someone in his family, even if it's a feigned surprise 'have you heard from DH, I'm really worried as he's not come home or spoken to any of us for days, not even our DC'. Let them know exactly how he's behaving and maybe they will talk some sense into him. There is absolutely no excuse, affair or other woman or breakdown or anything, for him to do this for so long. It's bad enough that he hasn't told you where he is etc but to not speak to his child while sending him stuff on a Pokemon game? How old is this man, it honestly boggles the mind. I hope you get some answers soon. He will be back with his tail between his legs at some point, try to get your legal advice asap so you are at least armed with knowledge of your rights, whatever you choose to do next.

CuriousMama · 04/03/2023 17:19

@MyBloodyBrother please don't forgive him. He's a bastard. He sounds emotionally immature to me.
I hope you and the dcs will be ok?

Maybe start another thread once you know it's totally over?

I know you don't like the posts suggesting someone lives with him etc? They've probably witnessed this before. But you know he's probably too selfish to give up his boring life in his flat. He doesn't sound like he can be bothered with much emotion?

Take care of yourself.